True Definition of a Single Mom

My intent in writing this blog is not to upset anyone, especially, a Single Mama. Everyone is different and has their individual situation. I understand and respect that. It just bugs me when woman think they are a Single Mama when someone else is taking care of them and/or their child while they sit around surfing the web and watchin’ soaps.

The most common description of a single mom is a woman who has been left by the father of her child to raise their child(ren) alone but it is not that simple. Depending on who you speak with the definition of a single mom will vary; thus, the concept becomes more complex and debatable. For example, some women who live at home with their parents or other family members consider themselves a single parent. Woman who have a new significant other living in the same home believe they are single moms, too. Another example is a woman who still lives with the father of her child, but feels as though she is a single mom. This woman can even be married or engaged. So you see it’s not as simple as it first sounds.

Personally, I believe that a woman who contributes more than 50% of the child raising responsibilities is considered a single mom. This belief is applied to women who experience the following situations: 1) living with a family member 2) living with the father who does not support the child 3) woman who live with a man who does not consider the woman’s child to be his, but they are living together and 4) the married woman. Yes, the married woman! The married woman who is unhappy in her relationship and the husband is distant.

As a woman, in general, we are nurturing and emotional. The majority of the time we are constantly multi-tasking and taking care of everyone but ourselves. Mothers support their children financially, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually- more than the father. Just because the husband supplies a paycheck does not mean he is doing his part. Of course, if the husband and wife agree that she will stay home and he will work, then that is not what I am speaking about. As I described above, being a parent entails more than just providing a roof over the heads of the family members. It’s about teaching their child, discipline, love, time and so much more.

As a single mom, if your parents are raising your child more than you are then you are not doing your job. There are exceptions just as there is with anything else. Extenuating circumstances such as, a natural disaster or the loss of a loved one, name only a few of those exceptions. I know there are many other hardships that occur in one’s life. Legally, if the man and woman do not reside in the same household then the woman is considered a single parent. Some may even believe that if the woman is not married, then she is also considered single. Today, there are over ten million single mothers in the United States. Unfortunately, many children are growing up without guidance from the male model that they need in their life. The mother is left to complete the two-parent job by herself.

o you feel like a single mom? Are you a single mom? Is your partner not contributing as much as he should? If so, what will you do to address the issue(s)?