Dating and Dumping

                                            Dating and Dumping

          Last Sunday I was horrified at reading an article titled,  “When to date and when to dump.”  I thought it was a very cruel act, viewed from the Indian angle. How could a man or a woman date each other for some days and kick him/her out of sight as unwanted stuff like a banana skin?  Is it  possible that  they had gone too far ahead in their physical relationship and had felt guilty about it? How could one treat dating so very casually and irresponsibly?

           Dating is not at all a common practice in India. Yes, some do and they are the exceptional types.

         You know there is a saying  that “A lady should be under control of her parents till she becomes an adult, then handed over  to a man in marriage. If the husband dies, she will be under charge of her own son(s).”  You may see it  as a kind of “bondage’” or as a sort of ‘bonded labourer’.  But why not look at this adage in another way – A woman  is always well protected so long as she lives in this world.; she is never an abandoned soul but a highly privileged human being.

          But this sanctity of protected life is being blasted frequently these days by some high profile Indian women, who are mostly the software engineers. Because of the heavy pay packet they get they feel they could live on their own  and meet all their expenses,  in hostels or in cottages.  And  so, they bid good bye to the parents and live elsewhere  but in the same city.  It is they who date young men primarily out of frustration and loneliness.  Yes, they could follow the concept of ‘dating and dumping’ ad lib.

         I must also tell you about the other side, regarding the law abiding young Indian maidens. They don’t think in terms of dating any man at all. In fact, it’s a taboo to be seen with a man before marriage.  Is it a crime to fall in love? you may ask. No, it’s not.  But falling in love doesn’t mean you go and date that woman like she is a public property who could be taken advantage of ?

         Shouldn’t she be handled with respect and honour due to a woman? In modern day life in India, Boys and Girls do get to  see and mix with  each other in various social parties.  And if a Boy is  attracted to a particular Girl, he would follow her clandestinely to assess her suitability to be his life mate. [He would never look at her as a sex object, to be dated at will,  to be enjoyed and thrown out] Sometime he may make enquiries about her life habits, temperament etc from friends and neighbours.  Once he is  satisfied  from all angles that she is the right partner for him, he or his parents  would approach the  Girl’s parents for  a pow-wow and express their interest in the young lady.  If the young  thing also reciprocates by  a green signal  and the parents have no objection to their union, only then they would be allowed to spend time together but  always inside the house. If they want to go out, an elder would always accompany the pair to a park or a restaurant or a function or wherever.  The two, who would be deeply in love by now, will never find themselves all by themselves ever  for reasons you know very well.   .

       Premarital sex is again an unheard of thing in India. Sometime the lovers may forget this rule and lose control over their passion.  It is to prevent such mishaps that the parents keep  a supervisory  check over them. Holding hands, hugging and kissing are OK but no further than that. 

       Are you now convinced of the reasons  as to why I consider ‘when to date and when to dump’ syndrome with  total contempt?