Have You Got “The Forties?”
Of course you may be asking what are “the forties?” The forties are actually things you do now that you are in your forties that you didn’t do in your twenties and thirties and believe me, it ain’t always pretty.
Now that I am in my forties I look back fondly at my twenties and thirties and can’t help but notice I’m doing things a lot differently now that I did when I was in my twenties and thirties. It could be that perhaps I’m doing the same things but now my actions are a little more pronounced. Here are a few examples for things I attribute to being in my forties or forties things:
1. Sleeping with little or no clothing. This is something I never used to do or even thought of doing but now I seem to have evolved into this practice. Naturally, with some hormonal changes, this may a normal progression but I know I used to never sleep like this and think nothing of it. It’s not like I’m having hot flashes either. I don’t think I’m there yet, but I do enjoy the skin a little more now that I used to.
2. The big gut syndrome. I remember when I had an enviable waistline but all of the sudden the french fries and burgers stopped metabolizing at forty. And I now have this elonged rear-end to match the roll-out the barrel physique. I know is a forties thing and I know I’ve just got to work a little harder cut out some things to get back where I should be and cut out what I call the ‘forties farting’ too. I don’t even want to talk about that.
3. Paranoia. I seems like now that I am in my forties I am more concerned than ever before about they way I perceive people perceive me. I call it the ‘constant looking over the shoulder’ syndrome. When I was in the twenties and thirties, I would ‘blow off’ any and everybody I didn’t like or thought they didn’t like me. Now I worry about them to a degree not all day everyday but to the extent I would call it a forties thing.
4. Despising people in there twenties and thirties. When I was in my thirties, I had patience for people younger than me. Now all that patience has worn away. Especially, when you have to work with younger people who refuse to accept the fact that just because you are a little older than them, you’re dum and need wheelchair assistance. Or you may have the opposite who do not respect you are a little older than them and can’t do all the things they can do. I really don’ t know which one is worse. Again, a forties thing.
The really sickening thing about the forties and that the situation may not be getting any better in the fifties. So for now, I just warn people that I do have the disease called the forties.