Qualities to Look for in a Man as You Get Older

Some young girls are always odd and grow into even odder adults.  They look not necessarily for beauty but the way that a man can make them feel emotionally.  Emotions can come from looking at Robert Redford in The Way We Were, at his golden good looks, or Billy Dee Williams with his dark animal attraction (I’m from the old school). 

These are the things we look for in our youth because they make us feel pretty and isn’t that what it is all about.  Imagine growing up, you’re in your early twenties and you get married.  You haven’t had the privilege of dating more than a couple of young men and they were from the local high school or neighborhood.  Then babies come along.  Sometimes more than one.  If you’re not sure of what you want then this could be a total fiasco.

Why not listen to mom and pop and go on to college.  If the love is real it will be there when you return.  Or better yet, if he is that hard to live without, go to college together.  How can you raise children on Subway pay, at it’s highest, under ex-President Bill Clinton, they were making $8.00 an hour.  Imagine paying a car note, rent and providing for two children, even if your husband is working another $8.00 an hour job to go with yours.

As you get older, sensual pleasures fall by the wayside.  My husband and I are in our fifties but we enjoy a monumental love that only became present when lust left the picture.  Don’t get me wrong, sexual pleasures are to be enjoyed; especially between a married couple, but sex, as I found out luckily, is not love.  I say luckily because I was married to the right man when I found out.

You also look for sensitivity.  Being sensitive is not necessarily being able to tell your husband every little thing that bothers you; believe me, they’re not fit for that.  But little things, like getting ice cream for you when you ask or helping you clean out toilet articles that you have too many of.  That is what makes a relationship good.  Before I met my husband I spent twelve years dating a man that maybe had one sensitive bone in his body and believe me that bone is with someone else now and I hope they’re happy.  No, seriously.  Even though I can remember a few good times it was not what I wanted and thank God for the man he sent me.

When you are mature you look at other things besides “who makes the most money or buy me the most expensive present on my birthday”.  You look at the character that you add to each others lives, like wanting to reach out to others, like I am now, to let you know life with another can be worth living.

If you are lucky, when you both know for a fact you were meant to be, then when one is gone they still live on inside of you.  I don’t know about my husband, really (who does), but I know there is no one else that can take his place.  I’d like to think if he went first that he’d be waiting with St. Peter for me.  He promised me he would anyway.  If I go first, I wish the best for him; whether he chooses another partner or not.  It doesn’t make me sad or angry because you can tell when something is so right that it defies any other relationship you may have.

So young ladies, wait to grow up.  Give it until 22 or until you leave college at least.  Life is worth living and remember you can only give your best when you know what to give back.  At 18, even the most seasoned life doesn’t know what they should look for in a man.   Be free, dream on and what you dream about may just knock on your door.