A Moment of Mommy-hood

March 24, 2013 by Larinna Chandler  
Published in Motherhood

What do you do with a naked, streaking toddler…a lost baby and a four year old who throws temper tantrums to flush the toilet.

Why is it kids can make you laugh, cry, yell and get scared all in the space of about 2 minutes?

The answer…well i dont really know. I mean why do men have to try and fix something that really isnt broken?…Yet. Why do women change their minds constantly? Wait..lets not talk about that.

So there you are happily (not really) vacuming the crumbs of someones half chewed cookie when a kid, the other one, streaks by you wearing nothing but one sandal, on the wrong foot. You laugh. Then you smell a funny odor. You sniff. It seems to be coming from the streaking kid. You turn him around and sure enough. He’s got brown streaks halfway up his back. You backtrack and find used toilet paper hanging out of the toilet and a streak on the seat, and on the roll of paper…and on the doorknob.

Now your cleaning the bathroom.  You hear a muffled cry. You start to panic. Its the baby. You run back into the living room and you cant find the baby, but you can hear her crying. You listen, pinpoint the sound and find that she crawled behind the couch and got lost. You pull the couch out, grab the baby and set her on the floor by the chair(she likes to stand). As you turn to put the couch back you step in the still unvacumed cookie crumbs from the first kid. Then you have to pee.

You run in the bathroom only to realize (with your pants half down) you still havent cleaned the streak off the seat. Clean quick, pee then both toddlers come ask you for dinner.  Just as you realize you  have to go number two… both boys start dancing around because now they too have to go to the bathroom.  You have to hurry or they both will start peeing on the floor. Then they fight over who gets to flush, who gets to go first, who gets to open the door. 

As you put the pot on to boil you hear what suspiciously sounds like dirt from the poor potted plant hitting the carpet. You peek in the living room and there is baby girl with dirty hands, a really dirty face and dirt in a circle around her.

What do you do now? Cook, clean, wipe face, wipe butts, clean the cookie that is now smashed into the carpet, stop the boys from fighting, put the couch back? Well, i dont know either! Its good to know that you didnt get a childraising manual either.

You hug the baby, and get drooly dirt on your shirt. You put spagetti in the boiling water and get splashed. You wipe hinders, and have to wash your hands-three times. Push the couch back, stir the food, vacume the floor, stir the “sketti” and look around.

The boys are sitting next to their little sister trying to teach her how to roll a ball. Unsuccessfully, because she wants to eat it…even  though its 10 times the size of her head.

You have food on the table, you have a roof over your head and three beautiful children who gave you something to do today. You have a drooly kiss stain. For this moment in time, regardless of what else is going on in the world…everything is all right-all is well-life is good.

After all, without them, what would you have done for the afternoon? What fun would you have had alone?

(and wasnt it fun making three babies!!!!)

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