My Advice About Falling in Love While Your Married

August 26, 2010 by Kelly S.  
Published in Marriage

My advice about having strong feelings for someone else while in a committed relationship. A woman is concerned about the foundation of her marriage when she runs into her high school sweet heart. She is feeling confused and conflicted as to why her feelings for her ex are still so strong.


I am happily married and have been for five years. Recently I ran into my high school boyfriend at the library. We have been hanging out, and not having sex. I am starting to feel like I should have been with him instead of my husband. I think I have stronger feelings for him more than I have for my own husband. I know if I keep seeing him things are going to progress. What do I? My ex-boyfriend and I had a bad breakup and a lot of issues. Maybe he is a new person and that is why I am falling for him so strongly. I am so confused. Is he my one true love? Isn’t it strange that I feel stronger feelings about him than my own husband? What do I do?

My Advice:

Don’t do it.

I know you feel a rush of excitement from reconnecting with him, but you’ve got to end it. Obviously, the problems you and your ex-boyfriend had led you into the arms of your husband. You and your ex had a bad break up, so you shouldn’t view this situation as some romantic, “meant to be,” situation. You have only been with your husband for only three years, but that isn’t too short of a time to feel a slump in the marriage. You are probably not as excited about your relationship with your husband as you were in the beginning and then all of the sudden “butterfly boy,” from your past shows up on your doorstep on a platter. Marriages and long term relationships almost always have ups and downs, but come back to a loving place. Your ex-only gave you ups and downs without any stability or security.

You need to think about the mind set of your ex-boyfriend also. What kind of guy tries to break up a marriage? Telling yourself he was able to push away the fact that you are married stems from him being, “in love,” or waiting until your divorce is foolish. If he cared so much he would have married you to begin with, or he would have fully waited until you had a finalized divorce before he asked you out for coffee. His character is fully questionable no matter how much you think you know him.

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One Response to “My Advice About Falling in Love While Your Married”
  1. ceegirl Says:

    My advice is, don’t back track. What it was then problem still is now. Always move forward.

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