Do You Only See Ugly When You Look in the Mirror?

Take this email from Judy, who is approaching her fiftieth and feels so bad about her reflection, she has got rid of all mirrors in her house:

”I have wanted to be pretty all my life and have tried to make the best of myself, wearing nice clothes and make up. But all I see in the mirror is deep wrinkles, dark shadows under my eyes and saggy skin. I can’t afford plastic surgery and it has got to the point where I never look in mirrors and get really upset if I’m in a place where everyone is so much younger and more attractive than me. I don’t look at photos as they just make me depressed.”

Judy feels that old age has nothing to offer but becoming undervalued and invisible, yet we only have to look in newspapers and magazines to see so many older women providing wonderful role models for ageing with grace and beauty. No one is suggesting her analysis of herself is wrong, but only that her view is about something inside herself rather than true facts.

For some reason many of us give up as we get to ”middle age” and assume that now our youth is behind us, there’s no reason to make the best of ourselves any more. Cruel comments made by others stick in our minds and take on far greater importance than they deserve. We sink into a negative frame of mind that becomes normal after a while.

There are a load of self help books out there that go on about finding your inner beauty, your journey of self discovery and blah, blah, blah…personally I’m all for a bit of practical work to get our lives moving and shaking like it we did in the old days!

Anyone who has watched Gok Wan recently surely cannot fail to be impressed by his action focused approach, where his ladies are primped and preened to within an inch of their lives, without surgery or losing a pound; and their confidence rockets as a result.

None of his recommendations – such as packing in the ciggies and sunbeds, and getting a proper skin care regime going – are aimed at creating supermodels, but making the best of yourself and accepting what you have as part of you.

It’s all in the packaging. Gok gets women to believe in themselves again. Similarly Trinny and Susannah are waging an all out battle to encourage women to accept and dress for their body shapes – the information is out there waiting to be digested.

The simple honest fact is that we all age, and yes, some of us are blessed with genes that mean we do it slower than others. But if we become determined to see life more positively and start taking practical steps to make our sow’s ear into a silk purse, then all of a sudden there’s still fun and a sense of achievement to be had.