Bye Bye Wonder Woman
September 1, 2010 by Alaina Ellington
Published in Motherhood
As a stay at home mother of two young children I know what it’s like to get caught up in all the hype that surrounds women who choose the stay at home career. We are held to a higher standard for most things. Because we stay at home our homes are automatically expected to be completely spotless, we never have laundry piled up, you will never find sand on our floors or fingerprints on our windows.
Image via Wikipedia
We have all the time in the world to do absolutely everything on our to-do lists. You will never find us stressed out because we fit relaxation time with a box of Twinkies and a movie in our non-busy schedules. Our children never act out, they are always obedient. Every single one of us knows how to bake, does it well, and does it often. You will never enter our kitchen and not see a full cookie jar. Dinner is ALWAYS ready by 5:30, and the table gets set by our dutiful children who also help with the dishes afterward so why would we ever be tired.
All I can say is I wish! It is hysterical to me to read an article that discusses how easy being a stay at home mom is. How choosing this career is the easy way out. Most husbands actually believe this line of garbage too. I am here to give a much needed wake up call to both those opposed to the stay at home career and those that do it dutifully meeting every need but coming up just a little short in her expectations.
The only person in the world that could do absolutely everything on your to-do list, every single day, without taking one day off, never making any mistakes would be Wonder Woman. Only wait, Wonder Woman doesn’t exist. She is a fictional character created by William Moulton Marston’s imagination. Not only does she get everything done that needs to be but she looks great doing it. Ha!
I can tell you right now, I do my cleaning in my pajamas. Why get dressed when I’m only going to have to change my clothes after cleaning my house. I’ll just wait until the dishes are done, floors are swept, and laundry is put away then get ready for the day.
I am not saying that there aren’t women out there that do get absolutely everything done, I am mostly addressing those that spend most of their day stressing out about getting everything done. Though possible, why get stressed? You have options, you can either spend your time dwelling about how much you have to do, and not get very much done, or you can work on what you need to get done and what doesn’t get done goes on tomorrow’s to-do list.
For those husband’s who come home to a messy house I have one word for you: kids. Just because your house is a mess sometimes when you get home, does not mean that your wife did nothing but sit around and eat bon-bons. It means that though she did what she could without losing her mind, you have children who went behind her and tore everything back out. Your wife does work hard, and staying at home with the children is more mentally challenging than one who does not take on these responsibilities would ever know.
If you are saying right now, then why not get a job? There are just some mother’s who, if they have the ability to, would rather take care of their children. Though they want to be the main caretakers of their children and they enjoy staying at home most of the time, there are times that they want to lose their hearing and sight because the craziness is just to much. Wouldn’t you rather your children be taken care of by their mother instead of a stranger who charges you by the hour? You should appreciate that your wife has chosen to put her goals and aspirations aside in order to be there for your children, just as she should appreciate that you work hard to give her the option of staying at home.
Women we need to say goodbye to the Wonder Woman aspiration and realize that we are human. No matter how depressing it may be to not finish those to do lists, we need to realize that it’s doing us no good to dwell on what isn’t finished. Let’s seize the moment, slow down, get organized, focus on the important things that need to get done, and enjoy our children with the time we save by getting rid of the things that just aren’t that important. There are few things in this world that really matter. Your children are only young for a very short fleeting time, you can never get that time back. Tell you husband if you have to that you are not Wonder Woman, and you will never be! He needs to realize that things will get done when they get done, and you do to. Take a break, relax, breathe a little and start enjoying life. Now go take a shower and wash away those false self-imposed expectations. Look in the mirror and be grateful for who you are and what you have!
Liked it
September 1st, 2010 at 3:59 am
I love your articles I dont know how you do it but time and time again you deliver quality with detail and consistency and the articles even have some nice witty remarks in there what make me laugh to.
September 1st, 2010 at 11:48 am
Dear Alaina
What can I say, that has to be the most truthful article I’ve read all year, offline and online! Most Mothers are exactly wonder women though! My Mother for example, is the strongest most disciplined, hard working, intelligent, reliable and amazing person I know! She chose as a teenager to have kids, had me when she was just 17. My brother Darko followed two years later.
She was the only one who really gave a damn about us boys. We were her life and she dedicated her life to raising us into men. When I was an 18 year old grown man, and working a fulltime job, she gave birth to Marko, he is 5 and half now. Nearly two years ago she gave birth to Milosh. She spent three weeks in intensive care hooked up to machines to stay alive after that birth, and almost died!
I can say that over the last near 6 years I found out just how hard it is to look after children. It’s impossible to keep a house clean all the time when there are little kids running around everywhere spilling drinks, food, dragging dirt in etc. I found out that despite having worked the most physical job in an iron foundry 12 hrs a day, that I at least had the chance to rest after work. Mum did not! She worked having to feed three adults and two small children until the late hours of the night.
Being a stay at home Mum is the hardest job one could do. It’s physically and mentally draining. Kids are very difficult to control in the best of times, and having to clean, clothe, feed, and watch over small children is very draining. Add a further three adults to look after, and being a stay at home Mother is no walk in the park!
I respect all Mothers that care for their kids. Mothers make the world go round. I’d do anything for my Mother; she’s the best person I know.
You should be really proud of yourself Alaina. Its people like you that keep this world progressing forward. Guess who your kids will love with every fibre of their being, especially as they get older? You will be their everything! I love your new profile picture, its proof that Some Mothers look better than most childless women ever will! One big hug goes out to you!!*
Dejan.
September 1st, 2010 at 3:38 pm
Thank you mimmer. I am glad that my articles are able to entertain as well as inform! I appreciate your feedback.
Dejan,
I too was really young when I had my children. [almost 16 when I had my first] Your mother sounds like an amazing woman. You should let her know how much you appreciate her often. We mother’s tend to forget that we are appreciated and that what we do or have done is appreciated and recognized.
Thank you for the compliment on my profile pic as well…I wasn’t sure I liked that picture but I went with it anyway
You are too sweet!
~Alaina
September 2nd, 2010 at 12:09 am
Very Intresting