10 Signs That He’s Not Right for You

January 17, 2008 by J.T. Williamson  
Published in Dating

Everyone has their flaws, but some flaws are warning signs that you need to get away and fast.

This guide will help you to decipher whether your guy is a keeper or not. If he displays any of these signs, it’s time to do some major thinking about your relationship.

  1. He controls you. Anyone that tells you what to wear, where to go, who to talk to etc. is not a healthy person. They don’t like you for you. They want to change you into what they want you to be. You have to watch out for this one, it sneaks up on you; but if you find yourself constantly apologizing for being yourself, or you’re constantly being yelled at, get out and fast.
  2. He’s cheated on you. Once a cheater-always a cheater. Let me repeat this again, once a cheater-always a cheater. I’ve made the mistake over and over again of bringing a cheater back in my life, and the same cycle repeated itself over and over again. They may beg, they may cry, but don’t let your guard down like he did when he cheated on you.
  3. He’s a crier. It’s fine and dandy for a guy to cry once in a while. Everyone gets upset and emotional, but if it’s every single day then there is something wrong. He is either severely depressed or just crying for your affection and/or attention. If he’s more on the depressed side, talk to him about getting help and see if that makes a difference. If he’s crying to get attention, inform him that you are not his Mother and run away fast.
  4. He makes you feel uncomfortable. Any guy that makes you feel uncomfortable about anything is dump-worthy. I’m not being completely unfair here and saying to dump him right away, but if you’ve expressed your concern about anything that makes you uncomfortable and it continues then he’s not going to change.
  5. He has a substance abuse problem. Whether it be drugs, alcohol, or sniffing glue hop on a train away from this guy. He will give you a sob story about how he does these things “every once in a while,” but come on, the dude has a problem. And don’t think that because you don’t partake in his habits that they won’t affect you, believe me they will whether you’re riding in a car with him when he gets busted, or he pawns your Mother’s wedding ring to support his habit.
  6. He’s hit you-even if it was a little slap and it was only when you kept bothering him about something that he didn’t want to talk about it. That little slap will turn into big slaps, punches, and eventually beatings. I am also talking from experience here, it doesn’t matter how much he apologizes and cries, he’s abusive and you need to leave.
  7. You spend all of your money on him. Who cares that he doesn’t have a job? He doesn’t. There is a difference in lending someone money and getting paid back and just freely giving away your money. Any man that is comfortable taking his significant other’s money, no repayment, is just using that person. See what happens when you tell him that you don’t have the money, then decide if you like the reaction.
  8. He hates your family, friends, and anyone else that knows you. Your friends and family are a reflection of who you are. Don’t let anyone seclude you from or make you embarrassed of the people that you love. Your family and friends will have been and will probably be around longer than he has. Make the right choice.
  9. He lets his friends disrespect you. This one is a big one. If your guy lets his friends or anyone else that he knows disrespect you then he doesn’t respect you. It’s either that or he’s just too chicken to speak up.
  10. You two are not moving at the same pace. He thinks of you as a “cute girl” that he goes on dates with casually, and you think of him as the guy that you’re going to marry. If he’s not into you like you’re into him, then why waste time. On the other side of things if he’s bought you a ring and you’re totally not into him then the same advice goes. Dump him.
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15 Responses to “10 Signs That He’s Not Right for You”
  1. RGhosh Says:

    Great Advice. Thanks

  2. Liane Schmidt Says:

    Nice article…keep up the great work.

    Best wishes.


    -Liane Schmidt.

  3. Alana Says:

    Good advice! We all need someone in our lives that make us happy and has a positive effect on us.

    Alana Andrews :)


  4. Ruby Hawk Says:

    Wonderful advise for all the ladies and the guys. Guys get pushed around too, you know.

  5. Josey Says:

    This is great advice. I loved reading your article. You are on point, girl!

  6. ASH Says:

    not all men are lying,cheating sexist pigs, but you and the Lifetime network seem to think they are, you made good points in your article don’t get me wrong, but you also seem very bitter toward men generally as is obvious by some of the tone in this article.

    Example:”He’s hit you-even if it was a little slap and it was only when you kept bothering him about something that he didn’t want to talk about it. That little slap will turn into big slaps, punches, and eventually beatings.”

    good advice, but if you keep nagging someone(male or female) about something they don’t want to talk about and don’t expect any reaction, you’re in a dream world. Granted the reaction should not be an abusive one but people do have every right to say “I don’t want to talk about it” and just like they respect you enough not to react in an abusive manner, you should have the decency not to drag the issue out.

    Another thing, from the article “On the other side of things if he’s bought you a ring and you’re totally not into him then the same advice goes. Dump him.” If the two of the people were in a relationship LONG ENOUGH that he bought her a ring, there must be something there, and the fact that she didn’t have the courtesy prior to him buying the ring to tell him she wasn’t “into” him tells me 2 things. Either A, She’s a user, or B, she isn’t assertive enough or mature enough for a relationship at all. Why do I say this? Because key to any successful relationship is COMMUNICATION.

  7. Nathan Johnson Says:

    A relationship has to be two sided,reciprocated, mutually or it is doomed before it even gets off the ground,I agree that this article seems biased against men, the fact is many women can be just as conniving,spiteful,vindictive and manipulative as some men, I have been in relationships where the women behaved like the proverbial “Delilah” or “Jezebel”,using like a child uses a toy, being the seductress only to turn around and stab in the back or cheat, so please the next time you write trying to give advice don’t bare your fangs just against men, but against all those who have chosen to be liars,conniving,spiteful, and manipulative, regardless of gender

  8. Jill Tate Says:

    Hello “ASH” and “Nathan Johnson” this article was targeted towards women and are just my suggestions. I do encourage the both of you to write articles that aren’t “biased” and don’t have the “Lifetime” philosophy on life (I do LOVE the Lifetime network LOL)

    Anyways, thanks for reading the article and sharing your opinions.

    You two really make great suggestions and have really strong opinions so I would LOVE to read any article that YOU write and give my opinion. I hope that you’re up to it!

  9. Carol Says:

    #10 is really spot-on for me.. that’s the case in my situation but too bad, i’m still stuck in that kind of relationship… great article, by the way.. two thumbs up!

  10. pretty pink princess Says:

    it is just the worst thing ever losing the one you love- i thought me and my ex had something so special- we were together a year and a half and he was my first boyfriend and first love- we had alot of problems infact pretty much almost all of the ones listed above but i was addicted to him- i still love him so much and i clung on to the bitter end- now i only feel like a fool because i have now found out he was cheating on me in the end and is now with her- he lied through his teeth to me and it hurts so bad- i gave everything of myself to him and it lead me into severe depression for which i now have to take medication for and have counselling for the state he sent me to because of how he treated me- looking back i cant believe what i put up with from him because i just loved him so much i was in denial and would have done anything to stay with him. and of course i miss him so much but i know that i will get over him in time and that i am better off without him in the long run- his own paranoia battered down his own feelings for me- when it turned out it was me that shouldnt have trusted him- not the other way around- so if your boyfriend doesnt trust you and is possessive with you and controlling then thats a sign that it is actually him who is not to be trusted and he knows it- hes just worried that you might be the same.
    my only advice to you is- leave him before he leaves you.- i wish i’d have took that advice when it was given to me but its too late for me now.
    goodluck xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  11. Leonardo da Vinci E. Says:

    “Don’t let them get the best of your heart, save the rest of your love…..and you’ll be taken care of”

  12. Wrecked Says:

    #10 is what ended it for me

  13. Sos Says:

    i have been dumped so i think these tips will help me a lot.

  14. QueenPS Says:

    Wow; interesting pointers. I am in a very unhappy marriage of five years. I must admit, I have noticed some [if not ALL and MORE] of these signs, some of which still exist with no hope of retraction. Things got worse when he cheated on me and came back with a baby. As if that weren’t enough, despite me finding out, he continued seeing this woman and practising fatherhood to this baby. I mean, we would get up in the morning for our respective jobs, and guess what… he wouldn’t return home on Friday night. No explanation, no call, and he would definitely not pick up my calls. He became distant, aggressive and very impatient with me. He would take his “then girlfriend” to sleep with her in his brother’s place. He frustrated me to a point that I miscarried at some point. Though he took me to the hospital when I miscarried, he was not there when the baby was taken out the next morning. He introduced the “then girlfriend” and baby to his family and friends—the baby now stays with his mother. He uses my car to drop me off at work @7:00am and pick me up @ 7:00pm; because he “just landed a new job & that he needs to make an impression”. The minute I request to use the car to do shopping, which is once in a while, he fumes and doesn’t speak to me for as long as it is comfortable for him. The list goes on, I fill trapped and frustrated, but I am still with him. If you could ask me when was the last time he hugged or kissed me passionately–i’d probably look at you with dismay………

  15. angel Says:

    I think this article really made me realize some things about my relationship. But I also have to disagree with some of the situations posted here. I have been in several relationships and each guy, at one point or another, will or has done one of these things. And as women, we are as liable as they are. I can\’t say that I have never been angry and had abusive thoughts or that I have never hated the people my man surrounded himself with. Life happens.

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