Woman Seeking Divorce: A Guide to Finding and Hiring a Divorce Attorney Without Going Crazy

No one wants to believe their marriage will end with a divorce. However, the statistics are everywhere and they are sobering. The reality is that a married woman will likely find herself in need of an attorney to help navigate the waters of marriage dissolution. The question is, how to go about finding the attorney that is right for you and who will be the best advocate for your rights and those of your children.

Facing the end of a marriage is never easy. There are legal, emotional, financial and personal implications that will affect all parties for years to come. Over time, many of these issues can be dealt with, but first things first: a woman needs to find the best legal advice and representation she can. This is not the place to look for a bargain. Sure, rates and retainers are important considerations, but what is most important is that you will hire the person or firm that will be your best advocate in the courtroom.

Having an attorney represent you means that this is the person you trust to speak for you. You are putting your faith in this person to argue for everything you have a right to, for your rights as a spouse and a parent, and for your children’s right to being well cared for and supported. Look at all of your friends and think about the qualities each has. How many of them would you pay to carry this responsibility? How do you find the best attorney to represent you? Following are 10 steps you can take to ensure you make good choices:

When to start:

 Ideally, you start your search for an attorney before your spouse. When you contact an attorney to discuss representation, they will take your name and your spouse’s name and then put you on hold while they conduct a quick search of their records. As long as they have not spoken with your spouse, they will entertain your call and answer your questions. As you can see, if you live in a small town, you could quickly run out of options if your spouse has already talked to all the lawyers in town. Start early and be proactive.

Talk with friends:

Most everyone knows someone who has recently gone through a divorce. Now is the time to contact those friends and meet for coffee. Ask about their process and who represented them. Ask for a recommendation and clearly understand whether they would choose to use the same attorney again if they had to do it over. Get not only the good report but ask about the negatives so that you are fully aware of the lawyer’s strengths and weaknesses.

You also know people who have not been through a divorce, but they may know of others who have, or they may be familiar with local attorneys who you could put on your list to research.

Search the web:

 Many law firms now have Web sites. Use them. Search all about the firm and the partners and pay attention to the areas of specialty for the firm. If they are mostly involved in corporate law, this is not the firm for you. You want family law specialists or divorce specialists. You can hire a jack-of-all-trades to mow your lawn, but not to handle your divorce. Look at the resumes of attorneys you’ve been told about or referred to. Check out where they went to school, how long they’ve been practicing law, and even their hometown for clues that will help you determine more about them.

Big firm, small firm:

 There is a real difference in how you will be treated by the type of firm you choose: big or small. At a big firm, you’ll have a big reputation behind your attorney due to the heavy-hitting names of the partners, not necessarily your attorney, but they will have a reputation based on their association. At a smaller firm, you won’t have the big names more likely, but you may get better service and slightly lower rates. As you make your calls, check out references and conduct interviews, you’ll get an idea of which type of firm you prefer.

Courthouse proximity:

 This is strictly a financial reality: your attorney (or someone in their office) will be making several trips to the courthouse on your behalf (and charging you for that time and the expenses). It only makes sense that you make that trip for them as short as possible. When choosing your attorney, make sure their office is a reasonable distance to the courthouse, even if you have to drive farther for your appointments, their time is nearly always going to cost you more than your time or your losses from taking time off from work.

Use the phone:

 As you make your list of attorneys, you will get an idea of those you might like to interview. Now it’s time to call them and speak with them over the phone. Keep in mind the difference when contacting an attorney at a large firm versus a small one. At the large firm, there is going to be a secretary or two you will have to speak with first and they will usually tell you the fees upfront. Calling a smaller firm can oftentimes get you to the attorney to answer all of those questions and more. Either way, see if the attorney will allow for a free consultation and make the appointment.

Free Consultation:

The purpose of meeting the attorney and interviewing them is you want to see if this person is a good fit for you, are the qualified to take on your case and will they do their best work for you in this divorce. You need to ask questions. Find out how much of their practice is divorce and how much in other areas. Ask the attorney if they’ve had cases similar to yours. Ask them about their background, where they went to school and what made them choose this specialty.

Retainers and Hourly Rates:

 While divorce is emotional and stressful enough, the most difficult part can be the expenses involved. Attorneys rate seem high, but frankly, this is what they get paid for: to take on the legal burden of an emotionally crippling event when you are least able to fight for yourself. It only makes sense to have a disinterested third party fight for what’s best for you and for all you are entitled to because during this journey you will not be able to do this for yourself. You are probably feeling successful these days just by getting out of bed and getting dressed every day. No one is able to do it all, so this is money well spent, albeit at a time when you least have any to spare.

Keeping in touch:

It goes without saying that the best working relationships are those where both parties keep in touch and keep the other informed. This is also true with the relationship you will maintain with your attorney. Call them if anything in your situation changes. When they contact you, take their call and see what you need to be doing. If you want to save money, ask them if there are small tasks you can do that will save them from having to bill you. For instance, if you can make photocopies for five cents a page but your attorney charges 20 cents a page, ask if you can provide all the photocopies for your case and then do so in a timely fashion.

Pay your bill:

The only thing worse than a deadbeat dad is anyone not paying their attorney bill on time for their divorce. Be respectful of your attorney’s expertise, their education and their student loans, and the effort they put in on your behalf. If you don’t have the funds to pay on time, call them and make some arrangements to pay something each month. Your reputation is on the line and also, you never know when you might be in desperate need of an attorney in the future.

These steps are no guarantee of the perfect attorney-client relationship, but at least you’ll know you made good decisions in hiring based on something more than a phone book advertisement and that you did your best to find an outstanding advocate for you and your children.