Love is Great The Third Time Around

August 10, 2011 by DFallis  
Published in Marriage

Finding love when life has already handed you disappointments.

If you have seen The Witches of Eastwick, you’re familiar with the dialogue, “There are three ways a woman loses a man, divorce, death, or desertion.” In truth, there are three ways and some of us have experienced, at least two of them, personally. Love doesn’t always happen to everyone, and then there are those that have been loved, exclusively, or not so exclusively by many.

Divorce is the easiest loss, although many will disagree, because it is generally a parting decided upon by both parties. You divorce. You bicker back and forth for several years, and then the children are grown and neither of you has any interest in bothering the other. Divorce can be devastating to those that have found their “one” love; otherwise, it’s just a parting of the proverbial ways that heals with time.

Death is a little different, in that you did not choose to take this step in life, and becoming the “old widow woman” your grandmother described adds a new dimension to your life that can be quite disturbing. Aside from losing the only life you’ve known for several decades, you’re just one more cracker in the barrel that everyone looks at with that “how pitiful is that” stare. Everyone wants to express their sorrow and many do. Some express things about the man or woman you knew that you could have a lived a life-time without knowing, but it’s the pity that is the hardest to handle.

Most can only imagine the pain of the man or woman that awakens to the “Dear John” note on the dresser. The feelings they must have can only be described as swinging between emotional instability and the cliff that falls forever in your mind’s eye. Hopefully, the emotions are like those that come with the death of a spouse; denial, anger, and finally, acceptance. When love stops, it simply stops. There is no forward-backward motion, just forward with your head held high.

But love, the third time around, is magnificent. The competitive feelings between men and women have dulled, just as the hormones have dimmed. You’ve learned all the wrong things to do and all the right things that make a relationship work. The children are grown and the pets are minimal. The only angst in the relationship is whether or not you will measure up to their expectations or ex-loves. The best marriages are made when the expectations are at their lowest and the individuals have seasoned knowledge of “what not to do” and how to make it work.

Life is too short. Find happiness by yourself, and you will find happiness with others, or the “one.”

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One Response to “Love is Great The Third Time Around”
  1. Carolyn Holcomb Says:

    Good job Donna! I am proud of you! This just might encourage me to start my own blog. First, I must learn to write for some of the companies mentioned previously. But who knows…..? Carolyn Holcomb

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