Why Get Married? Certainly Not for These Reasons!

July 25, 2013 by Gary Davis  
Published in Marriage

Sometimes it seems to make sense to do something that makes no sense at all…read on!

When it comes to marriage, it seems that reasonably sane people tend to lose their heads. Marriage is a highly charged and emotional issue, and, perhaps, that is why people don’t think at times.

During the course of my life I have watched as couple after couple has divorced, and, believe that there are definitely certain marriages that should never have taken place; the two people got married for the wrong reason.

“Everybody is doing it!” That was the first phenomenon I witnessed. We all went to high school together; we all went to college at the same time; lets all get married at the same time. I don’t want to be the one left out, much as I didn’t want to be the one without a date for the Senior Prom. Peer pressure; falling behind; “I’m not where I should be”; it all equals a big mistake.

“Age traits” was another ill-advised reason I saw. A man about 27 would be taken with a girl about 19 because she worshiped the ground he walked on. She could only see a person who was perfect because he was so much more mature than the “men close to her age.” He was deeply in love until the first time a family crisis came up and she was of no value when it came to being a support system; people have a tendency to act their age under pressure.

Another problem was that of marrying someone for fear they may marry someone else if they weren’t “snapped up”. In that same vein, just agreeing to get married because a person is “tired of waiting”, or, feeling that nobody better is going to come along anyway.

Of course most people know that marrying for money is a bad idea, although, I’ve heard more than one of my friends say “It’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich person as a poor person”.

Getting married because you’re pregnant is bad for all concerned, including the baby. Conversely, getting married because the body clock is ticking is not a good thing.

When parents get involved, whether it is pushing to marry a certain person (and they do have their favorites); or, you are expected to marry within a certain social strata, it is a problem. I know some very, very miserable people who limited their choices to people who were of a certain career choice or heritage.

Finally, when a person marries a person because they want to “fix”, or “improve” that person, there is going to be a major problem.

There are many bad reasons to marry. That is one of the reasons so many marriages end up in divorce. I believe most of them have to do with either lack of, or, loss of patience.
It is important to have an idea about who you are looking for. Also, there should be a very clear emotional signal when it’s the right person.

Don’t ever try to “judge” a relationship. If a person keeps their mind open, when the right person comes along, they’ll know it.

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