Several Relevant Questions to Decide Whether or Not The Marriage Might be Rebuilt After Cheating

February 27, 2012 by woody45  
Published in Marriage

Finally after the fact your mate suddenly comprehended the damage they did. Although you did say yes initially you really did not offer a firm affirmation. There are a few nagging issues which have to be addressed.

For now you’ve made the choice to stay in the marriage following the affair but the reality is there is a lot of hard work ahead. What your spouse did means there is no going back. Their outright disregard toward you put the entire relationship in jeopardy. Why?

Just so they could indulge their ego. And now after the fact your spouse suddenly recognized the harm that was done. Although you did say yes initially you really did not provide a firm affirmation. There are also a few nagging issues that need to be addressed.

1. Just how Solid Is The Love?

The news of your spouse’s infidelity flipped your own universe upside down and for many people that’s more than enough reason to terminate the marriage. Whatever actual feelings they had are shattered beyond repair and they have no real desire to even try. Having said that other people victimized by infidelity don’t feel this way.
Certainly what their spouse did was dreadful but the love is so solid that they are prepared to do anything that must be carried out to restore the relationship. And in more than a few instances the marital relationship comes back even better. It’s your choice to assess where your feelings are before making the decision to remain with your spouse.

2. How Satisfactory Was Their Apology?

The quality of your mate’s apology is a major factor in deciding whether or not the marriage can be fixed. If it was performed half-heartedly with a minimum of effort and forethought it could indicate the road ahead will be troublesome and in all likelihood the marriage is not going to succeed. It implies your mate is not truly sorry for what they did but more so they are sorry that you found out what they were doing.

Now a sincere apology doesn’t necessarily signify your mate is determined to rebuild the relationship. It may be an acting job so that you will not leave but they will probably continue two timing. Unfortunately there are no ironclad guarantees. Still asking for forgiveness in a sincere manner often is a very good indication as well as exactly how committed your spouse will work to change their lifestyle.

3. Are They Changing Their Ways?

Talk is cheap. What are they doing to make certain what happened will not reoccur? Are they making the changes on their own or do you need to continuously remind them to do so? Are these changes barely noticeable or are they drastic? This more than love or the apology could decide the the future of your marital relationship. If your spouse is not trying to get better than it’s most likely only a matter of time before they go back to cheating in the relationship.

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