10 Tips to Catch a Cheating Man Without Being Branded a Psycho
Follow this guide to find out whether your man is cheating or not.
He forgets to kiss you before going off to work this morning and all of a sudden it hits you-he may be cheating. Though the thought might really stick out in your mind today, you’ve probably been thinking about it for a while. Here are ten ways that you can “spy” on your man discreetly enough to get the answers that you deserve.
Talk to him
This is the obvious, straightforward choice. Asking your guy about what’s going on will not only give him a chance to explain things, but you’re at least giving him a chance. Many relationships would be so much better off with open communication lines. Just be prepared for the answer that he will give you-if it’s not what you wanted to hear, just remember, you’re the one that asked. Asking him will also prove whether he’s trustworthy or not, especially if you’ve found something else out.
Talk to his friends and family
This is where you don’t want to be so straightforward, because most of the time a guys friends and family will be more devoted to him than they are to you. Talk to them about the things that you usually talk to them about. Watch their reactions and compare them to how they usually respond to things around you. Mention your guy, not the bad things, the good things about him and why you love him so much. If he’s cheating and they know about it, their reactions will change to the things that you say.
Pay attention to the phone
Is he making and receiving private phone calls all of a sudden? Do these occur at night? When you casually pick up his phone does he freak out? Are his incoming and outgoing calls erased? Is he constantly texting? When you call him, does he not answer the phone? Does he answer the phone and treat you like a guy pal and not a girlfriend? The point is not to become extremely paranoid, but the phone is usually a big clue in finding out whether a guy is cheating or not.
Pay attention to his computer usage
Is he part of a social networking site such as MySpace or Facebook? If so, take a look at his comments and friends. Was he ok with you having his password and all of a sudden he’s changed it? Red flag. Also, do a random search on these and other dating sites for his name. You might be surprised at what you find. Your guy may have a personal ad out there.
Meet his “new” friends
If your guy mysteriously makes friends with “a guy from work,” ask to meet this friend. If he refuses to let you, drop something off at his job one day and ask where “Joe” is around other co-workers to find out if this friend exists. Also, offer to go with him when he has to go “pick up” his friend or help his friend out.
Watch for changing schedules.
If your guy has worked the same schedule since you met and all of a sudden his job is unpredictable, he’s getting called in a lot, or is working double shifts; something else may be going on. Call his job to remind him about something just to see if he’s there.
Examine his intimacy level
If your guy was all over you at one time, and now hardly even wants to kiss you, something may be amiss. Also, though this is very twisted, if all of a sudden he wants for you to do things that you’ve never had to do before to keep him happy, this is also a red flag.
Surprise him
If you say that you are going out of town for the weekend, come home a day early and see what he’s up to. If he will be working late, bring him dinner. Become interested in the little things that he says, and make sure that these little things make sense. For example, if he tells you that his friend Bob will be moving all day on Saturday and that he has to help him, ask Bob where he’s moving the next time that you see him.
Examine your fights
Does he start a fight with you for no apparent reason every day? Is everything always your fault? Does he use your fights to get away from you? Does he make you feel like you’re crazy for thinking that he’s cheating? Does he tell you that you’re always starting the fights when you know that it’s him?
Trust your intuition
You had the thought for a reason. People don’t think that other people are cheating for no reason.
These tips are not laid out for you to drive yourself crazy trying to be a super-spy, they are here to give you the proof that you need in order to get yourself out of a bad situation. No one deserves to be cheated on, and the best advice is to get out of the situation if it’s happening to you. Remember, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
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June 11th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Very well written Jill. Can name a few friends that avoided some of the signs you mentioned, and later regretted it.
June 14th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
thanks, this helped me alot. i just had been holding this off really but one time i ask him that was a mess but, this might just helped me more then i think. and again thanks keep on wrighting you might just saved me from lots of pain
June 18th, 2008 at 11:48 am
I am being so faithfull to my boyfriend I love him but I feel when we seperated he meet women on myspace and yahoo. I feel that he still keeps in contact with them and that is why he keeps his myspace so private and I can never see it at all/ HE still has there numbers in his phone and he hides his phone from me all the time. WHY DOES HE DO THAT?? IF I ASK HIM IF HE IS CHEATING OR TALKING HE SAYS THAT I AM CRAZY/BIPOLAR??
June 19th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Well….I think that sometimes if you’ve taken someone back after they’ve cheated on you that it can make you paranoid. I’m not taking the guys side on this, but if he’s still with you and says that he’s not doing any of these things, why not trust him? I understand that he may have done these things before, but obviously you care about him enough to have taken him back, that was YOUR choice, so don’t drive him crazy with your paranoia. The last line of the article states it all…so if you decided to stay with him, then trust him. If he proves to be untrustworthy again, you still have the choice to leave.
June 20th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
You have the right idea. Good article.
July 14th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
For someone who has always been alert for cheating signs(my own fault for dating too many players) I just loved this article and I’m going to post it to some friends of mine who really need their eyes opening. Nice to see a fellow sistah on the site too. Keep it up
August 3rd, 2008 at 1:28 pm
I like this article a lot. Makes sense, the tips are helpful and HOPEFULLY I have to never use them.
November 16th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Hey this article makes alot of sense, I have been seeing this guy for nearly a year & only the last few weeks its has been the worst few weeks of my life, he brings his phone into the shower with him & makes sure its by his side constant, if i ask to use it, everything is deleted, he is trying to push me away & even asked me to leave 2 weeks ago so I did but then he was begging me to come back so I came back but am still unsure what to do, we are not having sex as often & if we do its for his pleasure only, I found msg’s from girls in his phone which was so hurting, please help me someone
June 3rd, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Wow, extremely well written article. Well ‘researched’ also, I have guy friends that would cringe if their girlfriends read your article. As such, I will DEFINITELY be sharing it for other to read as well
September 7th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Your going to ruin us, jk. Good job, cheating men mess it up for the rest of us.