Life Changing News I’m Pregnant!
August 1, 2011 by Ashley Hengy
Published in Motherhood
I’m Pregnant, which means terrified, excited, nervous, sad, happy, confused, smothered and feeling alone all at the same time.
I know what you are thinking: “You are not the first person in the world pregnant and feeling these things.” Fair enough I will not argue with anyone on that yet I personally feel if I do not get this out of my system in the only way I know how I will freak out. Usually I would babble someone’s ear off in times of great stress but sadly my boyfriend is not that great of a listener.
So here are the details: My boyfriend and I do not currently live together nor are we married as of just yet (that I am not worried about it will happen its the living situation that ruffles my feathers.) Its not for the lack of me enjoying the company of his roomate I do its the fact that I don’t think I can handle living in a house even temporarily with his roomate its the fact that they live in a complete bacholer pad/party house and there is no way my pregnancy hormones are going to be able to withstand the noise and people coming and going all the time. Plus many of my boyfriend’s friends smoke pot which I despise and the smell has always made my stomach churn.
We are planning on buying a house and I understand my boyfriend is overwhelmed by that too. He was planning on buying one before we met but now the pressure is on. I was laid off in April and though I collect unemployment, sell Avon (www.yourAVON.com/ahengy) and still avidly look for a job I know he feels that all the weight is on his shoulders in the financial department. I try to make him understand that I wouldn’t care if we were living in a one room shack as long as we had a roof over our head and we were happy as a family. I am not a materialistic person at all. I just really, really need him to realize I just need him everything else does not really matter. As long as he is there for me emotionally, physically and mentally and our baby is healthy the rest of the world could end and I would still be happy.
Don’t get me wrong I do stress about the pending financial struggles that are looming ahead. Nearly every level minded person has told me that is normal. Unless you are a celebrity or wealthy to begin with you will never be financially ready for a baby. I agree with this. I am the second of seven children and I don’t doubt my parents had never gotten the hang of getting money in order even by the time the youngest came along. This is just going to be one of life’s surprises and if I stress too much about it nothing is going to change anyways so all I can really do is just focus at the task at hand.
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August 2nd, 2011 at 2:17 am
I think everything you are feeling is common…there’s nothing you can do that will fully prepare you for what it means to be a mother. Maybe you are starting a little young, and I’ve always had the mind set that you should be financially prepared BEFORE you start a family, but we all know it does not always work out that way. It’s scary if you don’t know that your boyfriend, husband, fiance or whatever he is is %100 invested. I hope you know for certain you can depend on this man and he will be there no matter what to take care of you and your child. I’m not trying to discourage you in any way, but a lot of “dads” are excited in the beginning, and then things get hard and it’s suddenly too much…then you and your baby are alone. And I say pay your boyfriends mother no mind, because your man is right…it is your body and should be your decision. As long as you don’t do anything to harm your child…what business is it of hers? Lastly all I can hope for is that you have a friend you can talk to. I wouldn’t have made it through my pregnancy without my best friend, whom I’ve known since high school. She is my confidant and was there for me through everything, and kept me sane. She supported my every decision and I think she was as excited about my baby as I was! All I can hope is you have one too. You will need her, trust me. Your baby’s father is important, but sometimes not enough. You need that girl time, know what I mean?
Best of luck!