Wake Up!

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Being a stay-at-home mum is mostly a pure delight.  There are so many magical moments to share with your little one, watch every new development with awe and above all, just BE there so they grow up feeling safe and loved.  However, there is a darker side…

Suddenly I have found myself the victim of a new sales strategy.   Automated telesales…  Barely a day goes by without at least one phone call from what sounds like somebody’s answering machine, trying to persuade me to buy whatever it is that they feel I simply cannot live without.  As a new mum living on a tight budget, they might just as well try to sell me the Taj Mahal for all the success they’ll get.

I smile and hang up, go back to rocking my baby son until he falls asleep peacefully on my shoulder.  Carefully, I carry him to the bedroom, lay him down in his crib, listen to his breathing and watch the rise and fall of his little chest as he lies there, arms thrown above his head in blissful abandon.  Softly I tiptoe away, hoping he won’t stir…

There it goes again! I answer the phone with a whispered “Hello?”

“Guten Tag.  Mein Name ist Christian Kay.  Haben Sie……“

My smile becomes a grimace as I hang up and retrieve my now crying baby from his crib and resume rocking duty.  Leaving the phone on the table, I find a comfortable chair to nurse this grumpy infant into a milk-induced coma.  Ten minutes or so pass and I am lost in his half closed eyes, mesmerised by his sleepy gummy grin as his little body relaxes into…

…startled rigidity at the clamour of yet another phone call.  Hissing through my teeth, I stomp to the kitchen with child still hanging onto breast for grim death.  I grab the phone and snarl into the receiver “Yes? What is it?”

It’s okay.  It’s just my mother-in-law.  We exchange pleasantries, catch up on the week’s news and arrange to meet for a cuppa some time in the week.  By now, baby is wide awake.  I sigh, resigning myself to another hour of no cleaning, no ironing, no housework at all.  I’m too busy.  I have a three month old to entertain.  At least, that’s my excuse.  Settling back into my chair with child on knee, I scan the internet for ways I can earn a bit of cash by working from home.  I wonder if they need someone to record these messages?  If you can’t beat them as the saying goes…

Looking at it from a practical point of view, whom do they expect to interest with these unbeatable offers?  Who will they catch at home?  New mothers 0.8% of the population, unemployed people 10.5%, retired people 18.3%.  Okay, so that’s almost 30% but most of these people do not have money to waste.   I’m sure I’m not the only mum who is irritated at being disturbed by a robot hell-bent on selling and while there are many “silver surfers” amongst the retired population, I can’t imagine that they would respond too kindly to this impersonal and often confusing approach.  Many of them have enough difficulty using the various functions of their “newfangled” push button phones.  Therefore, they have already alienated a fair sized chunk of their so-called target group.

Additionally, these robosales companies pick the most expensive time of day to make these calls.  I would be happier by far if they called after 8pm when they would save themselves money, thus enabling them to make the offers even MORE unbeatable and they would be more likely to catch working individuals at home, preferably sales representatives so they get a taste of their own medicine.  So wake up sales guys.  And let my baby sleep!