Give It to Me Baby

It is dark outside and you just got out of work or class.  You walk out the door nervously; you never know who is out there.  Apprehensively, you start your march towards your vehicle.  Upon turning a corner, you see it – the emergency phone located in various spots nearby for women who are walking to their car in the dark.  You could call; you have the possibility of an escort, just in case.  Suddenly, you hear a noise behind you and it almost makes you jump in fright, upon turning around you find that the offender is a tiny squirrel.  Embarrassed but still frightened, you keep walking…pretending like the small squirrel did not totally “freak you out”.  You are now able to see your car in the distance; your eyes are on fire now with the burden of looking around all the cars, waiting for something or someone to jump out at you.  You start to come within reach of your car when you stop.  You begin your examination.  Is there any one inside or near the perimeters of your vehicle?  You start to glance underneath, around and inside of your vehicle.  Finally when the coast is clear, you push the remote and your car lights up, the doors unlock, and you speedily jump into your car, lock the doors and fire up the ignition.  You are safe at last.    

For many women, this is a ordinary routine due to the prevalence of abusive and dishonest men in society.  Violence against woman is on the rise with approximately 2,000 rapes occuring per year.  More clearly stated, one female is victimized every five minutes with the majority occuring to young women and children.  Women’s bodies are being mistreated, but perhaps more importantly their virtue is robbed. The perpetrator himself is stealing something that can never be replaced or made right in the woman’s life again.  Yet, the act itself is blamed upon women for the manner in which they dress and act.  A common belief among men is that women yearn and fantasize about being raped; pornography can be held responsible for this.  Consequently, pornography initiates beliefs into men that, “Your penis is a weapon; her body is your target”.  Pornography romanticizes rape, it involves the “sexualization and objectification of women’s bodies and part of bodies for entertainment value”.  Making women look like objects under erotic circumstances, pornography has dramatically increased the number of rapes worldwide. 

In the video “Tough Guise” by Jackson Catz, it is found that 80% of all murders, 90% of all assault, 95% of all domestic violence, and 99.8% of all rapes are committed by men.  Why are these numbers so high when compared to women?  Why does society not expose this information?  Why is the protection of women not a moral issue discussed more by politicians?  Less than five percent of perpetrators are ever convicted and when convicted it is rare that they are sentenced to life in prison.  It appears ironic that if an individual steals virtue from a woman, they are scarcely caught and hardly punished;  Yet, if an individual robs a bank, there is more emphasis placed in finding the individual and prosecuting.   The explanation is due to the belief in “men are masters, women are slaves; men are superior, women are subordinate; men are real, women are objects”. 

 Due to this belief, many women and children are beaten and violated.  As an example, in Zenzele, a family member is mentioned that is frequently beaten by her husband.  Likewise in Africa, there are some tribes where the women are so severely beaten by their husbands that the wives are constantly plotting their murder by poison or other methods.  These actions support and give validation to statements like, “All men are dogs!  Some are just more doggish than others.  Do you hear me?”. In many instances there are many women who have experienced pain because of abusive men; the woman’s tale is disregarded and unbelieved.  In “A Letter From a Battered Wife”, a woman tells her story of abuse.  When seeking for help, she discovered that she had to “defend [herself] against the suspicion that [she] wanted to be hit, that [she] invited the beatings.  Did the Jews invite themselves to be slaughtered in Germany?”.  Why should anyone, man or woman be confined to patriarchal social norms that cause them physical, emotional, and mental harm?  

Many women worldwide suffer from emotional pain due to domestic violence.  It is important to remind society that women are individuals who have feelings and emotions.  What would be the result if men were the ones who were constantly victimized, afraid of walking alone in the dark, and degraded?  How would the world be different?  Would there be a greater push to end domestic violence?  It is important to realize that the women who are maltreated are our mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, grandmothers, nieces, and friends.  As women, we must stand up and fight for violence to end.  We can no longer accept the excuses of  “she was dressed skanky”, or “she is known to be very promiscuous.”  Just because a man is wearing a wallet, doesn’t mean he is asking to be robbed.  As women, we do not ask to be violated.  “Give it to me baby” is not our permanent mind set.