The Potential Pitfalls of Marriage

Getting married is one of the most wonderful things that could happen to a person. This indicates that someone loves you enough to vow to be with you “till death do us part.”

Soon enough though, the smoke clears and the dust settles down and then you wake up one day with your supposed to be eternal partner, missing in his/her side of the bed.

So what went wrong? Where have all those promises gone? Were they just meaningless words spoken in the heat of passion and lust?

Here are the ten major pitfalls of marriage and how you can get prepared for them.

Great expectations

You come into the marriage with great expectations and an ideal picture in your mind of how your marriage should be. You picture your partner as a perfect person who will always be there to give in to your desires and wishes.

You must remember that nothing and no one is perfect in this world. Expect the best but not the perfect.

As you live with your spouse day in and day out, you should expect to find out all about his/her personality quirks eventually. Learn how to accept and tolerate them. You have vowed to love unconditionally, anyhow.

Thinking that you can change the person you love

You can never successfully transform a person unless he /she is willing to be transformed. Change should come from within, so that it would be truly successful.

Instead of trying to change the person, try to change yourself for the better. This would not only promote your personal growth but also can motivate your spouse to change for the better too.

Not discussing about finances

Don’t assume that finances should be managed anyway you can. Have a clear cut agenda with your spouse on how to manage finances. Who pays for what, how much will you spend on clothes, etc.

In the long run, when financial problems come, they would be easier to solve as there are already established guidelines and a standing agreement.

Several marriages are ruined because of financial misunderstandings and problems. Do not be one of them. Your marriage is more important than money.

Assuming that romance is something you do not work hard for

Romance comes naturally with two loving couples, but when the hurly-burly of daily living takes its toll, romance usually is relegated to the background.

During times like these, you have to work hard to recapture romance. Be creative. Devise a new approach to romance to avoid boredom and routine. You could spend some time together (without the kids), even if it’s only once a month. Go someplace where you could be alone and enjoy each other’s company.

If you could not do this, then at least spent a few hours daily with each other. Quiet moments like these usually spark romance.

Equating passion with love and assuming that this would last forever

Passion is like the physiological functions in our body; they tend to wane with time. Even your sexual hormone production dwindles.

In fact as you grow older, you will notice that you no longer feel the sexual “stirrings” as intense as it was before. Do not assume you no longer love your spouse because of this. This is a natural process and no matter what you do, it is bound to happen.

Understanding this fact would pave the way to a higher level of relationship, the nobler more meaningful spiritual bond that transcends the physical and human frailty. When a couple reaches this stage, their marriage is 90 % assured of longevity.

Do not fall into these potential pitfalls. Marriage is a partnership and a dynamic relationship.

Be aware of these pitfalls and be ready for them instead.