Be Quick to Listen and Slow to Speak
September 9, 2012 by Emancipation
Published in Dating
How many times have we spoken over someone and totally disregarded what they were trying to say?
Do we as humans really listen to what someone is saying before we offer our own opinion?
Face it, God gave us two ears and one mouth. That is because we should listen twice as much as we speak.
Think of it this way. Two people having a dispute. One person starts speaking and the other starts to listen. But how long is it before the person doing the listening starts to talk all over the speaker?
Couples having an argument do this on a regular basis. It is almost as if the listener suddenly pulls out a key phrase or words which he or she feels passionately enough to defend. But IF we allowed the speaker to complete what they had to say, weighed it up in our mind to form a valid response, then more problems could be solved.
I have been guilty of this. If I am honest I still am. I usually listen half-hearted to what someone has to say. Then when something strikes up an emotion in me, I start to talk all over the speaker. In hindsight, if I were to allow the person to complete what they had to say, I would probably reply in a more constructive way.
Realising we have two ears and one mouth is a simple lesson that mean we should learn the art of being quick to listen and be slow to speak.
Good listening builds relationships. However, good listeners are not born – they are bred!
Here are a few tips on becoming a better person at listening:
1. Always listen without interrupting.
It is difficult, especially during a dispute and you may have to listen to things about you or something that you disagree on. When the debate is personal – let’s say between yourself and a partner – this can be twice as hard to do.
Remember the old saying: “A still tongue keeps a wise head.”
Resist the temptation to just dive in and complete the sentence, or hijack the floor. Rein yourself in for a moment and just listen!
2. Listen to understand.
If someone has a point to make, then no matter how hard it is to resist jumping in to defend yourself or offer an explanation, do your best to try and understand their point of view and feelings on the subject matter. Try and comprehend their emotions, their thinking and needs. Do your best to reflect their passion on yourself and put yourself in their shoes.
Liked it
September 9th, 2012 at 8:11 pm
very good – thank you
September 9th, 2012 at 9:39 pm
A lot of wisdom here.
September 9th, 2012 at 11:22 pm
I am so guilty of this – interrupting, not necessarily in disputes, but in regular conversation – I need to take your advice. Good article.
September 10th, 2012 at 12:43 am
Though it started with an age-old cliche, post is very good!
September 10th, 2012 at 12:54 am
Being a good listener is important to remember.
September 10th, 2012 at 2:09 am
I guess ego speaks out. we just ought to listen to their views. We always try to defend ourselves and our points i.e. human nature at its best.
September 10th, 2012 at 5:20 am
God Job
Keep Write
September 10th, 2012 at 6:33 am
Thanks a lot for this
September 10th, 2012 at 11:04 am
Very good…thanks:)
September 10th, 2012 at 1:00 pm
useful share
September 10th, 2012 at 4:43 pm
Good piece, there are very few good listeners
September 10th, 2012 at 7:58 pm
I know exactly what you mean, but it’s so hard when someone bashes something you believe in and starts telling you how wrong headed you are. I do try to keep my mouth shut as much as possible.
September 10th, 2012 at 11:49 pm
Great advice. It’s difficult to apply because we often carry away by emotion. We have to learn to listen and speak wise throughout our life. Thanks.
September 11th, 2012 at 1:39 am
writing is very good and beneficial to share
September 11th, 2012 at 10:21 am
A very accurate analysis of the nature of humans here Emancipation. I had this quarrelsome neighbor years ago, who would start a late night quarrel with his wife, then their child join in the quarrel, especially children who have taken sides in the quarrel, then all start talking loudly at the same time! In such a situation, the purpose of the one mouth and two ears is rendered useless and you can’t help thinking how abusive these folks are to the logic and wisdom of God in giving us two ears and one mouth!!
September 11th, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Very good…and very true…
September 12th, 2012 at 5:06 am
Great advice thanks for sharing it.
September 16th, 2012 at 5:15 pm
I can understand your feelings on this subject. Very good writing!
October 16th, 2012 at 11:53 am
In arguments this occurs often and each person wants to get their point across, this often happens at the same time. We must learn to listen and speak in turn.