40, 50, Fabulous

Ladies: Welcome to the first article of Forty, Fifty, and Fabulous. This series will be presented monthly with a dose of humor, a hint of truth, and a help to keep you as magnificient as you are. It is time to remember who and what you are. Please, just for a moment, put down the imagines in magazines you cling to.

Shake off the media blitz with twelve year old ‘children’ parading around in size zero couture-by they way, they are probably starving their little brains for lack of a nutrition. I have seen that look in your eyes and mine as well. It is time to stop this craziness. You know the look I’m talking about when someone younger walks into the room. Our laughter stops and we look like a deer caught in the headlights (flourescent white ones) that show the crevices above our brow line. Did I hear someone say, ‘bangs?’ Her long blong hair brushes across her firm chest that is standing at attention in a loose silk top and her mini skirt hugs her sculpted thighs as those stilettos click by beckoning us all back to a time gone by when we couldn’t spell the word ‘cellulite’ let alone loathe the word. (By the way, there is a product that I swear by for that dimpling issue.)

Since I am a counselor, I forge in auto and my maternal common sense clicks in, “Ouch, those heels must be killing her. Hope she doesn’t plan on dancing all night.” OMG, I just heard my Mother’s voice in my head! My friends shift their body structure; shoulders stiffen and eyes widen. We ’smell’ the vibes as the center circumference of the room changes. We have become excellent ’stiffers’ by this age due to experience. One point for us. I shift into the role of ‘observer.’ Some women become irritated by her mere presence and have a tough time concealing it. Others snicker and sneer under their breathe. One ‘fifty’ something becomes increasingly loud and gulps her wine. Another glares at her husband; the message, ‘don’t you dare look.’

As I watched all of us shrivel into fearful crones, I saw how ugly we had become to each other, our mates, and most importantly to ourselves. I wanted to scream-stop it. Instead, I pulled out a mirror and reapplied my lip gloss! This is ridiculous I thought on the ride home. We shouldn’t envy the young girls, the mistress, the famous. Eye-candy girls will always be there. The word, candy, is not the main course to any satisfying meal and doesn’t satisfy the appetite for long. My Grandpa always told me when I myself was ‘eye candy.’ “There will always be someone younger and smarter coming around the corner; make the most of what you have.” But, many of us have withered and become old, nasty, and just plain unlikeable. What is wrong with being forty or fifty something? What is wrong? Nothing but a society with misplaced values. I hope we can join together to support and inspire each other to not just arrive at this stage but every stage of every female in the universe.

Each phase brings its own beauty, glamour. But for the record, I feel ‘us’ fifty fabulous gals have a new found grace and wisdom that can’t be purchased in any jar. As for the men in our lives, I don’t doubt for a second why they don’t ‘get’ us. we don’t have a handle on ourselves. And, if for some slight of fate, you have found a wolf in sheep’s clothes that chases young sheep-dump him. You are too smart and too wise to settle. But that is another story. April’s Tips for those forty, fifty, and Fabulous Spiritual Tip: You are ageless.

Keep your step light and your heart open. Health Tip: Lay off the booze-it adds calories, cost money, and can make you look cheap and desperate if you over indulge. Research states women do not have the same enzyme that metabolizes alcohol as men – that is why we can’t drink as much as men. Beauty Tip: Butterfly tape placed on the eyes and forehead before bed eliminates wrinkles while we sleep. It can be purchased at any drug store. Talk about ‘multi tasking.’ Chat with you soon forty, fifty, and fabulous gals. Love and light, April Kirkwood, M.Ed., LSW