Life Changing News I’m Pregnant!
I’m Pregnant, which means terrified, excited, nervous, sad, happy, confused, smothered and feeling alone all at the same time.
I know what you are thinking: “You are not the first person in the world pregnant and feeling these things.” Fair enough I will not argue with anyone on that yet I personally feel if I do not get this out of my system in the only way I know how I will freak out. Usually I would babble someone’s ear off in times of great stress but sadly my boyfriend is not that great of a listener.
So here are the details: My boyfriend and I do not currently live together nor are we married as of just yet (that I am not worried about it will happen its the living situation that ruffles my feathers.) Its not for the lack of me enjoying the company of his roomate I do its the fact that I don’t think I can handle living in a house even temporarily with his roomate its the fact that they live in a complete bacholer pad/party house and there is no way my pregnancy hormones are going to be able to withstand the noise and people coming and going all the time. Plus many of my boyfriend’s friends smoke pot which I despise and the smell has always made my stomach churn.
We are planning on buying a house and I understand my boyfriend is overwhelmed by that too. He was planning on buying one before we met but now the pressure is on. I was laid off in April and though I collect unemployment, sell Avon (www.yourAVON.com/ahengy) and still avidly look for a job I know he feels that all the weight is on his shoulders in the financial department. I try to make him understand that I wouldn’t care if we were living in a one room shack as long as we had a roof over our head and we were happy as a family. I am not a materialistic person at all. I just really, really need him to realize I just need him everything else does not really matter. As long as he is there for me emotionally, physically and mentally and our baby is healthy the rest of the world could end and I would still be happy.
Don’t get me wrong I do stress about the pending financial struggles that are looming ahead. Nearly every level minded person has told me that is normal. Unless you are a celebrity or wealthy to begin with you will never be financially ready for a baby. I agree with this. I am the second of seven children and I don’t doubt my parents had never gotten the hang of getting money in order even by the time the youngest came along. This is just going to be one of life’s surprises and if I stress too much about it nothing is going to change anyways so all I can really do is just focus at the task at hand.