The Stay-at-Home-Mom’s Guide to Maintaining Sanity

It’s easy to forget that in order to stay calm and fully functioning, a stay-at-home mom needs to take time for herself. At times, it seems impossible with the daily list of chores and kid interruptions, but even a few moments of peace here and there can make all the difference. Here are five ways to take that necessary calming breath throughout the day.

1. Step outside.

What a simple thing to do! Find a time when they are all in a safe place, behind baby gates or otherwise entertained for a minute or two, tell them you are right outside and will be back in a minute, go out, and close the door. Don’t let the list of chores left to do weigh down on you. Take a deep breath of fresh air. Look at the color of the sky. Find patterns in the clouds. Watch the cars go by, or the grass grow, or the trees sway in the breeze. Just a minute or two is enough to find your place within yourself and the world around you.

2. Take a bath.

For those who haven’t been there, this may seem silly, but I guarantee that with many children in the house, bath time is sacred, and often skipped in favor of sleep. Use nap time or just after the kids are in bed to take the time to pamper yourself with the solitude of the bathroom. Light a candle. Use bubbles or bath oil. If you like to read, bring a book.

3. Do your hair and nails.

Just because you don’t have anywhere to go, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t present yourself in an attractive fashion. Looking better will help you feel better. Take the time to focus on you as a beautiful, desirable person. If it helps, pretend you are going out, and dress up. If you have daughters, they might enjoy participating, but if it gets too overwhelming to have them there, close the door and come out when you are done. Get up early or wait until kids are at school if your children are notorious for following you wherever you go.

4. Make time with your pet.

A pet is often a lot of work, especially when they are small, but an older pet can be a real source of companionship and understanding. When I am particularly frustrated or sad, my pets have always seemed to know what to do to cheer me up, whether it’s just sitting and letting me pet them, or playing around gleefully to distract me from my own inner dialogue. I’ve been the lucky companion of fish, snakes, cats, dogs, lizards, toads, mice, hamsters and guinea pigs. What seems to make the difference is that connection with another living being. Pets don’t talk back, they don’t dump their stress on you, they don’t ask for advice, they just want to be cared for and loved.

5. Go on a date.

Remember walking hand in hand with your husband? Your relationship is the foundation of your family. A date doesn’t have to be dinner and a movie. Go stargazing in your yard after the kids are in bed. Take the kids to the park together and talk while they play. Have an older sibling watch younger ones while you take a walk together in your neighborhood. Share a puzzle or play a game together. Discuss music or TV shows or movies, or whatever you want, but make sure to talk about something besides just work and children.

In order to be the best mother that you can be, you need to make time to be you, not just wife, and not just mom. You need to have space to think adult thoughts and do adult things, with or without other adults. You need to have a few minutes that are just yours in every day. These five ways to take care of yourself are simple and inexpensive. If you take the time to do them, you will feel better about yourself and your role as a mother.