Steps to Fulfillment in Marriage
It is the desire of every couple to have fulfillment in marriage. However, many marriages are far from fulfillment. Achieving fufillment in marriage requires taking definite conscious actions and this article presents some of them.
When people get married, they expect to have everlasting marital fulfillment through out the span of the marriage. No one plans to walk into a marriage that will be a hell on earth from day one. All couples expect marital bliss and fulfillment.
However, good marriages do not just happen. There are many issues that the couple must be cognizant about and take practical steps to work out. Marriage is not fantasy. In actual fact, the fantasizing ends on the wedding day and the next day, the real practical marriage starts.
Many marriages are not experiencing fulfillment which is the root of the high rates of marital collapse and divorce across the world. Nevertheless a problematic marriage can transform into a romantic one just as a marriage where there is always frequent misunderstanding can turn to a marriage where there will be a loving understanding of each other.
There are many steps to marital fulfillment in marriage which include the following:
Giving and showing love
Love is giving and love involves sacrifice. If a partner truly loves his/her spouse, he/she will give to him/her in many ways. The partner will have to give himself/herself to the other by kind words, by giving time to attend to the other, giving a listening ear, showing affection and providing support in household chores.
There is no true love when a partner is always giving while the other is always receiving. Both partners must work sacrificially for the welfare of each other. True love works for the benefit of the other and not in terms of what is to be gained from the other.
To love the spouse is to provide adequately for his/her needs. To love the spouse is to protect him/her from aggressive in-laws and to stand by him/her. To love the spouse is to live in peace with him/her, make peace always, reconciling when necessary and ensuring prompt conflict resolution.
In marriage, sex and romance is very important. Sexual intercourse is one of the reasons for marriage and sexual fulfillment in marriage is necessary to marital success. Therefore the partners must satisfy each other’s emotional and sexual needs. The inability to fulfill this important responsibility is one of the most common causes of strained marriages.
The sexual act goes beyond mere penetration. It requires that the couple have basic knowledge about arousal, coitus, orgasm and after play to be able to satisfy each other satisfactorily.
A partner must accept his/her spouse as he/she is and for whom he/she is. To accept is to accept his/her imperfections without complaining about his/her deficiencies and without comparing him/her to others. That ’other person’ outside the home may have his/her own imperfections which you may not see. Also your spouse whom you may not value is valuable to others outside. So appreciate what you have and live with it
Acceptance means to accept the temperament of the spouse and not to try to change it. Rather try to change yourself first than seeking to change the spouse.
Acceptance also means to accept the femininity or masculinity of the spouse as the case may be. For example, the woman is regarded as the weaker sex and the man must not expect her to function like a man. Accept that woman are sexually dull, talkative and quarrelsome and flow with them
Also the woman must accept the fact about men that they are more aggressive sexually and should do her best to meet his sexual needs. There may be a need to moderate one’s needs in the interest of marital harmony.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment to live together as husband and wife. Commitment means to stand by the marital vows until death does them part. Commitment means to love the spouse even when he/she is unlovable. That is commitment.
It means to love the spouse in-spite of his/her actions or inactions. It means to be faithful to the spouse in all the circumstances and challenges of life. Commitment means to leave and to cleave as the Bible commands. It means to love the spouse unconditionally.
The lack of commitment by many couples especially marital vows is the root of the destabilization of many homes and marriages across the world.
The above stated factors are essential to the success of every marriage if it is the goal of the couple to have a long lasting marriage that will stand the test of time. A successful marriage is a choice that requires that the couple pay the right price to achieve their desire.