Top Four Tips in on Good Marriage Communication

September 14, 2011 by sawasdee  
Published in Marriage

For a relationship to work smoothly, good communication is essential. Both spouses need to learn how to listen and how to express themselves well. In fact, this is one thing that is taught in marriage therapy. With a therapist in the middle of marriage therapy, each is allowed or even assisted so that he or she can get the message across. Of course, making the couple listen to each other is also very important in marriage therapy. After all, communication is typically a two way process. It is the only way couples can understand each other.

For a relationship to work smoothly, good communication is essential. Both spouses need to learn how to listen and how to express themselves well. In fact, this is one thing that is taught in marriage therapy. With a therapist in the middle of marriage therapy, each is allowed or even assisted so that he or she can get the message across. Of course, making the couple listen to each other is also very important in marriage therapy. After all, communication is typically a two way process. It is the only way couples can understand each other.

Tackle the Real Problem

Instead of enumerating every single annoying thing your husband or wife does daily, you should just say one trait that causing such actions. For instance, your husband could have a habit of leaving his shoes where he takes it off. Dirty worn clothes could be scattered all around the house. But when you find the time to talk to him, simply talk about orderliness. Do not end up complaining about each item. Again talk about orderliness and the rest would follow. If you set the house rules about orderliness, you won’t have to alienate or put him on the defensive stance.

Leave Some Room for Mistakes and Imperfection

While people would naturally want perfection and they want to pleased all the time, you should understand that your spouse is just human. Sometimes your spouse may not be in a good mood. So when you get a little sarcasm you should just let it pass instead of meeting it with a high voice which could just end up into an argument. You should not be too serious about everything. If you learn to have a sense of humor there would be fewer fights and miscommunications. In short you should also learn how to listen to his mood through words and actions. You should not even take it personally when he or she is not in the mood for talking. And when your husband does not want to go shopping with you, you should just go alone or with your friends instead.

Stick with Facts

If you have to pinpoint a certain thing that your spouse has done, you should only talk about that instance. You should try to avoid saying that he or she always or usually does that. Again this would only put him or her on the defensive side which would cause the other party to react in a more emotional manner. This would again cause arguments and fights between the couple.Your goal is if not to avoid, than to handle the conflict (or as we Danes say – konflikthåndtering stilarter)

Be Objective and Be a Good Listener

Again listening is taught in marriage therapy. But you would also be taught how to express yourself. As much as possible, you should not go into so much details because people get tired of listening after a span of time. Before the other party gets irritated or annoyed by your litany of complaints, you can make him or her understand what you are really saying. In effect, you would help him or her to be a good listener too. When both parties are effective in expressing themselves and in listening, they would understand each other better. With a little effort, the marriage would go smoother and the couple would be happier.

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One Response to “Top Four Tips in on Good Marriage Communication”
  1. Sunjhini Says:

    good points. well written article


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