Dating: What a Chore

I have to be honest with all of you, my experience with actual dating sucks. I spent most of my 20’s with the abusive idiot I was married to, and most of my 30’s with a man that became more family than romantic. Now I am 40, and I crave a relationship of my own. The opportunity to actually have someone love me and for me to love them back. A chance to know what team work and partnership through good times and bad is truly like.

I have no trouble meeting men, or having men approach me, just not men I am attracted to or have the qualities I desire, or they are married or in relationships and would just like a sexual experience with me. Sex it appears drives every aspect of dating now. Sex is easy, we can all get laid if we want to, it’s the everything else that is not easy to get. If you think in the article that I found the secret to finding that “everything else”, well you’re in for a great disappointment. I don’t know the answers for women like me, what I do know is that I don’t want a guy who just wants to get in bed by date 3. I know sexual attraction is part of our innate nature, but it can hold back and through getting to know each other be better once we get to that point.

A friend of mine said to try one of those single sites. Well I did, I joined Singles Net, and that membership lasted an entire 24 hours. I specifically wrote in my profile that I was not interested in casual sexual relationships, or men who are married or in relationships. Apparently no one reads profiles on these things because I was very specific about what I was looking for. When I logged on the next day I was bombarded by emails that were from men in relationships, wanting sex, three-sums and all except what I had expressed as my needs in the profile, though I did make one friend (platonic) that we just happened to share a same interests in history so we email and that is nice. So I wasted 29.95 on that venture as I discontinued my membership immediately.

The same friend has suggested we do speed dating together, I told her I am game to try it, hell if I just make another interesting friend then no harm no foul right? I just don’t know if the fact that sex is so easy to obtain now that relationships have become too much of a chore to bother with. Or if people of my age group are just so jaded from past baggage that they are afraid of being hurt again. My theory is simple, we cannot let our past hold us from the present or the future. Our baggage, which we all have has to be let go of as all people are not the same as those we have been with before.

I do know that I still hold on to that hope and dream to experience that which in my 40 years I have not. I look at my parents and after 45 years through up’s and downs are still crazy about each other. Is our generation so weak minded now that we cannot achieve those same relationships? I don’t know, this is all such a mystery to me. I hope to hear input from all of you out there on your methods and experiences.