The 80/20 Rule of a Cheater

He pampers you, takes you to dinner, showers you with kisses and expensive vacations. You feel unlimited exuberance, as though you are the happiest girl in the world. Then you suddenly feel as though you have been hit in the gut. Yes, the unexpected gut feeling that most people get when there is something wrong. Then your exuberance turns to anger, and every sweet gesture your significant other showed you seems to go down the drain. 

If you have ever been in a situation similar to this scenario, only to find out that your partner has been cheating on you, then you are not alone. In fact, the risks seem higher for many women who have dated or married wealthy men. For example, one of the signs that your man is cheating is when he is overly generous or tries to “buy” your love. Although this is not always the case, over-compensation after an indiscretion is one of the signs displayed by cheating partners and physically abusive men. The reason may be because of guilt; therefore, self-esteem and a clear conscience are important factors for men and women. In a previous post, there is a list of 5 signs of cheating: 

www.beyondjane.com/family/marriage/five-signs-your-partner-is-cheating/

The 80/20 Rule

People can become vulnerable after finding out that infidelity was committed in the relationship. Women have a tendency to blame ourselves by asking questions like “Why?” and “Was I not pretty enough or small enough? Did I not give him enough attention?” Although these may seem like reasonable questions, these reasons are not usually true. In fact, many partners (men and women) who cheat have said that it is simply because of how the new lover made them feel. You could be the most beautiful woman in the world, but that does not guarantee that your man will not stray. Just ask Halle Berry. Men like sexual variety and the more successful he is, the more attention he may receive from other women, regardless of how good the man looks or how unattractive the other women are.

So here’s the rest of the scenario. A man leaves a good woman, his “80″ to get with his “20″, someone who is less than what he hoped for or thought she would be. In the end, the man loses the game after noticing his now ex-wife or ex-girlfriend is dating again and looking more appealing to him. The mistress is less important to him, because he wants his cake and eat it to. Either he wants his wife back or refuses to leave his wife or girlfriend for his mistress, because reality has sunk in. The grass is greener on the other side, but everything that is green is not new money, and everything that shines is not gold. Again, although this is not the case, it applies to many women who have dealt with a cheating spouse. 

For answers to your questions or if you can relate to this story, leave a comment below. We would love to hear your story. To find out the 5 signs that your partner cheating, check out www.beyondjane.com/family/marriage/five-signs-your-partner-is-cheating/ .