Is You Toddler The Master of Disaster?(humor)

January 17, 2012 by margiedunn  
Published in Motherhood

The most effective weapon of mass distruction…….a two yr old.

 I’m a stay at home mom with a toddler and a teenager(I know …What the hell were we thinking Hahahahahah)and I have figured out you shouldn’t clean your house until right before everyone gets home because your toddler will go behind you and destroy everything you cleaned.If we wanted to end the war on terror alot sooner we should have sent toddlers to the enemy ,they would have destroyed everything in their path in minutes and then took a nap and started all over again hahahaha.And scheduling anything with jr. around is nigh on impossible,toddlers can’t tell time they eat,sleep,play and poop on their own schedule not yours.I now know the only reason we survived as a species(toddlers are cute and sweet)or the first caveman to come home to jr. would have fed him to a sabre tooth tiger after the first tantrum.Don’t get me wrong I love being a mom and I love my kids very much,but sometimes I want to run away and join the circus,hahahaha.Yesterday I put together a toy car garage for my son and in 10 minutes(it took me 2 hours to put it together)he destroyed it the pieces were all over the living room he looked up at me and said”Ifised it”which we all know in toddler speak means “look mommy I took this thing apart because I wanted to play with all the little peices”.Now he has started following me around and saying PEEESE his version of please but he won’t say what it is he wants so I pick him up and take him in the kitchen(maybe he’s hungry AGAIN)NOPE TRY AGAIN,I take him to his toy box,nope,I put in his favorite movie,nope,(by now I’m at the end of my rope and my patience)he looks up at me again and says peeeeeesssseeee,about that time his sister(who has been at school all day) walks through the door he looks up at me and says nankooooo(toddler for thank you so much mommy)So we make it through homework(the baby fell asleep on the couch)and as I am starting dinner he wakes up screaming (I honestly have no earthly idea why he’s screaming loud enough to make the neighbors think I beat my kids)He pulls on my sleeve(I really do hate when he does that)and says”holme”meaning (hold me mommy)so I pick him up and take him back to the living room(him in the kitchen just scares me witless)he throws himself on to the floor and proceeds to bang his little head against the floor(I hate tantrums he’s really gonna hurt himself some day!!!!!)Just as this happens Daddy walks through the door my son stops mid tanrum (he acts as though nothing was ever wrong!!!!!!)and my husband then asks the dumbest question a man can ask as he looks around the house”What did you do all day?” AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.

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One Response to “Is You Toddler The Master of Disaster?(humor)”
  1. jonasponas Says:

    heheh, not an easy life :)

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