Are You a Loser But You Want a Girlfriend?

July 12, 2011 by Emily Rogers  
Published in Dating

Here’s some ways even a loser can get a girlfriend.

Being a girl myself, I can offer advice on how men can please the female race.  Here are ten steps on how to make a girl swoon over you.

1) Own a dog or cat.  Girls love dogs and cats, so you should own one.  If a girl doesn’t like dogs or cats, it’s probably because she looks like a dog herself.  Owning a dog or cat is the quickest way to make a girl go “awww”.

2) Own stock in Apple or Google.  Owning stock in a major corporation will make her think you are a big shot and she will totally sleep with you.

3) Carry a gun with you.  If you carry a gun with you everywhere you go, then girls will think you are a bad boy.  Girls love bad boys.

4) Keep a condom in your wallet.  If a girl knows you have a condom in your wallet, she’ll think you are always prepared.

5) Keep a vibrator in your pocket.  If a girl doesn’t get sexually aroused by your equipment, then you can bring out a toy to keep her happy.

6) Write her a love poem or love song.  We girls love poems or songs written about us.  It’s a good way to reach our heart.  If you play it on a guitar, even better!

7) Write calculus problems in front of us.  We girls aren’t very good at math, and we get turned on by guys who can do calculus.

8) Fight a guy in a bar.  That totally turns girls on because it shows you are superior over other guys if you beat them up.  This can backfire though.

9) Never be yourself.  Girls hate guys who are themselves.  Instead, let us girls turn you into whatever we want you to be.  Let us turn you into putty.

10) You have to buy us candy, flowers, and bananas.  It’s a requirement.

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2 Responses to “Are You a Loser But You Want a Girlfriend?”
  1. Totton Says:

    Emily , I have 4 cats and in maths i am great also i can beat a guy in the bar also i know amazing poems and 2morrow gonna buy a gun and apple stock so HOW YOU DOING ;) ??

  2. Lucky Star Says:

    woowo.very good

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