When Your Wife Commits The Offense of Infidelity: What Can You Do?

July 30, 2013 by Gary Davis  
Published in Marriage

There are answers to that question.

Sadly, many men equate their masculinity with sexual prowess. Much the same as teaching little girls that they’re to be thin and pretty, society teaches boys that they are to be “macho”; the quintessential conquerors. Sometimes, after a couple has been married for awhile, a man nay be faced with something society has not prepared him for at all; an unfaithful wife. While it is overwhelmingly noted, that women rarely have an affair for totally physical reasons; that is little comfort to a man who has been hurt. It is an emotionally crippling thought for a man to imagine his wife embroiled with another male. He not only sees that as infidelity, he sees that as theft by another male. It is not just a case of shattered trust and love; it is a case of ego.

Men are extremely visual beings anyway; this is one case where that aspect of the male package is not valuable. If most men are like me, they just can’t imagine that smiling, loving and caring woman, especially if she is the mother of their children, having an affair. What can be done? I think the first thing that a man has got to consider is that there may be a desire for revenge; either against your wife; the man, or, both. The scary thing is, that initially at least, some husbands don’t even care about the consequences. It is for that reason that, I would get hold of as many supporters to stay with me as possible. You will probably be in shock. You will have a million questions. The main one, of course, is “Why?” Followed closely by, “Do you love him?” “Do you want a divorce?” All fair questions. All should be left for later.

The best thing to do right now is to just deal with the pain. Accept the fact that one way or another your life has changed. I truly think men are less equipped to handle infidelity. Maybe it’s just a matter of women having more experience dealing with a myriad of emotions. When you have gotten over the initial shock of finding out about the affair; you’re given it a little time, then talk to your wife. It is at that time you can find out the situation. Whether it was a fling, or, if it is a romance. You may find that your wife has developed any one of several mental problems. The marriage is always worth the examination. Is she sorry, or, is could she care less?

Who did she have sex with? Her attitude is the key as to whether or not you’ll be willing to consider trying to try to heal the relationship. Based on what is said, is what you’ll make your decision on. Once I had talked to my wife, and had a chance to think things over, I would get in touch with an attorney. Not so much to start divorce proceedings, rather to find out if there were any protective measures I should be taking. Sometimes a straying wife won’t give the husband a choice; she wants out of the marriage. I’m not a psychologist. I am a husband. I’ve seen men, as well as women, hang on to a marriage for the childrens sake after there has been infidelity. I have to say, for some reason, there doesn’t seem to be as much long-term success when the offender is the wife.

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