The Loneliness of Being Single

February 7, 2012 by blanka  
Published in Marriage

You were never made to be alone; little wonder you get hurt when you try…

There could be any number of reasons why you could be alone, unhitched and unattached to anyone. It could be because you just lost someone and you’re yet to get over them; or it could be that someone just lost you and you still haven’t got your act back together. You could be alone because you were brought up believing you didn’t need anyone, or simply because you happened upon the same unfortunate thought all on your own. And then, here’s perhaps the most common and most exasperating of reasons why you might not be in a relationship – or better still, a marriage – call it my personal favorite: because there’s nobody in the entire world worth trusting at all with your life.

Well then, this piece is not to tell you that you’re entirely wrong, or that the experiences you have so far had were mere figments of your own rich imagination; no. What this is about, is telling you the truth about being single, plain and simple. Quite basically, you were never meant to be alone – not by God, not by nature; not by providence or evolution, or whatsoever in the world you choose to or not to believe in – you simply weren’t made that way. This is why there are more than a few unsung repercussions, for you and for those around you, if you come home and there is nobody there waiting to have or hold you, nobody to look forward to.

At the risk of coming across as oh so cliché, I must iterate that there’s a loneliness in every human being, a vacuum that longs to be filled. You could have family – parents or siblings; you could have friends, acquaintances, colleagues in or from the workplace, and even exes – you could have all of these and then some, but the truth does remain that they are only available to you for so long, like an apartment you leased or rented. Sooner or later, everybody goes back home to their own respective problems and issues, and leave you alone to deal with yours.

It’s a horrible thing, and you know it, when you have just got a promotion at work and there’s no one to share the joy of it with. Sure, you can call up your friends and have them come around, drink your liquor, eat your food, spend your money, but soon they leave to deal with their issues, and leave you alone to deal with yours. It’s the same – no, worse – when you get fired. Much as misery loves company, there wouldn’t be so many people willing to come accompany you through your misery then. You wouldn’t so easily be able to have them come around and rock your pity party with you; and even though you do end up finding a few who can sympathize or empathize enough to join you, it would be sheer folly on your part to even think that your loss means the same to them as it does to you, or that they would still be there with you forever. Again, the music has got to stop at some point and the party has got to end; everybody eventually has to leave and return to deal with their own respective joys and sadnesses, and leave you alone to deal with yours… and then there’s just you and the four walls of your home.

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One Response to “The Loneliness of Being Single”
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