Something Right From Something Right

At long last I have gained the courage to put in writing what I truly feel; I have gained courage to publish online what is truly inside my mind.

Just like anyone of you, I have fallen in and out of love, and most of them were what we called as “one-sided love.” I got frustrated a lot of times, I got hurt a lot of times and I cried once in a while. But I never stopped loving for I know, that is one of my prime purposes in life.

After a few times of trying, I have found some, yet he was unaccepted by my family. He was criticized and scrutinized and was threatened. We were a couple full of promises and it’s only that. Only promises that were never meant to be fulfilled. The love we have is FORBIDDEN.

He left me three years ago. You might be wondering if I went after him. No I didn’t and I never bother. I really got angry and furious. I never cried; not a single tear fell from my eyes. I was that hurt, I was so hurt that I can’t even make myself shed even a single tear.

Several months after his sudden disappearance I have found out that I am pregnant. My head was in turmoil at that time. I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t someone whom I could turn to. I have my friends yet I don’t want to bother them, since I know that, just like me, they also have their problems to take care of. And ever since, I am not accustomed to making myself as a burden to others.

After less than two months, I summoned all my strength to confess everything to my parents. It’s really hard for me, they have expected too much from me. I have showed them the copy of my ultrasound and some of the Doctor’s notes. I told them how sorry I am, I don’t want it yet I don’t have the heart to commit abortion. That was the first time I saw my father cried and I was truly hurt. I have broken my father’s heart and I have disgraced him and our family. I was and still sorry for my mistake.

Now, my daughter is two years old, she is very vibrant and energetic. She has her own style of touching people’s lives. All people, stranger or not, adores her very much. I am really blessed with having her and I never regretted not giving her up.

If you are still wondering if I ever searched or look after the moron when I found out that I got pregnant, the answer is still no. Why? Well he is such a coward. He made me feel miserable when he left me. And I don’t want my daughter to suffer the same fate that I have suffered. I want what is good and best for my daughter. And I also believe that I am enough, we are enough for my daughter to feel that she is loved and very well provided. Perhaps you might think that I am selfish. Yes I am, and that’s because I love my daughter too much. And giving chances to her father wouldn’t provide good outcome. He has abandoned me, and I don’t my daughter feel likewise.

 I AM JUST A HUMAN; I HAVE FEARS JUST LIKE, AND I ALSO KNOW HOW TO LOVE AND PROTECT JUST LIKE YOU.