10 Signs That He Doesn’t Respect You

November 22, 2009 by J.T. Williamson  
Published in Dating

Wondering if the new guy in your life respects you or not? Read these tips and then re-evaluate your situation.

Wondering if your guy respects you? Though many will say that if you have to ask that question then there’s a problem–most girls wonder this from time to time when witnessing certain behaviors from their boyfriends. Here are 10 signs that he may have a lack of respect for you.

  1. He lets his friends and family talk bad about you. This is one of the number one signs because anyone who respected you wouldn’t allow this to happen. People’s friends and families always have opinions of people, but if you are always being slandered by everyone and you’ve told him that this bothers you and there has been nothing done about it then either he doesn’t respect you or he’s too much of a wuss to stand up to anyone.
  2. You’re the butt of his jokes. This sign could be mis-interpreted so I will clarify. There are some guys that love to joke around all of the time. There is nothing wrong with this. There is also nothing wrong with him joking about you and with you if it is done tastefully. If the jokes that he makes about you are constantly vulgar and frequent–he’s just being downright mean.
  3. He calls you names–all of the time. When couples get angry sometimes, there may be an exchange of ugly names between them and that is understandable. After this type of name-calling exchange, there are usually apologies later made between the two parties. This is also understandable. BUT if your guy is constantly calling you derogatory names in front of people or in private–warning sign!
  4. He never takes you seriously. This is also a sign that can be mis-interpreted, so again I will clarify. What this means is that if you’re constantly having to tell him that something like the death of a family member is serious; then you have a respect issue. He should always respect what is important to you. If you like the theatre and want for him to go to an Opera and he doesn’t want to go (but this is a serious matter to you)–then that’s just a disagreement that has nothing to do with respect. It’s just a conflict of interest.
  5. He never apologizes–even when it’s obvious that he’s wrong. If your guy can never bring himself to say the words “I’m sorry” to you for anything; he’s a jerk. There are instances where we all feel that we shouldn’t apologize and that we are right. There  are also times when an “I’m sorry” is warranted. If you’re dating someone who has told you specifically that he never apologizes for anything then you have an issue on your hands.
  6. He goes weeks at a time without communicating with you. If your guy is in the military or works off-shore and absolutely cannot get in contact with you; that’s understandable. If you and your guy live in the same town, you have both agreed that you are indeed “together”, and he doesn’t contact you for weeks at a time; he’s just telling you that you’re together to keep you on his team. If he respected you, and more-so if he was truly interested in you, you’d hear from him more often that a couple of times a month.
  7. He leaves immediately after he gets what he wants. I think that you all know what this means–but I’m not just talking about him leaving after “pillow fights.” If your guy always leaves after he’s gotten you to do what he needs done, then he doesn’t respect you. He’s just using you. If he always asks you for something such as money and then leaves; that’s another huge sign. For further reference read the article, “4 Signs that He’s Using you for Money” to acess that situation on your own.
  8. There’s always a double standard. If your guy tells you that he doesn’t want you to party or go out because he wants you to himself, but he’s allowed to go out and do whatever he wants–this double standard is a warning sign. He doesn’t respect you enough to even care whether you have fun or not. If your guy asks you to come along with him to “party” and he doesn’t like it when you go out alone, that’s not too bad–he just prefers that you two go out together. 
  9. He avoids spending time with you. If since you’ve been “dating” your guy works 12 hour shifts, sleeps when he gets off, then sleeps on the weekends (when he’s off) and you never see him–PROBLEM. If he’s always with his friends (and he doesn’t let you come along because his friends don’t have girlfriends)–PROBLEM! If more than 95% of his time is consumed with other “things” and he tells you that he doesn’t anticipate having any more time for you in the future–there is a respect issue. He needs to just respect you enough to tell you that he doesn’t want to date you.
  10. He makes sure that you feel lower than him. If your guy criticizes your job, your friends, your wardrobe, your hair, your weight, your family, and every single little thing that makes you who you are–he doesn’t have an ounce of respect for you.

Most of all, if a guy is lying to you constantly (I didn’t make that a sign because all of the examples above can be coupled with lying), then that’s a huge deal breaker (read 10 Ways to know He/She is Lying to You).

All of the examples above are situations that couples go through every day. You may think that some of these examples are present in your relationship, but before telling him that he absolutely doesn’t respect you and dropping him, the best thing to do is talk to him. If he doesn’t respect you enough to even talk to him–take the cue and get out of the relationship fast! 

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6 Responses to “10 Signs That He Doesn’t Respect You”
  1. Authoress Terry E. Lyle Says:

    You hit that nail on the head, but that goes both ways disrespect is ugly regardless of who’s doing it!

  2. Joie Schmidt Says:

    Very good article!! You’ll end up with a man who respects you completely & TRUE LOVE *:)



    -Liane Schmidt.

  3. diamondpoet Says:

    First sign should have been him trying to get in your pants on the first date.

  4. Lex92 Says:

    My ex did that to me all of the time… it’s like I’m a person too you know? Great article

  5. Spanish Pisces Says:

    Sadly, i was once tangled in such relationship.
    Worse thing is, this kind of people makes you feel guilty for their behaviour, and hence you do not have the courage to break up or to blame them because you end up thinking it´s your own doing, so you keep pleasing them and making everything better and easier for them, but they keep hurting and rejecting you, in an ever ending circle of guilt.

    P.S : In my case , it was a she, but i guess it does not matter, since this issue is kind of genderless.

  6. Hyneman Says:

    you are preaching! great article…

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