What It Means Being a Mother

I many times wonder if somebody “really” knows or “understands” what
Being a mother really is.- -There is no school or University to teach you.–
There are no “Instruction Books”.- You can get classes to learn how to drive, and get an instruction book when you buy a NEW car, –but  when you are becoming a MOTHER.- — You are “on your own”.- !!

And yet to me,– this is the most “INTRICATE” role in a woman’s live.

 For those of you who do not know the meaning of the word “INTRICATE”,—let me help you.:—–

INTRICATE means: “difficult  to comprehend  because of  a  multiplicity of  interrelated  elements”.- WHAT A PERFECT WORD TO DESCRIBE WHAT A “MOTHER” IS. !!

A  mother is “NOT” just the one who gives birth.-This is just the BIOLOGICAL mother.-

A “TRUE MOTHER” is the one  who takes care of that baby
as  the most precious and important thing in her life.-

A mother is  the one who stays up all night when her child is
Sick or has a fever.-

A mother is  the one who worries, when that child is growing up, to become a man or a woman.

A mother is  the one who worries when her Teen-Age son or daughter goes out, and arrives late., always thinking something might have happened to her child.-

Because, –you see,—no matter how old her child might be, they are always her babies, her children.

 For a mother, age has no “distinction” as far as her children are concerned.- They may be 6 months old, or 15 years old, Or 45 years old, —–as long as “SHE” is alive, they are and will always be her “babies”.-

To me, being a Mother is the most difficult,- important , and emotional role in a woman’s live.- To be a wife is also important, but men come and go.  You might get a divorce, you might separate and even forget that man and marry again.- It is difficult and traumatic, but it can be done.

A mother CAN NOT  “divorce” her child, she can not simply forget and replace that child with another one.- That is her “flesh and blood”, for as long as she lives.

 Of course, I am referring to “normal” Mothers here,- since there are others who give birth, but can not be called “MOTHERS”.— This is a “SACRED” word.- Not all those who give birth can be called “MOTHERS”.- They might be “BIOLOGICAL” mothers, but that’s all.

 To be a “REAL” mother, requires a special kind of woman,- a woman who, for some strange reason “feels” she will sacrifice the rest of her life for that child.- And I say “feels”, because nobody teaches us.-

And this is the most “amazing” thing of all.- Babies do not come with an
“Instruction Book” under their arms.,- a Mother (specially a First Time mother).–has no idea what her feelings are going to be,- and yet,- once she holds or sees her child for the first time, SHE KNOWS – that this is a part of her, –her own flesh and blood,—that this baby is defenseless and needs her, — and  in her mind, this is the way it will be for the rest of her life.- It is,- plain and simple “LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT”.-

Mothers are very “strange” creatures.-  Men usually say that it is hard to understand a “woman”.- But it is much harder to understand a “MOTHER”.-

Many times, when the child is still  a new born baby, she might feel trapped in a never ending line of duties and sacrifices. Getting up 3 or 4 times during the night to feed the baby, change diapers, putting him to sleep again, just to have him wake up  less than 3 hours latter.-  Then,- continue with the same thing the next morning.-

When they start walking, we follow them every step of the way, afraid they might fall and hurt themselves.- Then they start school.
Then the “horrifying” Teen-Age years .-, when they think they know everything under the sun,- and parents become a “nuisance.- Many times we, Mothers,- will say:” I can’t wait for you to get married”.-

Until they are all grown up, and they “finally” get married.-  But, then, we realize how wrong we were when we used to say “I can’t wait for you to get married”.— This is the time when we think our whole world is over.-
We have lost our child.- FOREVER.-

Then,– the day of the wedding,- we feel like “slapping silly” people who tell us—“Well, you are not loosing a son (or a daughter), — you are gaining a son or a daughter !!!!—- Give me a break,- WHAT THE “HELL” DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM LOOSING.-, OR WHAT I AM FEELING.- ???

SOOO,— we start wishing we could turn  back the time, and go back to when they were babies, and we had to get up 3-4 times every night.-, follow them when they start walking,- even go through their “horrifying” Ten-Age Years, AGAIN, — just to be able to have them next to us -“AGAIN“.-

YES INDEED.- MOTHERS, are Strange Creatures.- It is extremely hard for us to realize that our children “ARE NOT, AND NEVER WERE OURS,- TO BEGING WITH.-” –

We are merely the instrument GOD chose to bring them to this world.- “THEY  BELONG  TO  THE WORLD”.-

Life is a CIRCLE.- It  is a never ending story.- We are born, grow up, get married, form our own families, and our children, grand-children, and
Great-grandchildren will all do the same.-

But MOTHERS, will always be MOTHERS.- Mothers will never accept the fact that they will have to share their son, with another woman, or their daughter with another man.-

Mothers will never get used to the idea that their children will move away, and they might not be able to see them for some time.–“BUT”- They are the best “ACTRESSES” in the world.- They will make everyone believe that everything is alright, and that she is “VERY HAPPY” with her daughter or son-In-Law.-

For a Mother, no matter how old her child is, even if he is 50 years old, and she is still alive, that child is and always will be “HER BABY”.-
She will gladly give him, not only a kidney, a lung, an eye. She will give
that child, “her own life”,- just to see him or her “HEALTHY” AND “HAPPY”.-

YES INDEED.— A “MOTHER” IS A “STRANGE” CREATURE.- THEY MOST  DEFINITELY  HAVE  A VERY  “INTRICATE ROLE”  IN THEIR  CHILDREN’S LIVES.- !!!!!

     And I will close with three of my favorite quotes:

1) “Human Nature is so constructed, that it gives affection most readily,         
      to those who seem least to demand it.-
                                                               by:  Bernadr Shaw

2) “I know what I have given you.- I do not know what you have  received.
                                                              by:  Socrates

 3) “Sometimes, the Heart sees, what the eyes are unable to.-”
                                                             by: Ernest Hemingway

Eva de la Torriente Diaz
Sept. 25, 2009