Why Some Men Can Not Commit to a Relationship

April 4, 2011 by Marie Heyns  
Published in Marriage

Some common reasons why some men are reluctant to commit to any relationship.

This is an age old question, “why some men can not commit to a relationship” that’s been asked by so many women to date. The answer to this is also not a simplistic one at all.

When a man looks at his relationship, he doesn’t have the same “urges” or needs that a woman does. A woman wants to feel safe and secure; a man is usually all of that already. For a lot of men it is much more rewarding to sow wild seeds all over, rather than getting “stuck” with just one woman. For these men it is merely a question of “Why do I need to commit when I can get all the goods I want for free?” For them it’s the same as putting a kid in a candy store, with such a large variety of goods to choose from the choice feels rather daunting and somehow not needed. Like a child, they have to try it all out. They see commitment as losing the opportunity to sample all the delicious, freely available lovelies that’s out there. Another internal question that enter their minds is;”What if I miss out on the most beautiful or “perfect” one by committing too soon?”

For some men the reason can be a heart stopping fear of taking on all that responsibility. As we all know, marriage and children and all that comes with it can be a huge and quite daunting for some men, take on of responsibility. Some men can simply not handle even the mere thought of that and therefore rather remain single.

Other men had a traumatic experience with perhaps his parents breaking up, rocking his “safe” world completely and making him “gun shy”. In his mind there is always the possibility that the relationship could break up, so he rather does not commit. These men are usually good types of men, otherwise, who could with the right guidance, lots of patience, love and understanding be helped to overcome that fear of commitment.

Then there are those men that did heartily commit before and had a very hurtful/bad experience. If they had been cheated on or disappointed badly or simply dumped for no apparent reason, then they would want to commit but are just too afraid to be hurt again.

Trust is also a big issue for some men. Men with trust issues had somehow learned, from early on, that women are just not to be trusted. They believe that women are all money hungry and only latch onto men for their money and or status. Committing to a woman means putting your heart on a line and no man wants a high heeled stiletto to just step right onto it on her way to get to the next, richer guy.

An often neglected reason can be that he isn’t satisfied in bed in this relationship. Most men, naturally, have this innate fear that if he isn’t satisfied before a marriage commitment then he’d be even less satisfied once the woman is comfortable in marriage. This is one of the most easily resolved reasons there can be out there. There are numerous books as well as websites dealing with exactly this subject and a woman can easily learn what it is her man needs from her.

Then again some men are just not ready for it. In today’s societal structure there are fewer pressures to get married and men can weigh their options instead of jumping out of school right into marriage. They can build careers first, play the filed a bit and buy a house before looking for the “perfect” wife to share it with.

After all is said and done, to get a man to commit isn’t all that hard to do. Just because he’s afraid to commit doesn’t necessarily mean he never will. There are numerous ways to read about and learn online to get him to do just that.

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2 Responses to “Why Some Men Can Not Commit to a Relationship”
  1. CHIPMUNK Says:

    It is really sad when they avoid a relationship on such issues

  2. R K Vajpeyi Says:

    Relationships are tricky business and all the more so because of factors discussed in my article “Why men are like that”

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