Relationship Breakup, Relationship Sucess

March 15, 2011 by NickDutch  
Published in Marriage

Finding the balance between the head and the heart. Solving the mysteries of what a relationship is all about and how to overcome failure and create sucess.

Both men and women want to be in love, we want to make sure that we have what it takes to make our mark in life, to be sure, but more then that we want to be in love. To feel that sense of connection, to be needed, to be wanted. So, we try. Everyone of us, from the youngest to the oldest is aware of the ticking of the clock, so we try and accelerate matters and make the relationships work out according to plan earlier in life, but does that really help? Trying to race towards the finish post doesn’t always help us to take care over our steps. We could make mistakes and trip up big time. How many times have you felt a sense of connection with someone that you have broken up with? Why do you feel that sense of connection, that need for closure? It was because the bond forming stages weren’t completed. Sometimes, despite the pain, we have to move onwards with our lives and learn acceptance that a connection couldn’t happen unless, something big happens that makes us feel that the relationship can get back on track, but that would have to be something major. When a breakup happens, we have to take stock about what we have learned, often we ask ourselves “why?”, but often the answer is a little plainer than what we might want it to be. It can simply be due to lack of harmony between two people. Being in love is not a qualification for success, nor is it a formula for survival and future progress. A good relationship has to be driven by real connectedness and not just a felt connectedness. There has to be connectedness in terms of political views, behaviour, spirituality, tastes, interests and even down to the quantity of time you can spend with each other and how you seek to spend that time together. Ask yourself, in the last relationship breakup that you had, was there something that went wrong in terms of the connectedness you you had? Trust the head, the heart can be powerful, but the reasoning faculties are there for a reason, given to you by god so that you can rearrange your willpower and perspectives on life itself.

But what about the relationships that do work out right? What about them when the “love light” dims? What is the love light dimming all about? It means that the basic hormonal instinct that we once had that drove us to the person that we fell in love with is no longer there. But, that was just the instincts, again given to us by God to assist us in forming the early stages of the relationship. Some people seem to get addicted to this emotional stage in a relationship and then seek out more and more relationship partners with whom they can build new connections with. But, hey presto! The love light again starts dimming at a stage in each and every relationship. Why is this? After a while, we can say that it is down to nature and the way that we are made. When we have these moments, we have to break the cycle of addiction to the “soul mate” connection that we had with that individual and build the relationship on pure hard responsibility. Without that love light feeling there, it can be hard to do. Our emotions can go all over the place, but we have to deal with that through real spirituality and possibly even getting counselling therapy or marriage guidance counselling. Getting more involved with a religion can help as well. Some people find that a call to an online psychic can be most beneficial as a way of offloading the stresses that you may be going through. Online psychics are not speaking with the words of God, so you can freely dismiss what they say if you wish, but they are people who are removed from the situation, who you will never meet socially and are not in your immediate friendship, relationship or working environments. So use them to off load! So long as you can accept the fact that the feelings that you will have for someone will change with the passage of time, but that the relationship can and should carry on, with a new light, one that is ignited by responsibility and eventually gets better than the initial emotional bond that you once had.

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