The Benefits of Giving Your Child a Choice
April 21, 2007 by Kimberley Linstruth Beckom
Published in Motherhood
With the way the world is today, parents are faced with a hard decision, do you give your child choices or do you choose for them? It’s sometimes difficult to know when to start this hard process of “letting go”. This is a fun article on the benefits of giving a young one some choices.
When you are a parent, you are faced with the day to day decision of when to allow your child some freedom in making a choice, and when to make the decision for them. Every parent would probably agree with me that there are times when this is feasible and there are times when this is not. The age of the child, what the decision is about, and what time of day will all play a factor in allowing the child to make a decision.
When my daughter was around two years-old, could understand a few words, and knew what toys were, I started to let her pick out her own in the store, for instance, I’d ask her which color bear she wanted from the two bears I’d hold up to her. She’d point to the one she wanted and would usually say the color. This of course accomplished more than one thing, first, it helped her with the reenforcement of her colors, and two it started her on the long journey of being able to make decisions for herself.
I tried to start out very small with her because I wanted to make sure that she had fun making her own decisions. I also wanted her to learn that once a decision was made, it should be carried out, like deciding on a color, and then sticking to that color. Yes, it’s a bear and it’s not really a decision that will make or break her morally, but it’s a decision that was made and that was the goal I wanted to achieve with her at that time.
As my daughter got older, I moved unto other decisions like the outfit she wanted to wear for the day or what she wanted for lunch. But I chose when to ask her and also when to make the decisions for her, carefully. After all, a toddler isn’t going to care that it’s twenty degrees outside if she wants to wear her sandals and bathing suit for the day. But, of course, we as the parent, would, if we have to take our child out in it for school or what have you. This is when I’d try to steer her into the direction of jeans and a turtle neck with nice warm boots. The art of parenting is key here if you want to make it to school on time. And my reasoning would win out over the want she had.
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