Pining for Real Men

August 26, 2009 by Linda Sicoli  
Published in Issues

A humorous take on women and men of today.

The marketing gurus at Home Depot have got to be on my top ten list of heroes, being in that field myself. Of course, Madonna and Microsoft are up there, too, but I must truly admit that the Home Depot strategy has such strength that, if I really wanted to throw a tricky spin in there, I could actually hold it responsible for my being single.

I noted, while assisting my nephew and his wife in moving their household over the weekend, that there is very little handy work that I cannot master, with the right tools and a friendly little chat with any one of the little orange-clad clerks from that chain of stores. In contrast, the males in attendance at this moving event, with the exception of my nephew’s father-in-law, were virtually incapable of logically calculating the required steps to complete even the simplest task.

Where have all the manly men disappeared to? Personally, I think they have abandoned the traits of utility and strength in favour of displaying their testosterone through the lyrics of gangster rap and showing their underwear over their waistlines. At least, that is what I could determine from the sampling of my nephew’s buddies present over the weekend. But calling women your “bitches” and showing that you can get the “bling” doesn’t even remotely move my hormones in the same way as watching a sweaty guy in work boots swing a drill around. Rrrrrrroowwwwwwwwwwrr!!! Now, that can make me swoon.

But as I paint my own walls and install my own fixtures, change my own tires and open my own jars, I feel the painful void that has been left by the sad, strange absence of the rugged guy. I wonder sometimes, as they watch us hoisting tire jacks and buying power tools, if they, too, sigh with melancholy and dream of the day when women were girly and giggly and not closely gaining on their corporate asses.

The paradigm seems to be that with cloning and sex toys and what not, women could conceivably reach a point where our need for men has become obsolete. Yikes!!!! How very unnatural that seems. But I say, “Boys!! Do not abandon hope yet!! It’s not too late to save yourselves! Ride a horse! Swing a lasso! Call me ma’am! But for God’s sake, please, please, please, at VERY least, learn how to install a flush anchor and caulk a sink!!”

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6 Responses to “Pining for Real Men”
  1. XXElleXX Says:

    LOL! I agree Linda – I have a Mr Fix-it guy and I’d be hopeless without him :-) I do pay my own bills, buys my own things, and I DO NOT allow my partner to affect my stability or self-confidence ie. I do what I can do to help and support him and he does the same for me. Good write:-)

  2. Stan Wilson Says:

    very good article..thank you

  3. Ranjan Mathews Says:

    Nothing wrong from the single parent’s viewpoint. But, why can’t a Family remain a Family in Canda, USA or Europe? Read my Marriages Are Forever in Authspot.

  4. brotherdewayne Says:


  5. Wordcrafter Says:

    Thank you for sharing your views with us. I definitely enjoyed this article. Keep writing.

  6. careliberty Says:

    “very unnatural” indeed!

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