When Do You Tell People You’re Pregnant?

The stick came back positive. You’re pregnant! You want to scream to the world that you’re going to have a baby! Well, hold on a minute. There are some very good reasons why you may want to put down the bullhorn.

1. False Positive. That test you bought at Walgreen’s may claim to be 99% accurate, but it’s not as good as a positive result from a person who spent years at medical school. Just to ensure the results are correct, you should wait for a doctor’s confirmation that you are indeed with child.

2. Complications. And by that, I mean specifically a miscarriage. Miscarriages are more common in the first trimester, and for this reason many women choose to wait until their 2nd trimester before telling anyone. This is especially good advice for anyone who is more of a private person, and wouldn’t want everyone to know they were dealing with a miscarriage.

3. Privacy. Got a mother-in-law who’s been waiting for a grandchild since you got married? Or maybe you have a sister who would insist on smothering you with this news. Or perhaps you have a boss that really doesn’t like the idea of an employee being distracted with a new baby. These are all very good reasons why you might want to keep this a secret you and your partner share for as long as that bump goes unnoticed.

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4. Job Security. This isn’t a typical problem, but it does exist. As mentioned in #3 above, you may have a boss or workplace that is not baby friendly. You tell them you’re pregnant early on, and they have about 8 months to find problems with you, reasons to fire you. Or even in the less extreme case, your boss or co-workers may start using your pregnancy as an excuse to complain about the extra work they’ll have to do when you’re gone on maternity leave. In America, you have no legal obligation to tell your workplace you are pregnant. If you’re worried about negative backlash, meet with your HR person about your concerns and questions.

In the end, it’s completely your decision. If you (and your partner) can’t keep it a secret for one second more, then go on and tell everyone. These are just some of the issues to consider. Remember, there is no “untelling” people you’re pregnant. Think about the people in your life and how they’ll react before sharing the news.

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