Could My Husband be Gay? (5 Ways to Find Out)

Personality Change:
My husband was the kindest man in the world – he would do anything for anyone.  Approximately five years before he came out of the closet, this all changed.  He became extremely narcissistic, self-absorbed and mean-spirited. The cynicism was the worst.  He had never cursed or had a bad thing to say about anyone, but this all changed.  He was suddenly horrible to be around. Where he was once very laid back about everything, he became extremely cynical, verbally/emotionally abusive.  He would find fault with everything and everybody – friends, family, children, me!  He totally alienated family and friends.  He was abusive to them as well.  He became one very angry man.

Style of Dress
Where he was once very conservative in his dress – Brooks Brothers, button-down, polo shirts, … he became very metro-sexual in his dress … the shoes were a huge change!  No longer would he wear polo shirts, they had to be tight-fitting, v-neck shirts.  He would always dress, even for working in the yard!  Where he would once throw on a pair of khaki shorts and a polo in the summer, it soon became these “guido” shirts and very fitted pants.  There were so many changes.  I know that this may seem absurd, but coming from a man who would never stray from the southern man’s uniform, it was definitely different!  And the shoes … all had to be Prada … he used to previously buy all of his shoes at Designer Shoe Wearhouse, but now they can only be Prada!

Self-Medicating
My ex-husband began to drink heavily … during the day he was fine, but at night the demons would come out. There would be very extreme mood changes.  Impotency ensued with the alcohol abuse … we still had sex, but not as frequently and that was my choice … as he was so abusive that I had no desire to sleep with him.  I truly believe that sex enhances a relationship, it doesn’t salvage it.

Very Controlling
Where we had once been equals in all aspects, he became very controlling – especially  with the finances.  At one point I discovered that he had multiple credit cards that had large balances ($40K).   It was as if he couldn’t control what was going on inside, he had to control everything externally.  He changed his passwords on his work line and cell phone.  We had always used the same passwords, but he would say that his work “mandated” that they be changed.