The 80/20 Rule May Help Your Marriage

June 16, 2012 by rodster57  
Published in Marriage

Knowing who and what you are dealing with is important.

Hoping to have a perfect marriage is what most people want and some may be willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen, but; it just isn’t always possible. You already know that no one is perfect, including yourself. One of the first things you should do when evaluating your relationship is to examine yourself, jot down the things you are doing right in your marriage. Second, write down the things you are lacking or doing wrong in the marriage, have your spouse do the same thing.

If you are lacking in the marriage make the necessary adjustments, the idea is to take responsibility for your own faults. After evaluating yourself evaluate your spouse, be honest and list all the things that bother you in your relationship. Most of the time people hold things in until there’s a conflict, that’s when it all comes out. You should sit down and have a rational discussion about how to make things work in your marriage.

If you have kids together in the marriage, you should also consider what you are putting the kids through. You are suppose to be great examples to your kids, but let them know that there is no perfect relationships. Show them how to remedy a situation, teach them morals and how to respect themselves and the one they are with. If you approach your spouse with finger-pointing and playing the blame game; you may not accomplish anything.

Talk about the good things your spouse does that makes you happy, then with humbleness, mention the things that are upsetting to you. Be willing to except the things they point out to you also. Here’s the 80/20 rule: On a piece of paper write down the things that your spouse does good on one side of the paper, on the other side write down the bad things. If the good is 80, then work out your relationship, if not- seek counseling.

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