Tips for Taking a Shower When You Have an Infant or Toddler

Establish Your Daily Routine – Build in Shower Time!

One of the most common things I’ve seen as a new mother is that many of my fellow new moms find it extremely difficult to take a shower when they have a new baby, especially one that doesn’t sleep, is colicky, or nurses frequently. Given all these potential challenges, combined with a lack of sleep, and any mom might easily forego a shower for a nap or just to avoid another possible point of stress.

But here’s the thing, if you start early your baby will be used to your time spent showering and it won’t be a big deal for them as they grow older. It’ll just be part of their daily life. And you will reap the benefits of some luxurious minutes alone tending to yourself—you deserve it! You’ll also be a much happier and better mom because you’ll feel so much better about yourself. I don’t know about you, but greasy hair and body odor are not a great way to spend the day, even if it’s just you and your little one. If you shower daily you won’t have to dodge the friendly neighbor or delivery person who shows up at your door!

Figure Out What Time is Best for You to Shower

My daughter was born at the end of November and it was unseasonably cold and snowy – just my luck. So I found myself stuck inside with an underweight baby who had no fat on her little body and couldn’t be taken out for walks or to the mall during the cold and flu season. As an outdoorsy and active person, this was my worst nightmare. As much as I loved my beautiful little peanut, I soon realized that I needed to find ways to make myself feel like an adult human being separate from this almost constantly nursing child – I wanted my body and my mind to be my own.

I kept track of her patterns and made notes about what time(s) she was drowsy, happy, squawky, entertaining herself, etc. Armed with this information I was able to determine what part of the morning made sense for me to shower with the least possible resistance i.e. no crying or fits. When she was a newborn, my showers were either at 10am or later around 1pm. It didn’t matter too much to me, as long as I got in some me time. You can track your child’s natural rhythms too. You probably already know what makes them calm, excited, or engaged. Use what you know to grab 10 minutes of shower time.

Tip: Stock up on scented bath oils, shampoo, face wash, or body gels that smell great and revive your spirits. I found that scented body gels and hand lotions are invigorating and help me feel refreshed when I am dog tired.

Tune Into Your Child and Figure Out What Soothes or Engages Her

How does your baby respond to water sounds, air vents, or music? Does your baby need to hold onto or play with something if you’re not with them? Does he have a lovey or a special toy that captures his attention more so than others? Does he need to have movement or vibration? Does she do okay on her own for 5 minutes but need to see you and be reassured or she’ll lose it after that?

I found that my daughter was all about her hands. Even at just 6 weeks old she was much happier if I gave her a plastic toy ring to hold in her hand. She grasped it tightly and brought it close to her face, later she did this with her lovey too. Music or rhythmic sounds have always helped her relax, and now she’s just one year old but she hums and sings and dances almost constantly.

Here’s a list of what worked for her very early on, six weeks and up:

-    Full stomach, just fed and burped
-    Bathroom air vent on
-    Sitting in musical bouncy chair or a vibrating papasan chair snuggled under a blanket
-    Plastic ring to hold onto
-    Toy bar above her, when age appropriate
-    Facing mirrored door so she could “play” with and talk to the other baby

I’ve always brought my daughter into our large bathroom, if your bathroom is tiny you may have to keep your child in the hallway outside the bathroom with the door open. I’d get her situated in her bouncy or papasan, you might use a swing or something else that works for your child. After that I’d give her a toy ring and turn on the vent and musical portion of her chair and face her toward the mirror. We have a mirrored door but you can use a baby mirror and prop it nearby or attach it to a toy bar if possible. Before I headed into the shower, I’d calmly tell her that mama needs to take a quick shower while she plays. Then I’d step into the shower and tell her that I loved her and I would be right out and blow her a kiss. Her favorite song was “Itsy Bitsy Spider”, so I’d sing that while I showered and she’d coo back for more. Babies love to hear their mom’s voice, according to studies there’s nothing more soothing. So you can keep talking or singing in a soft voice and that will buy you time – it’s worth the extra energy!

If she cried or whined I’d tell her not to worry and I’d open the shower door to peek at her, smile widely (with confidence), and give her loving reassurance. She usually smiled and calmed down so I could continue to shower. As she grew older I would play peek-a-boo if she got too cranky. Most of the time she needed to see or hear me and simply needed some attention and TLC. I tried my best not to let her angst unravel me, always keeping an upbeat non-guilty attitude while trying to reassure her. I know it’s hard sometimes but you have to remember that you’re not harming your child by allowing them to have some time alone, you’re giving them an opportunity to learn to self soothe and entertain – it’s an incredibly valuable skill!!

Always Have a Backup Plan and Be Flexible

As any mom will tell you, what works today may not work tomorrow, it’s the nature of the beast. You figure out and gently slide into to one routine and as soon as you’re comfortable – wham! – it doesn’t work anymore. Keep this in mind and have a back up plan so you don’t have to abandon your shower with soap in your hair or a partially shaved leg.

My daughter outgrew the bouncy seat and was no longer content to stay strapped in idly listening to music and watching her spiders go up and down on the activity bar. But I knew that she loved to jump, so I bought an exersaucer that was inexpensive, jumpable, and had music that she’d enjoy. Her exersaucer replaced the bouncy seat but she continued to face the mirror. I also had to make sure she had her lovey with her, a small mini blanket with an animal character’s head i.e. monkey, giraffe, cow, etc. Lovey’s can be introduced at any time but I started hers at 4 months and she grasped it and hugged it right away – 8 months later it’s still a a huge comfort to her and she drags it around as she plays. She’s an extremely confident and independent kid and I think having a portable slice of comfort has helped her to be so social and outgoing. She only uses it for part of the day and any new situations where I think it will make her transition easier.

Tip: If your nursing/bottle feeding, use the lovey during your feeding session and it will smell like you and give your child extra comfort when you’re out of sight. Like mama’s voice, there’s nothing quite as soothing as a mama’s scent!

Pre-shower Planning: Get Everything You Need Laid Out to Save Time

Before you strip down and leap into the shower, put all your body moisturizers, face creams, hair styling products, clean clothes and whatever you’ll need in one easy spot. When you get out of the shower you want to be as fast as possible if you’re child is new to this. Once they get used to amusing themselves and used to seeing you go in and come out, they’ll be better at watching you emerge without going ballistic.

At first I had maybe 5 minutes from exiting the shower to getting dressed and taking her out of the bathroom. Over time she has learned to amuse herself and play silly games with me as I do my morning routine, now we’re up to 15 minutes post shower. Which means I can apply make-up and even do a quick blow dry if I choose to! The key for us has been interacting with her and giving her feedback when she’s playing. She loves having my wet hair tickle her face and the blow dryer drying her hair from time to time. And when she presses music buttons on her exersaucer I do a funky dance and freeze when it stops, she presses it again and I do a different dance, she loves that. And in between it all I can brush my teeth, apply make-up and get dressed, so we’re both happy.

Watch Your Child and Heed Their Cues for Short Routine or Long Routine

Okay, so as much as this sounds like it works, there will be days when things go awry. More often then not, they’re the days that you actually need to take a shower and you have an important meeting. You have to have your child’s needs in mind and still get out the door looking clean and reasonably pulled together. So rather than risk becoming bitter toward your innocent little babe if things go wrong, try to have a plan for cutting corners. If your child is whiny, over tired, a little sick, teething, etc. You may want to skip the shower altogether, or spin around without washing your hair and then do an abbreviated post-shower routine. It’s much easier to take this route and tend to your little one rather than forge ahead with the standard routine in mind and struggle with a screaming child –  not a fun way to start the day!