When a Married Man Loves Another Woman

December 15, 2009 by Carmel BRULEZ  
Published in Marriage

I have been a private relationship expert and life coach to the rich and famous for many years.

Let us imagine that you are a single woman and you have got into a situation where you are in love with a married man and he is genuinely in love with you.  He is not just after you for sex and fun, he misses you a lot when you are apart and he cannot wait to see you again or just hear your voice.  He has got to know everything there is to know about you and likes you and enjoys spending as much time with you as he can regardless of sex.  It makes you wonder about marriage.  Marriage,  is there any point?

Some men enter into affairs or look to have sex outside their marriage and then end up falling in love with the woman they are seeing.  Others are so bored with marriage or their wife, or so fed up with her faults,  that they fall in love with the idea of love and would think they are in love with ANY woman they are seeing outside the marriage.

What they decide to do about it depends on their situation, how honourable he is and his personality. Some men dream of leaving the wife for a nicer more exciting woman but even when they find this fantastic woman they do not have what it takes to make the break and change their life so drastically,  they would rather stay with someone who bores then than disrupt things,   even though they know they will be happier if they make the change.  Others, usually younger ones,  are more up to the challenge and maybe the risk involved, and are more determined, less set in their ways, more likely to make the change.  This man asks himself… Should I divorce my partner?

One of the odd things about a married man who has another woman is that he always assumes that she is longing for him to leave his wife and move in with her.  Yet if marriage and living together was very important to her she probably would not have bothered to get into a situation with a married man in the first place! When a woman is single and looking to hook up with a guy she would usually only date a single guy if marriage or living together was what she was after.   The married man expects the girlfriend/mistress to settle for just being his bit on the side…. special friend… secret significant other…for as long as suits him,  but then if and when he finds he wants to leave and can leave he expects her to want it to be all different.  Even if the woman was upset about him being married at the start she has now got used to the way things are and she is probably not keen on changing it,  and if it had been important to her to get married and live with someone she probably would have dumped the married man and settled down with a single man.

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