Love, Anger, and Marriage

October 13, 2008 by JonBear  
Published in Marriage

A view of marriage from a “sort of” newlywed.

When I first got married on March 02, 2006 I had no idea what I was getting into. True I did date my lady for five years before but it was different. The typical newlywed things were different for the Christian couple that was “good” during the courtship; but marriage is not just about sexual relations. What woke me up was waking up to her everyday, day after day, and then some. Getting to know all her little quirks and her mine; and boy are there a lot of them on each end. Dealing with life and making decisions; not knowing where we are going and having a vague goal of how to get there.   

There is beauty in marriage that can not be put into words it is only learned by experience. It is in the constant arguments over the silliest things and the drastic peace negotiations that must take place. Maybe it is in the times of great distress when the entire world is broken and all you have is each other and you thank God you have that. The times when you hurt the other and mercy, forgiveness and love quench the anger and rage. Maybe it is even defending each other against the various idiots and jerks of the world; even if your partner is wrong. Nothing can match marital love, except God’s. Marriage is the greatest picture we have of God’s love here on our little earth and the most dynamic.

There is humor in love also. Or the time when the annoying quirk becomes a favorite and you look forward to that annoyance every time your lover does it and even hope for it to happen again soon. The joy of reaching goals, the joy of winning together, the joy of avoiding stupid arguments, and the joy of just being the married couple you always wanted to be but never thought you could.

What I am saying is best said in a story.

On our honeymoon we were in Costa Maya, Mexico and when we got off the cruise ship we headed towards a beach and found out it was rather far away. Well I thought that we should walk it to save the cab fare and it would be fun to have some time together. So off we go and fifteen minutes later we were there at this beautiful beach. Along the way we had a sad time as we saw hurricane damage and people living in shanties and this seemed difficult to take. We found humor as I interrupted an iguana courtship/mating session. We had compliments as a younger Mexican man commented on my beautiful wife. In short during that short time to a wonderful goal we had tragedy, joy, and encouragement. Well we spent time at the beach and wanted to go back; so we inquired on a cab and found out the big fee I was scared of was only a couple of bucks. Not to mention that an equally beautiful beach was right next to the cruise ship exit point.

The conclusion is that we worked so hard to get somewhere so far away and we experienced life and each other; but we could have missed out on that by going to the close beach or taking the cab. Looking back I would do it the same and hopefully at the end of my years I will say the same about my marriage.

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3 Responses to “Love, Anger, and Marriage”
  1. goodselfme Says:

    This was a wonderful sharing of your new experiences together and the lessons learned that can be used for a lifetime. Thank you for posting.

  2. JonBear Says:

    I hope to have more experiences and want to welcome any advice that people have had more experience in marriage than my wife and I. My hope is to get marriage discussed; because it is both a wonderful and strange thing.

  3. Joanna McKay Says:

    Thank you for posting your article. It was heartwarming and refreshing. My husband and I have been married for about a year and a half and we can relate. It’s nice to read something that is not about divorce or cheating in marriage.


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