My Sister Thinks She’s Fat

As if it wasn’t bad enough that almost all women are horribly obsessed with their weight, my sister decided to tell me the other day that she needed to lose a few pounds because she was fat. The kicker for this one is that she is only nine years old. She tells me she weighs a whole ninety pounds. Really, I tell her, because I would kill to be ninety pounds again.

What is it with kids nowadays? They are running around worrying that they are fat, calling themselves ugly, worrying about what the boys at school think. It’s as if their bodies have been taken over by insecure eighteen year olds. You look on the street and there are these little ten and eleven year olds walking around wearing short skirts and tube tops like little miniature call girls and it really makes you wonder how parents could let their children walk around like this? When I was eleven, wearing anything that wasn’t a sweater with overalls was strictly prohibited.

Well I was shocked when my sister told me this, and so I sat her down and told her some facts. I told her that if she was concerned with her weight, she should do some exercises every day, eat her vegetables, give up on sweets, and other things. This is about the time when she decided maybe she wasn’t fat after all. I can’t be certain, but I think I heard her hug a bag of chips and whisper “let’s never fight again.”