10 Signs You Should Dump Your Boyfriend
July 6, 2008 by Angelita DeBois
Published in Dating
Is it time to make up, or break up?
So, you’ve been dating/living/married to your man for some time and some of his habits makes you physically ill: he leaves the toilet seat up, he leaves his socks on the floor, and/or he drinks the last drop of milk and puts the carton back in the refrigerator. All annoying traits, yes, but are they signs you should through him out like yesterday’s trash? I’ve compiled a list of signs that can give you a clue that it might be time to give your man his walking papers.
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He No Longer Considers Your Feelings
If you break your leg and your man doesn’t even visit you in the emergency room, that’s a problem. It shouldn’t have to come to that extreme: little signs that indicate a lack of empathy should be enough for you to know that your relationship has run its course. Need some examples? You have a bad day (and it’s written on your face) and he doesn’t ask you about it. You have a headache and he doesn’t offer you an aspirin. If you are in pain, whether physical or mental, and your man says or does nothing…that’s someone who doesn’t care about you.
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He’s Become the Invisible Man
When you’re with someone, they should be there. If you are in a long distance relationship, that’s one thing. If your man lives across town but you hardly ever see him…that’s a sure clue that he’s just not into you anymore.
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He’s Become “Mr. X”
You used to know your man inside and out but now you don’t know what’s going on in his life. For all you know he’s changed jobs, his name, his hair-color, his sexual orientation. You can’t be in a relationship if you don’t even know the person you’re in a relationship with.
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You Can’t Stand the Very Sight of Him
You used to love his face. The cute way he smiled at you. Now…whenever you see him you want to throw up. Before, he said the cutest things. Now, if he speaks you want to slap him. Again, this may be extreme but if you don’t have an attraction to your man anymore, that’s a BIG problem.
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You Keep Secrets
One of the best things about being in a relationship is that you have someone you can confide in. A confidant is someone you can trust. If you can share with your man, it’s because you can’t trust him. You should be able to trust your man. There are some secrets that everyone keeps to themselves but if you find yourself keeping more and more things closer to the vest.
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No Sex
This one doesn’t include for medical reasons. This one doesn’t include those couples who had a slow sex life to begin with. This clue is for those couples that were having sex but now don’t. Depending on how long you’ve been together, a natural decrease in the frequency is normal. I’m talking about the total absence of any desire for your man. When you don’t want to have sex with your man under any circumstance,s that is a major problem.
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He Doesn’t Tell You About Important Things
This one ties into number five. You may still tell your man things but he doesn’t tell you things. Very important things like he’s seeing someone else.
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You’re Very Unhappy
You can’t expect that every day in a relationship is going to be sunshine and lollipops. However, if everyday feels like slow torture and you just want to curl up into a ball and cry…that’s not a good thing. You could be depressed but if you feel this way because of the one your with…you don’t need a therapist to tell you that breaking up may make you loads happier.
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His Little Bad Habits Make Your Blood Boil
I have a boyfriend. He leaves the shower curtain open. He puts a dish in the sink and doesn’t scrape the plate so the sink clogs. He takes off his pants and lets them drop wherever; usually it’s in the middle of the floor. And he snores loudly. These are things that he does. I’ve asked him to stop (not the snoring; I know he can’t help that). He says he’ll try. He doesn’t. It doesn’t cause me too much angst. If your man does little things that make you want to go nuclear, he should leave your crazy behind alone!
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You Feel Trapped
You feel crushed by the love you feel for your boyfriend. The weight of it is immense. No situation is unchangeable. You CAN free yourself. You just need the strength of your convictions.
One of the things I’ve been guilty of in the past is staying with someone because I felt that I couldn’t do any better. That was a mistake. It is really true: you can do bad all by yourself. I don’t care if you feel you are too old to find someone new, or too ugly, or too fat. No relationship is worth you giving up your own happiness to maintain it. I realize that being a strong person is not always easy; but I believe that it is the ONLY way to live and to love. However, don’t mistake strength for inflexibility: I pick up my boyfriend’s pants all the time.
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July 18th, 2008 at 5:55 am
Hello, thank you lots for the 10 signs. Its high time men stop playing with our feelings. Even if it hurts, am dumping him.
July 26th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
I just read that long message, just wanted to say, I can relate to all of it, I have had it done to me by a man, I am still healing now, but its better to be out of it, I want a happy life with someone one day.
August 1st, 2008 at 9:55 am
As a man, and speaking for my kind, I must say you are right. Sometimes things just don’t work out.
August 9th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
going to say this for all the guys out there who would say no sex wtf you gays lol had to be said but everything else is really a sign
August 15th, 2008 at 5:34 am
i can relate .. to few things i sometimes think about his age im 19, he is 22 i feel like he is just going through an immature stage but i have a 16 year old brother who wouldn’t pull HALF the bull he does i am trapped and finding it hard to get out because i love him im torn torn too one day i will be all angry and want to leave him then the next day i cant live without him… i know deep down its codependancy and the unhappy feeling has actually never gone away it’s been there buried under crap for about a year now .. i cant escape my own insecurities what do i do??
i’m worried this whole relationship is just even both of us being scared to be alone?
September 14th, 2008 at 8:54 am
I really can relate to the signs becuz i am going though some of the bull with my man now. There are times when I just want him the hell out of my life. Is it really that hard for men to say no to sex especially when u are getting it all the time? What kills me is that men do anything to us females but let us do something wrong or cheat they want to kill us…and its true you can do bad by yourself, but I’ve been with my man since I was 16 and I’m 21 now and he’s 27 now he’s all I know(man) and we have 2 kids together. It’s crazy but it doesn’t mean that i must stay with him no1 wants a man cheating on them all the time its 2 many diseases out there and most men don’t like to use protection…i love my man and i can’t take but so much…but men don’t realize what they have until she’s gone.
October 14th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years now and i’m now sixteen, his parents are very strict, he has no computer acsess or a mobile so i have no contact with him so its hard to arrange things and i dont know what he’s doing half the time, sometimes we have really bad arguments about the tiniest things because he is overprotective and i have uncontrollable crying fits and its really taking a toll on me but i cant end it because i know deep down i love him i just cant get through to him and get him to tell me how he feels. can someone email me with advise? milkcarton@live.co.uk
October 15th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
i have had a 1 month affair with a man, we dated twice. i told him that im not playing games and i want serious relationship…he said just trust him.bcoz of his busy days in his job sometimes we just talk in a short period of time until he went for a business travel, and his phone issues, suddenly changed of his iterinary is a very strange story for me. to make story short i saw the signs that he is going to dump me. it hurts, i started to delete his pictures and im giving him 1 week to answer my off lines, if not..i will totally delete his contact. thanks for this column it helps for me…to all ladies out there,,if u see one of those signs especially in man’s phone be aware! trust your instinct…
October 15th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
nicole,
i understand how you feel, its normal to a parents protecting their child especially in this issues..1st–your young and a lot of things will happen to your life. dont take it so seriously anyway your only 16. dont rush. i know you love your bf but dont go with the flow of your emotions..keep busy to your other activities in lfe especially in ur studies. time will come you will realize everything..take care.
October 28th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Thank you, I can relate to most of this and to be honest I already knew it deep down. I’ve been with my boyfriend almost 3 years and am now nearly 20. People change alot in that time, and I just think we’ve changed in opposite directions.. he’s driving me mad! He’s far to clingy and immature!
Just to the hard part of actually ending it…
November 2nd, 2008 at 2:10 am
i love him so much and don’t want to dump him regardless of the signs… i’d rather have one sided love coming from my end than no love at all
November 10th, 2008 at 12:19 am
I’ve been in my relationship for 5 years we argue about stupid things enough that I get headaches from it. I ask him to leave because everything is in my name but he won’t go. I wish I could go.
November 18th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
just checking if i need to sign up…
November 18th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
it does work…
… (sigh). relationships are hard. looking over my life, at age 24, my feeling is that a lot of my friendships have really made a difference in terms of moving me in the right direction towards academic goals, artistic pursuits, and etc.
i ended a rocky relationship, as many have described above – you reach a tepid state of existence with your significant other… the affection may or may not lessen, but your conversations, those annoying habits that become a kind of mind game with you (are you being heard, ignored? are you treated like a child, like a piece of furniture?), and how you kind of get out of sync or don’t seem to see each other anymore… that is a problem.
my ex and i converse occasionally as friends. what i’ve noticed sometimes, is that despite how much you may change as a person, it does not mean that the other person has changed, even though he/she may recognize things that you’ve changed… we all become older, wiser, more experienced, and we have different challenges day-to-day. it’s normal to feel out of the groove sometimes; but, i’d say, if month drags on to six months, and six months to one year… Just imagine all that you could lose from living your life? life is here, and we are all alive. you don’t have to be anyone you don’t want to be; if someone is holding you back from being your true self, you can be the volume in your life – just because the other person can’t hear or does not want to hear doesn’t mean anything… can you hear yourself? God has good plans for each person. we need to be compassionate to others, but also to ourselves – there are many things we need to do in our lives and good things we should experience as sentient human beings.
PS. i think i’m telling my ex… we’ll just have to be friends… one hard decision is enough – they say insanity is defined by doing the same thing that doesn’t work, several times to fix a problem.
no relationship can be intense all of the time. but,
November 24th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
do you need to have all ten? i have 4 5 7 8 9 and 10.
December 29th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
i have been seeing this guy for two years. he cheated on me twice in the beginning. now he claims he isnt at all. but for some reason i dont want him in a sexual way all the times that he does. last night it was almost 3 in the morning and i didnt want to so he turned the tv up loud so i couldnt sleep. what is going on? any comments appreciated.
December 30th, 2008 at 2:44 am
Friggin’ wow… I fall under #’s 1,2,4,7 and 8. Three years of my life gone to an A-hole. Can somebody please explain where the love went in my relationship. I’m 22, i live in one of the greatest cities in the world and i’ve dedicated the prime of life to an idiot… i guess it’s time.
February 13th, 2009 at 2:33 am
I have a boyfriend whom i’ve been dating for 10 months.
it seems like he still cares; he calls me frequently, asks what i did that day, holds my hand when we’re walking together (not as much but still does).. etc.
but it seems like he’s changed a lot.
Am i thinking too much??
I can relate to these points but I can’t dump him.
we’ve been through a lot and we fight every single day but when we’re not fighting, we’re like lovebirds.
it was our anniversary last week and usually when it turns 12:00AM, he would say happy anniversary but he didnt this time.
I don’t know what to do and even though some people might say “it’s that time,” I still can’t dump him. It’s easier said then done.
Please help me?
xox_jeanz_xox@hotmail.com
March 15th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
My boyfriend is slowly showing these signs and it is really frustrating me. I just love him so much, but I feel that he does not love me like I do him. I have had the flu all this weekend along with bronchitis and maybe even strep and my friends had to pry him to call me! We have been together for almost a year now and he does not show as much interest in me. He used to live and breathe for me and now he wants to play stupid video games and always tell me how hot other girls look, which totally degrades me. I just cant stop loving him though, I mean hopefully it will get tons better but honestly I just want the old him back. I wish he would come nurse me back to health and just call me to hear my voice in the middle of the night like he used to. I just want to be his princess again.
April 13th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Did you know that when you google for “How to dump your boyfriend”, this post comes up on the first page?
I think that’s a good thing, though. I… need to dump my boyfriend. I’ve been putting it off and putting it off and putting it off because everytime I DO work up the nerve to start the dump-speech, something comes along and makes him declare “Wow, you’re MY GIRLFRIEND and you’re great!
” …how do you dump THAT? I’m gonna break the poor slobby layabout’s heart into tiny little pieces, that’s what I’m gonna do. I don’t wanna.
April 18th, 2009 at 8:52 am
To Lisdee:
I posted a new article based on your comments; how to break up. You can find it here: http://www.beyondjane.com/Relationships/How-to-Break-Up.656287.
May 3rd, 2009 at 5:15 am
i think we don’t need boyfriends if we can’t sacrifice for them…
May 6th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
um… me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 5 months and i cant stand him anymore!! he never talks to me anymore!! he says the stupidest things too!! there is one problem though…. i am starting to fall for his best friend!! i am afraid that if i dump my boyfriend that the person i am crushing on wont want to be my friend anymore!!!! What should i do?
May 8th, 2009 at 7:52 am
Wow, I have alot of these problems..my boyfriend used to be the sweetest most caring guy in the world and made me very happy, now i dont ever want to sleep with him..just looking at him makes me mad and when i try to tell him about my feeling he just says it makes him really mad that I would even think like that instead of reasuring me that he really does love me and want to be with me I will sit there and cry about my feelings for him and he will just ignor me and say “I dont even know what you are crying about”.. he works monday through friday and when he does come home from work at like 4 pm he would rather sit upstairs and listen to music rather than spend time with me. I dont know what to do…
May 11th, 2009 at 12:20 am
My boyfriend does the exact same thing when i tell him how I feel he gets really upset and just closes up to me, when i cry because i feel impotent to get through him or when he doesn’t understand me..he gets even more upset.I don’t know if calling,chatting or texting other girls in an indecent way counts as cheating but he’s done that and well I just cant get that betrayal out of my mind. i am afraid he will do it again sometime and i don’t want to waste my time. when i know i can be with someone else who does appreciate me. Do breaks really work?
I don’t know what to do I dont even like feel like doing it anymore he always wants to have sex and it has happened that we only do it like 3 times a month..I really never feel like doing it. Am i not in love with him anymore?
May 11th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Well im not experiencing none of those problems, im jus missin all da romanace. ive being with this guy for a year and a half. All my friends fancy him which is flattering coz hes wit me!!! The first 6 months were amazing he made me feel great, my heart would miss a beat evert time i was near him. Now i dont feel that no more i miss the excitement of the first kiss, n getting 2 know each other. Is that a gud enough reason 2 dump him???????
HELP…….
May 23rd, 2009 at 4:24 am
I have been with a guy from the 2005 to present he has done nothing but to trat me unfair. We use to connect but not anymore, we do not live together and everytime iask him why has he not introduce me to his parents he said the time is not right when he his going to look for his family he does not bring me he says i’m too beautiful and his bro might like me. He has always critize me and he doesn’t know how to give a compliment he only speaks of bad things. He got be pregnant in 08 and i had a miscarriage due to him he continues to blame me for the baby and has treated me even more unfair . I have tried to break free from him many times but he keeps showing up and claims that he loves me. One out of the many times i broke up with him he began to stalk me for months. This is more than a good enough reason to dump him but i have so many times. How can i get him out of my life for good?
May 24th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
Well yh im a gay guy and thts helped me alot esepcially number 8 coz tht how i feel wih my bf thnx
May 29th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
I have been with my boyfriend for three years now. I am 22 years old and he is 24. My boyfriend is a great guy in many respects. He would never cheat on me, flirt with another girl, or even come close to wanting out of our relationship. We are both musicians. We have a lot in common when it comes to our carriers and we met while we were in our undergraduate in NYC, where we still live. I feel like the biggest problem in our relationship is his selfishness and interest in very little outside of his carrier. I often feel as though we are in a long distance relationship, and living in new york city, the subway makes it possible to be able to get to each other very easily. He talks primarily about what he does every day and takes little interest in what I do, unless I make it a point that he did not ask. I am very social and he is not. He has made little interest to get to know nay of my friends, though expects me to always be there with his (his friends are great, I have no problem getting along with them). His mother loves me, so much that I feel as though she takes me to dinner and buys me gifts on holidays because she knows he does not, or claims he just is “too busy.” On our two year this past year he got tickets to a show, nice attempt! Then forgot he had to paly a concert and asked me if I would mind going with his mother to the show (why should I had been surpirsed?) He has never bought me flowers, or a card and has missed most holidays (perhaps this is selfish of me to bicker about?) When I get upset about these kinds of things, or his complete disregard for my schedule (because his is so demanding
/) he tells me that, and I quote, “That your problem not mine.” He gets VERY defensive if I try to tell him how I feel and after three years I only want him to hear me out. If I do get “through” to him, he changes for the time being and ends up reverting back to his own ways soon enough. It is the same story and it is unfortunate that I am getting bored and lonely. I was sick this week and spent five days in bed, not leaving my apartment. He made one apperiance over the week and was on the computer the entire time and went home after the movie I was watching ended. Do I stick around and see if we grow together. Or do I realize that after three years he will not change 
( ????
June 14th, 2009 at 6:47 am
REPLY TO decisions decisions…………
i knw wat ur goin thru…iv been wit my guy 4 a yr an a half…. n ive realised now he’ll never change…. so ive decided 2 ave some space apart…i never call or arrange 2 meet up like i used 2 i’ve left it all 2 him, n i find dat wen im soo busy wit my own life he shows more interest…. but wen im always on da phne 2 him or wit him every oda weekend…. there isnt enough tym 4 him 2 miss him…..so i disappear for a few days every week,…… n he starts goin CRAZY for me….
u shuld really try it, it works wonders….
gud luck n if that DONT work u shuld let it b n move on 2 sumin betta!!….
let me knw hw u gt on….
June 25th, 2009 at 10:23 am
Ladies, if you need more information, you can check out my new article. http://beyondjane.com/relationships/twelve-reasons-why-you-allow-your-man-to-cheat-on-you/.
July 4th, 2009 at 7:12 am
This post was really life-changing for me. I have been with my man for nearly two years now, but the last 6 months I have been unhappy and depressed most of the time. And I know he loves me, but I really just feel like a piece of furniture around him. Guess he is one of those emotionally unavailable men – but it makes me really unhappy.
I got at least 6 or 7 out of 10 here, but I think the first point here was really spot on. My man does not walk that extra mile to say the least….
Would you say a man cares about you who has in two years never bought you flowers or a present (not even for your birthday. For christmas I got my first present – a DRILL – you know one of those home tools for DIY/decorating. Yes, I was as suprised as you guys. When did I ever give the impression that I wanted a drill for christmas?).
I am not one of those girls who need to be treated and spoiled, but come on! We all deserve a LITTLE attention!
Another thing is that when he talks I am so bored I could die.
I clearly need to break up, but every time I gather my resolve and starts talking he kind of twists my words so that I end up feeling guilty and almost like everything is really my fault…
What do I do?
July 6th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
im not alowed to nag so i stop than he still says i am and i know im not he calls me a dog and does no cleaning his never happy and all i do is make sure he is im 8 months pregnant no way
July 16th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
I really appreciate this post — unfortunately, most of the signs apply to my boyfriend & I but, I\’ve known for awhile now I need to leave. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a 1/2 years and we have a house together; we\’ve been living together since September of 2006… I\’m originally from a town that\’s an hour away from where we live so if I leave him I\’ll have to move back with my parents and bring all 5 of our animals with me and find a new job. My boyfriends family also lives about 10-15 min away from my parents and his sisters have told me numerous times that I should leave him…. I know, I\’m a dumb ass but, I just can\’t find the strength to do it. He is HORRIBLE to me, he does nothing but get drunk every single night and tell me how he doesn\’t love me and has been looking around for other girls but, when he\’s sober the next morning he tells me how much he LOVES me and doesn\’t want me to leave? WTF? is he psycho?! I just don\’t know what to do or how to escape.
July 31st, 2009 at 1:52 pm
I’m not sure that this is even a problem. It’s a really long story, so I’ll try to shave it down. Basically my boyfriend and I had a pretty rough start. He was still hung up on his ex and we did a ‘let’s be friends’ thing a few times. I cared for him, but he needed time, and that was fine as I was healing from the breakup of a 21 year marriage. He was finally able and willing to try a ‘relationship’ with me about a month after finding out that his ex was in a serious relationship. That was a year ago. Now his ex is single again, and she’s clinging to his family. I’m not sure what contact there has been between the two of them because he probably won’t tell me or be honest if I ask outright. What do you think.
August 22nd, 2009 at 5:05 am
geeze… most of these apply to me.. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we’ve had our ups and downs as any relationship does but now I just can’t put up with him anymore. When he gets home from work I don’t even want to look at him, when he calls me I just ignore it, he keeps his phone and computer a secret because I’m known to snoop (and find things – the reason for previous break ups years ago). I understand that he keeps his phone and computer pass away from me, but if i snoop and find stuff and then u keep it more of a secret then the trust level goes down. My father was recently in hospital and I had to fly to see my family and my boyfriend was supposed to come the day after me, instead he got drunk the entire weekend and has still not asked me to this day how my dad is. I suffer from depression and was on medication but some how (i dont know why or how) he talked me out of taking that medication because supposedly depression isn’t real and it’s just a state of mind and i should snap out of it. (you can tell he is very caring). He is one of the most selfish and inconsiderate people I know. He will only help me do something if it will benefit him. He very rarely if ever goes out of his way for me. He works alot and though we live together we dont spend much time together (he works from home) and when he does make leisure time for himself it includes getting absolutely hammered with his friends with no consideration for me or my life or even thinking about spending that time with me. I’m going to break up with him and shatter his heart because he is too stupid to know he is a terrible boyfriend, even when you tell him.
my main issue is that i don’t have any family in this city that i can go stay with if i leave him. I have no where to go and it’s just another reason not to leave him…I have never disliked him as much in the 10 years I’ve known him than I do right now.
October 29th, 2009 at 1:24 am
I was rushed to hopsital this week with a severe asthma attack – never suffered from it before so you can imagine how scarey it was for me.
Meanwhile my boyfriend who is away staying with his parents and his kids from his first marriage is still busy having fun.
He told me he would take an extra week off work when he comes back after his holiday to look after me!? When I told him I’d be better by then he said ‘well we’ll do nice things’.
Unbelievable!
I too can’t go anywhere – what do you do then?
November 22nd, 2009 at 5:19 pm
when i first met him i thought he was the cutest thing..
but now only 2months later i cant stand him..
everything he does just annoys me..
i feel like just slapping him and dumping him on the spot
sometimes.. but we have class together and i dont want it to
be awkward if i tell him i just wanna be friends..idk..
instead of turning me on he just turns me off with evrything he says and does.. i want to dump him but i feel like im trapped..
November 25th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I love all you ppl who posted. I have been with my bf for 4 yrs and we are currently on a “break” we live together and we constantly fight all the time. He one day got so fed up with me that he left and went to stay at his moms. He only calls when he knows im out having fun. I love him SO much much! Although im not sure if im really IN love with him or if im just afraid to be alone and so used to always having him there… i do love having the space and I freedom. But at the end of the night still wind up thinking of him. Its hard to let go for sure but we just get along so unbelieveably well that i have never ever felt this way about anyone. Im trapped/confused/scared I need some major advice!!
December 1st, 2009 at 1:08 pm
i belive all of these are very true…i looked this up just for my friend…and she needs to break up with him like i told her to but hes in the middle of class and hes bout to walk out…there both crying…he keeps saying “no baby dont go i love you nicole ________” we dont know what to do!!!!
December 3rd, 2009 at 8:28 pm
For the past 6 months, I have been in a relationship with a man that has literally taken me on an emotional rollercoaster. He looks good on paper (e.g., tall, master’s degree, never been married, no children, respectful, hard-working, etc.), but once you scratch the surface, I have come to realize that this man is an EXPERT at avoiding commitment. If I stay, I will be his prey, and he will simply move on with his life. One day, he acts like I matter, then the next day, he acts like he’s not in a relationship! He has never hit me, or cursed me, yet I feel that the relationship is going no where. He is 41 years old, has never been married, and from what he says, is NOT discussing our future together. I realize that he’s a selfish, emotionally unavailable commitment phobe, so I have dumped him via email! The weird thing is that now that I have kicked him to the curb, I am A LOT more productive in my career! It was CRYSTAL CLEAR to me that he was just no good for me! I deserve better and will get it! Ladies, if you find yourself with a man and you have a twinge of doubt about his intentions, save yourself future heartache and dump him!
December 6th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
If you still need more information about recognizing a bad relationship, I have a new article. http://beyondjane.com/relationships/dating/10-more-signs-you-should-dump-your-boyfriend/
December 8th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
emm… well, i m in relationship since a year…
n nw ma love is no longer in india,its been 6 months that he flew to canada . he got p.r for canada… but,he still calls everyday while goin to work,talk s nt that long as before ofcourse .. but,before when he was in india there was time when d months passed by n there was no sign of conversation..
but,love rekindled again.. sounds funny..
n nw i think i should end up all this stuff…
he shows some of the above signs.. well,at the same time we are best of pals.. i m confused.. wat 2 do…
December 8th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
HALF of this stuff is true.. its my fault it’s gotten out of hands.. in the back of my mind ive always known i didnt reaallyy love him or he wasnt REALLY the one. But even though he may not look after my feelings always, or tell me important things..like about his family, i feel trapped and lots of time unhappy..mostly wiht myself i think.. id ont like ho i am ll the way when im with him, and sometimes i cant stand the sight of him….
he still loves me. and ALWAYS wants to see me… i know i need to end things. its going to be SO hard after. and i have a feeling he’s going to try and fight for me, which will make it even harder. i just sometimes cant wait til how FREE i’m going to feel! i hope. timing is everything. im waiting til after christmas break, i think. it may be a good time to get over him? so hard… anyways, i love the post sorry this is so long.
December 15th, 2009 at 7:34 am
I’m so happy I found this online!! It has helped me realize that my boyfriend will never change. Never! I can relate to 1,4 & 7 ( only 4 though when he angers me because of his inconsiderate behaviour, which, sadly, is all too often!) I’m 22 and he will be 31 very soon but I cannot start 2010 with him. Although, I’m well aware it is Christmas, New Year and his birthday all within a matter of weeks – I can’t start to take this into account when he has never really taken how I feel into any of his actions. When we met back in 2007, it was great but even now, when I look back, I can see signs/ alarm bells! Christmas is something he has ever done in a big way, or at all ( I don’t ever get presents from him) due to family relgion on one side. Everything was made on his decision. I felt like my opionion or how I felt about a situation never actually counted for anything. I am really social and love being out ( I live in London) but he is happy to stay in, do nothing, not spend money (another issue) and generally make up excuses for not ever going out. He is always angry about something (his flatmates think he is angry and miserable!). I’ve even bored myself of talking about it to friends so….its’ definitely time I moved on!!! Thanks to all comments
December 15th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
me and my boyfriend been together 4 10 months we haven’t talk about sex he doesn’t like describing sex and putting in a sentence expect if describes a opposite gender my parnets keep wondering if i talk about yet we haven’t
December 18th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Before going out with my boyfriend I was the happiest I’d ever been, I loved being single. However I also found it fun to date random guys. Unfortunately it turne into a relationship that I wasn’t really serious about and he was. Before I knew it I was introduced to parents, grandparents etc. He annoys the hell out of me now with sexist jokes and his arrogant attitude towards lots of people. I’m going to do it after January I think. Thanks for this article!
December 19th, 2009 at 2:07 am
I met my beautiful and musically talented boyfriend a year ago. I lived in Ohio and he lived in aricona. We were so in love! We even shared the exact same birthday. He sold his car and his furniture and moved to Ohio with me. We lived there for 6 months and we were perfect. We eventually moved to Arizona together and since then it’s been a bumpy ride. He is a very sweet boy but he has a minimum wage job which barely helps me pay bills, he gets upset with me when I stress over money. He has never bought me flowers or anything cliché but I love that stuff. He accuses me of only caring about material things and money when really I just want to be pampered just a little. I take care of him, I take care of our house, and I work fulltime. I don’t like going out and drinking so he expects me to drop him off and pick him up late, if I don’t he makes me feel very guilty. Over all I just feel like I am dating a little boy, I know I am the best thing that has happened to him and he helps me stay emotionally stabl. Unfortunately I feel like my life is going no where with him and I can’t save any money if I have to take care of both of us. I love him so much, but we are both only 20… Should I just calm down and not act so serious? Or should he grow up? Idk which one of us is in the wrong, I am just hurting waiting for him to notice my efforts. Please offer advice. lunaequus@live.com
December 20th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
http://beyondjane.com/relationships/dating/10-more-signs-you-should-dump-your-boyfriend/
December 27th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
I let a relationship drag on for years because I was afraid of being alone and never finding someone else. Mind you I’m in my 40’s so the selection of available men out there is very limited. Finally I got to the point (as mentioned above) where just the sight of him made me physically ill and nothing he did could remotely please me or get me excited. I dumped him and he still kept coming back. We went to dinner so many times as I kept thinking maybe a spark would come back. Finally got so boring I ended it for good. Figured if I’d rather have dinner with a box of rocks than him I needed to end it forever!
December 31st, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Iv been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, I am 17 and he is 19. And throughout our relationship he has been very controlling. He has cheated on me several times, one girl said they had sex but he denies it all together, and the rest of the stuff it was just him saying stuff to them. But now he hides his phone from me, he never wants to speak to me and he wants me out the house all of the time (we live together since April) I cant live like this I am so unhappy, but when I say to him ‘its over’ and try and talk to him he just laughs in my face and tells me to shut up. And basically just takes me as a joke. I want to leave him but I think I wont be able to live without him, and I feel that I wont be able to find someone else because ever since I have been with him I havent had a social life and it has really crushed my confidence.
What should I do?
HELP!
January 4th, 2010 at 5:18 pm
Nice Post! Those are some great reasons to dump a Boyfriend.
http://www.infobarrel.com/25_Reasons_for_Dumping_your_Boyfriend
January 7th, 2010 at 4:58 pm
cheated on me once..the very first month we started dating. He begged and i took him back. Then he started to become extremely abusive ; both verbally and physically. He used to swear at me all the time (calling me bit**,Etc) for no apparent reason. Sometimes i was blue..sometimes i was depressed. My life no longer made sense to me. He started looking around on the net, trying to seduce girls on facebook and dating sites. He has always lied to me. when i discovered his real face, i fell sick and landed in a clinic. He came to see me and announced me that he would be going abroad..i was devastated. He came back after a few days and begged. i did the mistake of melting. we spent 2 and a half years together. He treated me like shi* throughout all this time. I have been patient and forgiving and tolerated all the abuse. But yet, yesterday he dumped me like trash. Dont let the same thing happen to you. This world is still uncivilized. Beware
January 9th, 2010 at 3:24 am
This article is very well done. I’ve been on the fence for ages.. but this guy was using me. Not for sex, so I thought he was decent, but for everything else in a risky unprotected way. He told me a while ago that he’s moving in 10 months and would have moved last year if he had gotten a job I heard nothing about. Obviously he’s leaving and has no plans for me, but he’s too much of a coward to be a man, do the right thing and let me go. I’m 21. I could have done a lot worse but I also could have done better. I feel sorry for women like myself in the modern world. Our emotional softness and propensity to love is coldheartedly exploited all the time.
January 15th, 2010 at 3:03 am
I have been with my long term boyfriend for 7 years going on 8 years but he still has not propose to me. I am so lost and confused in why every time I talk marraige he changes the subject. We have a 3 year old little girl and latelty I have been thinking of leaving him because of his fear of marriage or whatever it may be but he knows how much this means to me. I don’t understand. Should I leave him or should I stay with someone who makes me feel bad and also has cheated on me in the past?
January 15th, 2010 at 1:51 pm
None of these apply.. I love my boyfriend, but his parents hate me and i feel like i can’t take it anymore. It hurts me so much. My boyfriend loves me, it would crush him if i ended it. I feel so trapped.
January 15th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
I’ve been dating this guy for 6 months. He was separated from his wife for 2.5 yrs. i was there through the divorce and was there for him in every way. i needled him to help me move into my new apartment and he tells me he’s spending the day with his son and the only way he will come over, is if I’m dying! – should i break it off??he’s done something like this b4. i was in my home country but on the opposite end if the country. i didn’t know anyone. my girlfriend was supposed to pick me up, she didn’t. i had to sleep on another friend’s sofa. anyway, he didn’t care that i was stranded, he said “i knew you’d be ok”- should i break it off??
January 17th, 2010 at 12:07 am
Oh, goodness. These signs make me cry. My boyfriend of over 5 1/2 years broke up with me because I would no longer have sex with him. We\\\’ve had our ups and downs but I\\\’ve always managed to be the elastic band that held us together. I love him so much, it kills me. I have never pictured my life without him and I don\\\’t know how it\\\’s possible. He has hurt me so much but also loved me like no other. I feel so empty.
January 17th, 2010 at 2:58 am
Broken – U’ll heal – just takes time. If he dosen’t appreciate u then u should move on! I knw it hurts like hell. Keep busy and enlist friends and family. Stay strong and take ur power back!
January 18th, 2010 at 11:36 pm
umm.. my boyfriend had a serious relationship before me and we’ve been dating for over a year now , and shes constantly calling him and when i answer she doesnt care how can tell if they have anything going on or if he still has feelings for here . i need help please
January 20th, 2010 at 2:45 am
My bf of 3 years says he is still loves with me but mentions he is unhappy with me and might wanna leave.I just don’t know what else to do as I have given these entire 3 years to commit to him and have done everything in my power to help him when he had rough times.He on the other hand sometimes treats me like he doesn’t care about what I feel even though I tell him the things that are bothering me or things that are important to me.He makes me cry every time and doesn’t even bother to console me or reassure me or tell me everything’s gonna be allright.
I,on the other hand always supports him and gives him advice when he needs it.How can you fix things who shuts down emotionally each time there is an issue between us?How does he expect to solve the problems we have without communicating? I have changed a lot because of him so why can’t he change even a little bit for me.Why can’t he put a little more effort in commiting to me?Isn’t that what I deserve after putting up with all his problems that I had to deal with too?
What happened to the love that he felt for me before?Isn’t it worth fighting for? He says he’s getting tired of the relationship and is thinking now.Honestly I’m getting tired too cos I keep giving and giving and get so little back.But my nature is to not give up unless its really done for because there is still love between us.I really feel hopeless.
January 20th, 2010 at 1:11 pm
Madison – u can’t live like that, wondering evryday, is he or isn’t he having an affair – don’t go looking for something, u just may find it. Just be when ur around him and live, if u see strong evidence that he is cheating then u leave!
Bubblekiss – u r officially a doormat and he is toying with u because he knws u’ll put up with anything he does. U train him to treat u like crap!!!! Ask urself – if u just met him and he’s acting like he is now – would u date him?
TO ALL WOMEN – TAKE UR POWER BACK!!!!
January 25th, 2010 at 6:09 pm
so my best friend lets call her jane (not her real name) and her bf we\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\’ll call hiim bob (not his name) are dating. bob is mean to her. and me and our friends. so bob is my ex and i have had bad expierecnes with him. he wouldn\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\’t hang out with her bcuz me and my friends were with her. so she was mad. she says she is close to breaking up with bob but she wont she keeps giving him second chances! i need help how do i get them to break up i dont wanna soo jane get hurt. so how do i break them up!? we are in middle school by the way.. help me plz.
January 25th, 2010 at 11:00 pm
You all think you are perfect!
Do U ever ever think that you might have done something wrong, instead of blaming him?!
No one is perfect, its all about seeing the inperfect one perfectly!
You won’t know you had something good until U lose it!
Treat him right and he will treat u better instead of moaning! U all know that in every relationship, at first, everything seems to be great, then later things get worse! Come on, lets face the truth….
Life is not a fairy tale, theres no Romeo and Juliet. Life is what we make it.
January 26th, 2010 at 11:37 am
You all know the difference between right and wrong. You all knw the difference between what makes you feel good and what doesn’t. If it doesn’t feel right, ask urself “If I just met him and he did this, would I date him”. You will find ur answer – don’t be a doormat – u train someone how to treat u – if it’s bad what’s the incentive to change!
February 6th, 2010 at 7:19 am
my bf & i hav been dating for 2 yrs now, unfortunately hes only 16 &im 18. his dad is strict. he lives 10 mins away frm me but whenever were supposed to hang out something “comes up” & plans fall thru, i feel like he dosent try to see me because i usually see him 1nce a week. he just tells me to stop complaining. i always tell hm i just want to spend time together. i love him SOOOOO much hes my 1st bf, but im strting to think maybe thts all, maybe my feelings are just intensified because i want it to work out sooo bad. wht should i do??
February 8th, 2010 at 12:55 am
i been with my bf for 3 yrs already and i wanted to kno if it could also be if they dnt celebrate anniversaries or valentines day or any occasion where a couple should be together..and also the fact that they talk about u physically wanting u to change how u look also tht he doesnt show tht he wants to soend time with me tht i have to call him to go out or do w.e…could those be signs tht i shouod leave him
February 15th, 2010 at 3:07 am
You definitely dump person who’s like this… If they are not giving you what you want, why suffer when there are other people who can love and treat us the way we want it..
February 16th, 2010 at 9:57 am
My boyfriend of 3 years break up with me a week ago.. He used to say I am his angel.. He really shows he loves me a lot cos he constantly give me his time, always give me what I wanted and is very affection even consider marriage. The reason he ended our relationship was becos we always fighting over trival matters and he hated that.. Now I am no longer his angel.. Over the week when he mention the break up I was devastated, couldn’t imagine life with him.. Tried all ways to change his mind to no valid.. We are living together with his family it will take awhile for me to find a place and don’t have much friends as I was very committed during our relationship.. He given some help and even cuddle me to sleep every night ( I cried really badly). I really don’t wish to go.. HELP
February 17th, 2010 at 1:25 am
ive been with my bf for 8 months we used to think we could get married and live happily ever well not anymore he gets mad at me for every little thing when we try to talk one of us just walks off.i dont know any more the bad part is though i love his fam there awsome but my family loves him ahhhhhhhh.i dont want to hurt our family by breaking up .part of me still loves him kinda and part of me doesnt i dont know what to do any more.the thing is i think he still loves me i dont know if he does or not but i dont want to break his hard.he has an anger issue i think .somedays he gets on my nerves somedays he doesnt its like a rollercoaster.like a couiple days ago my dog died and he says “well what do you want me to do”like he didnt even care then once his sisters dog died and shes like a baby and he didnt want to be there he wanted to be with his friends his dad said he had to leave all he did was throw a fit like a bay and almost broke his hand.what do i do!!!!!
February 17th, 2010 at 3:21 pm
My boyfriend and I broke up 1,5 month ago.. it\’s been really hard for me to move on since I\’ve been blaming myself. It\’s the worst thing I can do but I know I\’ve made mistakes. Though when I was in the relationship I felt like he made me act clingy and get annoyed with little things, cause I was sick of him not giving me anything while I was always putting up with his laziness and his careless behaviour. We used to be so in love, he lived with me for two months after he finally moved to my country after about 8 months of dating (we only spoke online and saw each other like 3 weeks in total) And it was suppose to be amazing.. but he became so selfish. I helped him out with everything and he was always just eating, being a lazy fat ass and sitting around my house all day long. If I ever wanted something from him he would never do it, we always had to take \”walks\” cause he wanted to smoke weed and I was always so scared my parents would find out. He was the whiniest person ever when we were with my friends, he had something to say about everyone. After two months of him living in my house and basically dedicated my room to himself, it was my birthday and he didnt even bother to buy me a present, or a freaking flower. I was heartbroken, I made him feel home and did everything for him, and he couldn\’t even buy me a present. He was always playing with his phone at the most inapropriate moments. When he moved into his own apartment he told me he didnt find it nesecary to be with me every day and to be so \”sappy\” cause we had \”passed that stage now\” He had only been with me for 2 months! What the hell. I started to feel insecure and he started pushing me away, which made me act needy and paranoid. He also went out partying 2 times a month and used drugs, which made me very upset everytime he did it. I just wanted to feel loved again but he was not the same person he used to be and he broke up with me. A month later we got back together but he told me he didnt want commitment, and he said he was not able to tell me he loved me cause everything changed. I accepted that, but after a month of being together again we still had not said the word LOVE once, and it made me so sad. We used to tell each other we loved each other as much as we could because we FELT that way. And now he wasn\’t sure. He did have sex with me and told me he loved my body, which always made me wanna cry cause in my head it felt like he was just using me. I hated feeling like he didn\’t love ME, but just the sex. When he went to visit his parents I was suppose to come but he told me it would be better if I didnt come cause he wanted to spend time with his family. I was mad cause it had been our plan to go together for ages. I must admit I had been a bitch while he was gone but can you blame me? With all that pressure and not knowing if he loved me/ wanted to be with me at all. While he was gone we broke up over msn cause he told me he was going to spend his new years eve using coke with his friends instead of spending it with me after not being together for 2 weeks. Do you guys think I did the right thing? I keep blaming myself for being too needy but I know he wasn\’t the right guy for me.. I just can\’t deal with this pain and blaming myself hurts so much.
February 21st, 2010 at 9:56 am
I\’ve been dating my boy for 1 year and 7 months and he hasnt had a cellphone to get around to. I don\’t know if I should end it because he\’s such a sweetheart , treats me incredible yet we haven\’t spoken in 1 week he doesn\’t call me everday I know he can\’t but does this mean he could be seeing somebody else??
What do you think, why would he do
this??!
email me :
bryceydagutierrez@yahoo.com
February 22nd, 2010 at 12:55 am
I’m having boyfriend troubles too; one day I want to break up with him, and the next I don’t. We’re in a long distance relationship, but we talk every day through AIM. Whenever we talk for more than an hour, though, he starts to really annoy me. Sometimes he won’t remember something that seems really important to me, and sometimes he just says stuff that makes me want to punch him. Okay, that may be a bit extreme, but still.
I’ve been thinking about breaking up with him for a while now, but can’t decide whether or not I want to do it. I know I’ll feel horrible: he loves me and actually wants to marry me someday. We’re both in college, so it’ll be a while, though. But I’m certainly not ready for a relationship like that. Also, I’ve always heard that you shouldn’t marry below your intelligence level, and I really don’t think he’s smart enough to keep up with my usual conversation. That sounds horrible, but it’s true. I’m an English major, and he fails all of hie English courses. He’s bad at all things school, although he’s great with computers. I just don’t know how it’ll work out…I see his parents, who aren’t the happiest, and they’re exactly like us. His mom has multiple degrees and now teaches, and his dad never graduated college and does telecommunications. I don’t want to end up like them.
Since I don’t have a good reason for breaking up with him–he’s never cheated or lied to me or anything–, I don’t know what to say to him. I don’t want to break his heart, but I want to be free to find another man. And I hate to use the “It’s not you, it’s me,” line.
February 27th, 2010 at 10:26 am
Me and my boyfriend have been on and off for 2 years. We met at school and during that time I eventually moved in with him. I have been living with my boyfriend for a little bit over a year now. Some of the signs listed above I can relate to.
Me and him argue all the time, he calls me names and then turns around and says the sweetest things. I have to say though the fights keep getting worse. Everytime I am closer and closer to leaving him. I have told myself plenty of times that I need to leave him and that I was going to, but I can’t. I love him with all of my heart and I know this could be a good relationship but as of now it isn’t going anywhere. Everyone I know tells me I need to leave him and they can see I am not happy. But I can’t do it! It is fustrating but why am I wanting to stay? I need to be a strong person and just say I am leaving but it is a lot harder to actually take action. For the sex part we use to be very active but now it barley happens and when it does I don’t feel the same as I did before. (I moved from the states to Sweden for him) Since I got here it hasn’t been the same..
I don’t want to hurt him and I don’t want things to end badly but in our case if it does end I am sure it will be bad. I always think to myself to that if I end it will I regret doing it?
February 27th, 2010 at 11:52 pm
My boyfriend n I hav been together 8yrs 1 son together. We use 2 watch porn 2 gether n b very sexual but 4 about 1 yr he rather jus jerk off every day when I go to class. N then hes so drained I cnt get any Im tired of asken 4 n him goen 2 sleep
February 28th, 2010 at 5:16 am
I was in one of the worst relationships ever about a year ago.
Every one of these and more.
Now, I’m in the best relationship I’ve ever been in.
If you’re in a bad relationship, end it.
It will open new doors.
February 28th, 2010 at 12:33 pm
i have been going out with my boyfriend for over 3 years and i have a child to him the problem is that i love him somtimes and most of the time i hate him being around also small things annoying me like when he would kiss and hug away at me when im watching TV or doing homework. i have said to him lots of times that i wanted to break up and he would always cry and make me feel really bad so i give him another change but we still always fight after that i hate being like this because i used t really love him and think he was stunning and got butterflys when i seen him but now it is not like that. one of the most problem also is is that i really want to move out of my mums house and to get a house of my own and most time i want him to come and live with us but im scared that me and him will not get on. Please help me and give me advice Thanks…
March 7th, 2010 at 11:03 pm
Okay, I thought I would speak up finally.
My name is Hayley and I have just turned 20, my partner is 21 now, I live in Sydney Australia. We share the same house, big mistake, because even if I wanted to leave him, I couldn’t afford the rent, as we pay $580 a week.
I have been very depressed lately, over the past 6 months, he treats me like shit (to be honest), he tells me “your so stupid” “why would you even think that Hayley” he rolls his eyes at me the moment I open my mouth. He is so verbally abusive, we barely have sex anymore. I just can’t bring myself to do it, because he has repeatedly hurt me over and over again.
My sexual desire has gone, I don’t know if it is gone completely but the flame is gone. I roll over, I say I’m tired, I just ignore him. He is beginning to annoy me in every way, I don’t even want to kiss him. other men have been taking notice in me since I moved to Australia, and my partner doesn’t like that at all. But the truth is my partner isn’t offering my any moral support, in anything I do. If I cry he rolls over and goes to sleep, he doesn’t give me a hug and see how I am doing, I came home yesterday and he ignored my existence.
I feel trapped, and I don’t feel like I love him in the same way as I used too. People are jumping at me left right and center, I have men telling me that he’s stupid for not wanting me anymore, and I am gorgeous, and he is an idiot.
There was a guy I got a little bit to intimate with on FB, because I was feeling neglected weak and depressed. So we began flirting, I told my Partner of course how I was feeling, and he said “If I ever see him on the streets, I am going to drag him into an alley way and beat the F**k out of him”. I didn’t expect this response from him. I used to prize him, love him in every way, now I just purely can’t stand him!
Also, he is a social retard, all he does is play the Xbox, and smoke pot, he can’t have a conversation with anyone unless it’s about politics or History. He can’t even talk to anyone! I think he is crazy, all he cares about is his Degree, and HISTORY! He is a financial prude, and gets angry if I spend money, gets up me about everything, and yes I tick 10/10 on that list!
Advice, what can I do about this Maniac?
March 13th, 2010 at 8:30 pm
it’s 3am and i’m still awake.. thinking of my life i have with my bf of 10 months..i’m older than him. he is 26 and i’m 31. i’m just looking for answers whether i’m just overreacting or he is not that into me anymore.. the story is my bf work requires 12 hrs/day and their company only gives them off every 14 daysto make the matter worse he lives live 45 minutes away from me and i can’t see him at night coz of our curfews here where i work so we barely see each other anymore although he does call me every night..content of the conversation is very formal “how’s your day, how’s work” same routine everyday. yesterday he exits to another country to fix his visa,hell be back tomorrow.. i tried to call his cellphone it says “its close” when finally he called me from the hotel he says that there was no signal which is totally bull coz i know it’s in roaming mode. and then early last night i was calling his hotel the receptionist told me he’s out.. i called 2x the last phone call i made was @ 12:30 am and she told me he just saw him got out again.. i am so furious.. he doesn’t even have the courtesy to call me back..maybe he is out clubbing for sure..
March 14th, 2010 at 3:16 pm
me and my boyfriend have been togeather almost 2 years. We got togeather when he was 17 and I was !6. Now im 18 and he will be 20 soon. I think he is really immature. He jus got his first job (4 months ago) and ive had the same first job for over a yearand a half. We were togeather a yr and a half and my parents and I had to pretty much force him to get a job. He still tries to bum money off me and blows his whole check like a week before he gets paid. This is our sr year in highschool and he doesnt look like he will graduate. I plan on going to college and trying to move out on my own and I wld like him to come with me but Hes 19 doesnt have a liscense or a car and doesnt kno how to manage his money and possibly wont graduate from school. Im also his primary ride to work so with out me he probaly wouldn have a job.Hes also been trying to save up for a car but tries to spend it on stuff he doesnt even need. He really needs to get his priorities straight. After graduation I plan on going to college and working But I wonr have time for school, work, and being his main taxi. Ive tried to break it off manyy times but something keeps stopping me. Any advice?
March 14th, 2010 at 10:42 pm
My guy and I have been together for over 2 years. We’ve been having problems for a few months now. He often blows off dates with me, or ignores my calls. I’ve went days without hearing from him before. And when i confront him about it, he plays it off like it’s no big deal. It makes me wonder if there’s someone else….Help?
March 21st, 2010 at 2:41 am
OMG thanks soo much I feel the exact same way well some days I love him other days he just gets on my nerves just by doing/saying stupid things. First off he doesn’t help with our 2 kids ages 2 & 1 because he works full time & Im home all day.. HELLO being a mom @ home is a full time job dear.. secondly he annoys me all the time for example he’ll talk to someone and well say WhoOo did you hear that she just slammedd you etc… but ughhss gets on my nerves i always say im going to leave and never end up doing it… I just don’t want my parents to know whats going on with our relationship he is the father of my kids…?? well thanks for thee list
March 26th, 2010 at 7:29 pm
I’m currently sitting in bed with my snoring boyfriend lying next to me. We’ve been arguing for ages – we have been together nearly 4 years, and moved in together last September. It’s not been easy – I have taken on all the financial strain because I knew he wouldn’t and I’m a bit of a control freak. Unfortunately now I see the end – I have not been able to control my psycho events (I’m not really psychotic, but some things make your blood boil when done time after time after time…) about the things he does. Basically, I am up and out to work for 7am, and I leave him snoring. I get home from work around 7pm, and he’s been home since 5pm. He’s always playing xbox with his mates, and most of the time he’s already had a couple of beers (extends to “drunk” normally later on in the evening). I come home and make his tea. The deal is that he is supposed to wash up, but I do it. He doesn’t do anything around the house, he leaves lights on, windows open and we can’t afford this place as it is. I am feeling like I have no way out – he is deluded that he can afford to stay in this same house when we couldn’t afford it between us. I don’t want him to fail, but I get the impression that he wants a mother not a girlfriend. All I want is an easy life where we spend time together and enjoy our life and make some plans, but we can’t because he’s always getting drunk. I can’t talk to him in a calm way because it’s always “I don’t want to talk about it now” so I end up bottling it up
I can’t afford to live on my own, but that’s not a good enough reason to stay. I’m so frustrated and sad about the whole situation because I wish he could just have a bit of respect for himself and me. He didn’t even buy me any Christmas presents last year, and he made me cry on my birthday by getting drunk and heckling people. He just makes me so sad because I love him but he’s acting like a child.
April 4th, 2010 at 12:54 pm
this is really good advice, breaking up is a complete nightmare. your head is all over the place.
April 15th, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Talk about relationships…. huh so sad, so happy etc. What to do when you have not talk to your boyfriend for a week and he doesn’t even like to talk. What to do????
April 19th, 2010 at 4:49 pm
I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly two and a half years now and he annoys the hell out of me! our whole relationship has been more bad than good but i’m just too much of a wimp to leave him. We’ve been on two breaks during our relationship but i’ve always gone running back to him because i feel like I can’t do any better. Sometimes we have great times but we mostly argue and his annoying habits get on my nerves so much. He messed me about in the beginning so i don’t feel like i can trust him, I feel like I’ve wasted the past two and a half years of my life with him ..but I wouldn’t have changed it for the world if that makes sense…I think it’s time for a change…i’m scared of hurting him:-(
April 20th, 2010 at 5:19 pm
OMG!! Leave leave leave. You are only letting these wasteful men take up good space that a replacement man could do with his eyes shut. You are on EARTH with (in fact) billions of potential partners out there. Why would you settle for doo-doo just for the sake of not breaking up?
If your boyfriend/girlfriend isnt making you happy – leave.
If your boyfriend/girlfriend is emotionally retarded – leave.
If your boyfriend/girlfriend is moreso interested with friends – leave!!
Jaysis leave leave leave lol
April 22nd, 2010 at 6:33 pm
It is a long distance love affair!He got a minor knee surgical operation (a cyst),I told him to take care of him but he said he was just OK!After a week I called him up,but he sounds like mad at me,then I sent an sms to explain my side but he doesn’t reply.I was so upset and no more communications between us!After 1 and a half month,he sent an sms saying “Hello,how are you now?”
I was shocked and broke my promise that I will never give him any calls but I can’t resist,I called him up and we talked several hours!He told me he was so depressed and thought that I changed my numbers and out of town for good! after that we met each other, we watched movies,we spend overnight in a beach resort,a little confrontation but he said,”I LOVE YOU” just to win me back and having a romantic moments in bed! I was so happy that night!He told me that he wants to live with me and do some business!Does he deserves seconds chance,or should I dump him?
April 26th, 2010 at 5:57 pm
well me and my boyfriend have been together for two weeks now and the feeling has just gone because i have meet someone else :/ what shall i do
April 28th, 2010 at 1:24 pm
@Cassidy – my ex-boyfriend wasn’t a drinker but apart from that he was a kid as well. My advice is.. RUN. Men like this never grow up. I can’t really afford my own place either so I’d rather stick with renting a room or something (that’s what I do now) because after more than 2 years of relationship I just couldn’t take it anymore. We never used to make any plans either, and he wasn’t a teenager, he’s 26. He was absolutely no help around the house, he couldn’t cook, would always listen to his music and really have no plans/ambitions for the future. He would also snore as hell and always play his games. At first it didn’t really bother me but at some point, after a relationship gets more serious it’s normal you want some assurance, plans together etc.. well this one was a fail. I know how hard it is to put a cross on a relationship and be strong enough to be the one to leave, however I’ve managed to do that and although I am still a bit sad it was definitely worth it… I too didn’t feel like being a mom/cooker/cleaner for a guy older than me…
May 2nd, 2010 at 12:45 am
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. I’m 20 and he’s 21. I’m originally from CA and he’s originally from TX. He moved to CA in 2005 and we met at the high school we both attended. He’s my first and only bf and I am his first serious gf. This past september, after enduring our first 2 years of college apart, i moved with him to TX. I had nothing but good feelings about the move. It has been 8 months since the move and I don’t know how I feel about my bf anymore. I feel as if I have so much growing to do as an individual. He has always been there to soften the blow when things got tough. He is good to me, always tells me he loves me, says that his happiness is dependent on mine. But I can’t even appreciate this anymore. I don’t feel affectionate, I get on him for the stupidest things. He tells me that if I need to be away for him for a while, he understands. How can I let this great guy go? Its not fair to him that I’m mean and depressed all the time. i feel that i need to be on my own, to stand on my own two feet for once. I don’t have many friends out here yet, money is tight, we live with his family, school is too expensive right now, and I feel like I’m having an identity crisis. should i leave him? just move out? move back home? perservere? i am in a very confused and unhappy state and i don’t know the right way to fix it.
May 2nd, 2010 at 8:50 am
I want my boyfriends best friend… Should that be up there? Or will it pass?
May 2nd, 2010 at 9:27 am
Rape bestiality incest buy guns.
The owner of this site is a moron who steals others content. Much of the content on this site is stolen! The rest comes from users dumb
enough to give away their content.
The internet is their free “All I Can Steal Buffet” lunch. They won’t be monitoring comments because responding back to their users would
require work. Realize he stole my friends article on this site because he is a lazy piece of shiit living in mommy and daddy’s basement at the
age of 40 while he gets rich from this new thing called the internet. Look at what I wrote mom!
Remember this person is a loser bum who probably screws his sister after he gets her drunk. An inbred piece of crap scum fukctard. Family
sex, incest and bestiality is a way of life for people like this.
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May 5th, 2010 at 4:16 pm
What if we have # 7 but thats it….
May 7th, 2010 at 5:31 am
Hello I\’m kinda fit into few of the things here.. I\’m a lady and I happen to be the one doing most of these to my boyfriend.. We are in along distance relationship. I love him so much but of recent I hate my self for loving him.. He hasn\’t done anything wrong.. We\’ve been in the r/ship for close to 2 years now and its clear that I wldn\’t see him for the next two years…. I didn\’t even call him on his birthday.. I am trying to get him to break up with me but he\’s not moved by that instead he feelos he\’s done something wrong to me. Thats making me act the way… I\’m so confused. I feel I\’m trapping him in this r/ship..I have made up my mind to bnreak up with him on saturday but stillo haven\’t got the heart……. He\’s such a joy.. I love him so much though.. But I want to break up with him….
May 7th, 2010 at 5:54 am
The second one isnt true.
im in a long distance relationship.
& we talk, all the time. but we dont
get too see each other much,
but we talk as often as we can
May 7th, 2010 at 7:01 am
& julia,
why dont you just dump him.
simple as that
May 11th, 2010 at 8:50 am
why does you bf act he no u and sometime come around u and stay with u and leave to go and see his firned i think he get someone be side me
May 12th, 2010 at 4:34 am
This was very helpful. I only had a few of the signs so now i no what me and my boyfriend need to work on to make our relationship work.
thank you
May 14th, 2010 at 9:11 am
i also have a bf for 8 months the first month im with him and then go out of the country, we have long distance relationship at first everything is ok we call and text each other, we miss each other later on i noticed that he doesnt even txt me anymore he just remember me if he wants something from me, and to tell u the truth hes asking money from me and i give also, when i cameback i thought everything is just ok weve been together for 1 day and after that he didnt call or txt me anymore hes always telling that hes just busy and thats the time when i was already anxious i dont know what is happening, i even saw some txt in hes cellphone saying i love you and then he said it was hes sister and of course i believe him and when we see each other again i ask whats the name of hes sister he said a different name not the name of that girl who texted him see how stupid i am? we finally broke up when we see each other wr just joking and i accidentally slapped him its the end he leaves me there in the street and i was tagging along with him saying sorry and hes already pushing me ignoring me and just walk away from me… thats the worst evrytime i think about it makes me really really mad because i lost my pride and eveything,,, its bullshiiiiit really bullshiit and i will not do it again, just wanted to forget about it completely u know i dont want to carry hunchbacks in my life i just wanted to be happy…. i feel like i did everything for him, and for only one mistake everything was already forgotten,,, lesson dont love to much maybe it is better to have a lot of boyfriends also for us to select and not all the time we are the one whos trying to adjust and wait for them,
May 14th, 2010 at 9:51 pm
hi, i am right now relating to all 10 of them… i dont know what to do? i love him soo much and i cant stand how ill feel if we part… pls somebody help me. lilebony15@yahoo.com
May 15th, 2010 at 2:45 pm
WOW! I was reading most of the things and well I’m a guilty party. I’ve been in a relationship for almost 3 years now and my boyfriend has done plenty to make me feel the way I do. He doesn’t respect me, from what people see in the relationship is that he uses me. He doesn’t take me ANYWHERE or doesn’t like taking me anywhere, don’t know if he is just embarrased of me or what. I try to make him happy by doing things for him but I can’t ever satisfy him. We have been through alot and it seems I’m the one always bailing us out through everything. He only wants the easy route through everything. Its always about him. He use to tell me he loves me like all the time now he doesn’t even say it anymore. He doesn’t even kiss me on the lips he kisses me on the forehead. I feel like his assistant most of the times. The times that I really needed him like being in the hospital who knows where he was. It hurts alot
May 16th, 2010 at 1:50 am
Very intersting article. It should be an eye opener for some people.
May 29th, 2010 at 4:40 pm
I have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months. I adore him with all my heart but he has been showing me all of these signs for the past 2 months. I am severly depressed and this adds on. It will tear me apart to break up with him beause I don’t want to be alone but WHY DOES HE DO THIS TO ME
I wonder why guys can’t just be straight out with us but have us play this game. It hurts us so much. I adore him but he is hiurting me. Plus we haven’t gone out since my birthday(March), he lives close to me, & he never calls me unless I do. He claims hes busy. Hes a full-time student but still he never takes 1 minute of his time to call me. I just don’t want to be alone suffering my self. I adore him. WHY ;(
June 6th, 2010 at 5:16 pm
Man, I answered yes to way too many of those questions..I already knew all of this, but having it out in front of you like that makes it feel a whole lot more serious. Ive been with my bf for almost 2 & half years and I love him with all of my heart, would do anything for him..etc and I don’t feel like it’s mutual anymore…
He basically treats me like crap 99% of the time, but when we do have a good day it’s amazing and I always let that one day outweigh the rest. I can’t find anyway for me to end up being happy..he’s the one I want to be with and the thought of me leaving him and him ultimately ending up with some other girl makes me crazy. When I try to talk about this shit or anything I’m feeling for that matter he gets upset and blocks me off or just hangs up on me and ignores my calls? WTF he really must not care how im feeling anymore…I hate this..why can’t a man realize a good thing when they got one..I don’t mean to brag, but I think I’m a pretty good gf.. I deal w/ the fact that he goes out almost every night, I clean his apartment, buy him ‘I saw this and thought of you’ gifts, send him nude pics just cause and I always want to have sex. I’m caring, loving, funny, cute ,I love video games and guy movies…really wtf?
June 8th, 2010 at 12:09 am
i am 16 and my name is samantha.;me and my boyfreind have been together around 2 1/2 years and have a goerges baby boy together.but hes changed…he used to say the sweetest things.and want to spend every secong together.he even almost got kicked out of school when we first got together cause he got caught texting me and they took his phone and he told the school to fuck off and left cause he wanted to b able to talk to me :^)
i dont know where this story is going i just felt like sharing some problems
but lately things r not as wonderful.is it just a bad time in the relationship or should i break it off ? he yells and argues with me constantly.calling me names and causing me to cry.of course he realizes he took it to far and apoligizes but it happens more than once a day..his father lives with us.he is always in his fathers room in the guest house.i get maybe 20 to 30 minutes a day begging him for time to spend with me.and he bitches about it…neither of us work so its not like we arent home all day.he wont watch his son.i mean i am sick like really sick and he wont watch his son.all he says is my dad smokes out there and leaves.my baby gets as much time with him as i do.and i dont appreciate it.i take responsibility at a young age so there is no reason he cannot.mothers day..my first mothers day.he gave me chocolates sweet :^) but i asked him to grab the jumper for our son so i cud shower before powwow and he started yelling at me about how i cant take more than 10 minutes…well he went outside to grab it and never came back.so after 10 minutes or so i waled out on the porch and he was pulling out.he didnt come home till nighttime.he had to get his mom roses and plant flowers for her.i got 2 dollar chocolates.and his mother got 50 dollars worth of flowers.shudnt i have been just as important on my first mothers day.i thought it was supposed to b like the most special one ?
shudnt he want to b around me as much as his parents.i cant get him to talk.he just says will be different when he isnt as stressed.but they never r.unless there is other guys around then hes all over me..he gets jelous.which means he loves me..so y doesnt he want to spend any time at all together.i spend almost everyday crying and trying to figure out what ive done wrong for him to bitch about coming in for 5 minutes.. i think his dad is an issue.he tries to run his and my life.sadly hes a rude broke asshole living under our roof telling us what to do.i gained weight alot of weight while pregnant.and i havnt lost any and aarons 6 months it doesnt help my self esteem when i have both of them telling me im a fat ugly bitch because i had to yell at anthony to get his kid or to come inside for 5 minutes.i mean i wont yell unless he is rude or yells first but.there is no point and i realize that..i just dont want to lose him.and i know he feels the same hes just still going through so much having a son so soon and all and i think i am just handling it better.but does that give him the right to treat me like shit..gosh it feels good to get these problems out lol
so if you have any suggestions to my problems.or any comments or anything.i would appreiciate them more than ever at the moment before i have a mental breakdown lol. you can email me at taylor14sam@hotmail.com
thanks
June 8th, 2010 at 1:30 am
I’ve been with a guy for 22 years and see an eleventh sign to dump him. He won’t accept responsibility and sucks me dry in the finance dept. One thing though I keep on trying to leave and all stuff like some furniture and appliances is mine. Someday soon I’ll leave and breathe deep the air of freedom. Its hard to do now, but it will happen.
June 11th, 2010 at 10:50 am
I’ve updated this article and you can find it here: http://beyondjane.com/relationships/part-2-10-signs-you-should-dump-your-boyfriend/.
June 13th, 2010 at 8:41 pm
Well my realationship just started recently and i dont really no if it should last like i never seen him in person before only on facebook and myspace and half the time all we do is text each other and he doesn’t no how to text back fast enough sooo slow omg and he is 11 im 13 idk is that wrong?
June 16th, 2010 at 2:59 am
wow i fall under 5,7 and 8. Are these fixable? because i really love him and i know that he loves me, just…not as much as i do him. I’m 19 turning, 20 and he’s 23 and i always feel like, A. i’m the adult, B, i’m the kid, or C, i’m the one responsible for everything. Plus he’s a total flirt!! he goes on outings with his “girl” freinds, i dont mind that part, i have a lot of guy freinds, but he always acts like it’s a date and see’s how far h can go!! it boils my blood bcause i know that he’s not respecting me, when i dont even look at other guys. But i love him so much, I feel he’s my soulmate, actually i know deep down that he is…. What do i do?
June 21st, 2010 at 4:27 pm
Geez, my relationship is long distance, different countries, and trying to survive for 2 1/2 years. I feel like I am no longer important to him, that I am neglected and always the last of his priorities. We can’t see each other often but try to communicate everyday.
He’s says he’s always working or busy with his NA. Ofcourse I have complained about feeling left out…etc and that I feel he no longer views me as any importance and that I think he should make time for me like he does everything else. If not, I suggested that our relationship is pointless. This seems to upset him a lot. The first thing he says is “are you breaking up with me or are you dumping me?”
I don’t know, what to think. He constantly says he loves me, and even gets upset that I don’t say it back. But then his actions make me feel otherwise. We try to be open too each other and talk about people we meet, who catches our attention and if we find that we want to be with someone else, we should let each other know. We have tried to set a goal of me moving to him, that time has passed. He says he wants to get married, but I feel he just says that. He claims I am to insecure and paranoid and should trust him and believe he loves me, but I am always doubtful. It seems to push him away.
I wish I knew what was the best thing to do. The truth is, I love him dearly. I want to believe him when he says he loves me to, but I need him to show it to me also. It is hard living so far away from each other. Maybe I am being to needy. I don’t know anymore.
June 26th, 2010 at 5:42 am
My boyfriend and I are a distance away, he is in Francistown and am in Maun. We have a baby gal and since the birth of our little gal everything changed.He used to call and sending us messages checking on us and since i took the baby home he no longer calls. He does nt shw an interest on us no more and he doesnt take care of the baby and i took the matter to the magistrate. Now i v decided to end the relationship because i dn understand if he still love me. And the problem with the guy is,if i ask him if he still love me he says he love me.