Why Do Women Date Married Men?

September 27, 2009 by T.L. Sanders  
Published in Marriage

Women may choose to date men who are married for several reasons.

A single woman may choose to date a man who’s married because she is lonely. The married man shows her attention and shares details of his marriage with her. He may be looking for a confidant, someone he can relate to and sex (things he may be missing at home). The woman is often seeking attention. She listens to his complaints about his wife and marriage, all the while comparing herself to his wife and convincing him that she can treat him better. She waits and hopes he will leave his wife for her, believes he is a good man and feels sorry for him all the while not realizing that there are 2 sides to the story and chances are he won’t leave. This type of lonely woman may have low self esteem, has lost sight of her self worth or needs a man in order to feel validated. She may be tired of being alone and feels that a part time relationship where she has to share a man is better than having no man at all.

Some women date married men for the challenge. These types of women get pleasure out of taking what does not belong to them. They may cause chaos or drama in the married man’s household because this gives them a sense of power and importance. They get satisfaction at the idea of sleeping with another woman’s man and may make comments like “he may be married to her but he keeps running back to me.” Women like this are usually empty on the inside, have a hard time keeping man of their own around, drama queens, appear to be in control to those on the outside, but inside they have a great deal of unresolved issues.

Gold diggers are notorious for dating married men because they know the married man will pay. Women who love money treat the relationship like a business and as long as he pays, she plays. This type of woman may develop feelings for the man but she is not going to continue dealing with him without a price. She realizes he is married, she knows she’s cheatng herself by dealing with him and deep inside she doesn’t respect, trust or feel sorry for him. Women like this love money and material things and usually have issues when it comes to men. They may see all men as dogs and have the “I’m going to get mine” mentality.

A married woman may date a married man because she knows he can fully understand her situation. They have a lot in common because they are both in marriages and may be feeling lonely, underappreciated, disappointed, frustrated or neglected. Time, children, sneaking, jealousy, drama are usually not issues. This type of relationship is convenient for both parties and although it is morally unacceptable they will both find it fulfilling and low maintenance., as long as they don’t get caught.

In some cases two people may meet, develop a friendship. Over time this connection could cause them to cross boundaries or fall in love. Unfortunately the woman thinks she has found the man of her dreams but he is married and therefore this creates a situation. The woman may enjoy his company and conversation and likes the way she feels when she is with him. Her love may be genuine and he will tell her that his love is genuine but if he is in a marriage, particularly where children are involved, chances are they will spend a lot of time fantasizing and imagining (which gives her false hope) but when it comes down to it the married man usually does not leave. He will blame it on the children and say he doesn’t care about the marriage but will do everything in his power to keep the wife from finding out about the other woman. This usually turns into a situation where a woman falls for a confused man and in the long run she becomes confused as well.

A young and inexperienced woman may fall for a married man because she doesn’t know any better. If she is in her early twenties or late teens or if she is old but inexperienced when it comes to men and dating she may not recognize game. She will feel priveleged that a manĀ  who is married desires her over his wife and the idea that a man would leave his wife and children for her makes her feel special. She has no clue that most times men like this have no intention of walking away from their families.

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4 Responses to “Why Do Women Date Married Men?”
  1. logo1000 Says:

    I find it all interestng because my husband left me as i fought so desprately to keep him and keep our family from braking up but he left me for her she was pregnant with his child concieved during the affair and 8 years alter they have 2 more children i recently after 16 years of marriage just got a divoce after waiting it out stupid i knw but i could not let go but when i did they got married i do not think he has changed she has to really watch his steps now as cunning as they both are ! He is going to do the same to her i am sure of it ! and he still has feelings for me and i am now remarried so i guess that is why he took the plunge too ! he was hurt i did that but said to say it’s not going to last you see he never loved her she just was someone to lean on in his time of discuss anger and despiration and he now has those feellings for her oh ! well be careful what you ask for you just might get it And oh boy is she going to get it ! HaHaHa !

  2. T.L. Sanders Says:

    I’m sure that was not easy but I’m glad for you that you were able to marry again. I’m sure it would suck for him to move on and remarry while you’re left to live life alone without anyone to love. I guess I was wrong huh. In some cases I guess married men do leave…

  3. clafleur Says:

    Those were all good reasons. I think it goes way deeper than the things you spoke about. Perhaps you will decide to do a part 2 on this article.

  4. T. S. GARP Says:

    This happens all the time for both men and women, with various reasons on both sides, a most complex thing indeed, but happens nevertheless. Good article!


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