Not Joined at The Hip

July 7, 2013 by Jeff Powers  
Published in Marriage

Why couples should have separate activities.

Got a friend.

Used to like to go dancing.

Got married.

Husband doesn’t like to dance.

Friend doesn’t dance anymore.

This is bad.

Couples should not be joined at the hip. In healthy relationships, couples do some things alone together, some things together with other people, and some things apart.

It would be better for my friend and her marriage if she went dancing without her husband. It would be something she enjoys on her own, it would make her feel better about herself and her life and strengthen her marriage. It would be wrong for her to drag him dancing if doesn’t want to go, but it’s equally wrong for her not to do it just because he doesn’t want to.

One of the best things couples can do for each other is broaden each other’s horizons, assuming they want their horizons broadened.

I used to date a young (well okay middle-aged) lady named Jane who was interested in Indian culture. She took me to a lot of Indian things that I would not have even known existed if it hadn’t been for her. Being exposed to that culture made me a happier and more interesting person.

I like baseball. In the year and a half Jane and I dated, she didn’t go to one baseball game with me. Did that bother me? Not a bit. I had no interest in dragging her to something she didn’t want to go to. Did I let her stop me from going to ball games. Nope, went without her.

Some things alone together. Some things together with others. Some things apart.

Perfect balance

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