Working Out for The Best

October 24, 2012 by L.E.Monist  
Published in Motherhood

The odd balance between events, reactions and reformation.

At the point of heartbreak no one wants to hear “it is all for the best.”  Yet, after a few years, the fact that it was more benefit than bereavement becomes evident. This is not because one has accepted, but because one has adapted.  One has altered their outlook and actions in response to the heartbrak and developed positive strategies which would not have existed if everything had a fairy tale ending.

Take the usual.  Mary is in love with John, they plan to marry, and then John is caught with another woman, and so ends the love affair.  

Those outside will have the questions; “Why now?“  For if John had betrayed his inability to keep his pants on earlier then the path to wedding would not have been taken.  Of course, if John was caught after, this would
have been even more devastating.  

So being caught now is really a benefit to Mary.   John being caught is a benefit to Mary because what would be the results if he had never been caught.  If he had played her for years and years deep into the marriage so that she learns, maybe ten or fifteen years after the wedding that he has a girlfriend and maybe children with this girl friend. Her whole life would then be a lie.  And she would feel extra stupid.

Further, Mary will now develope a new way of seeing and ealing with people.  She will not be so trusting, she will not give her heart 100% and a little suspicion is a good thing. Mary, who may hav foreseen her life as a stay at home mommy or expected to live John’s life with him will now be forced to create her own life, and over time will develope as her own person.

Looking back, ten or twenty years to that day she learned John was unfaithful may fill her with a sense of gratitude for her life today is so much better than it would have been.

Many times that terrible heartbreak is more an opportunity then is first perceived.  The traits one must create to survive are often the most valuable.

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