The Single Life : Alone, But Not Lonely

July 13, 2013 by lynnes75  
Published in Marriage

The answer to the question: Which is better, marry or single? Either one is good, if it brings contentment to you.

I ran into an old friend the other day. We used to attend the same high school, until our graduation and we both went separate ways to live our life.

The first question she asked after the usual greeting was done with was, “So are you married yet?”

I said “No”. And she said, “Why not? Such a waste if you don’t get married. Do it quickly. You’re so alone!”

I smiled politely, and asked after her family. She got married a few years after finishing high school and currently has 5 children, the eldest a teenager and the youngest a toddler. I congratulated her and after all the niceties were done, moved on. Notice I refrained from telling her that she wasted all her schooling and not having a stable income, but instead married the first man who asked for her hand in marriage and were thus having to raise a big family with minimum wages. It was, after all, her choice, and if she was happy with it, who was I to tell her otherwise?

However, I lingered awhile over one thing she said with such conviction, “YOU’RE ALONE!”

I believe what she meant was because I was still single, then that would mean I was pathetically lonely, poor me (*eye-roll*).

Come to think of it, she wasn’t the only one I know of who thinks that being single means being lonely. There are relatives and friends you meet who would ask the same questions and say the same things, “Are you married yet? Why not? You’re going to end up alone. Don’t be so choosy, get married quickly. So and so is married, when is your turn? Don’t you have a boyfriend?” blah-blah-blah…

And there are the people who don’t say anything but look at you as if they know everything and pity you because you’re not married yet. The ones who tease your single friend standing beside you who have a significant other asking “When’s your turn?”, then look at you and noticeably refrain from asking the same thing because in their mind they’re already going, “Oh, him/her. Also still single, but no boyfriend/girlfriend that I know of, so I’d better not tease her/him because she/he has no one, poor her/him.” But then because that’s the only thing which is on their mind anyway, neither do they converse about other things, and so everyone just stand there in awkward silence. What do you talk about with such people? They give off an “I’m better than you because I’m married and I know more than you because of it. Until you’re married then we have nothing in common to talk about, etc. etc.” and then they move on. Rude, as well as stand-offish and proud when they have no real reason to be. I see no reason to tell them that I might have a boyfriend but that I am quite content with the way things are, for the time being.

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