Keeping Your Spouse Faithful in a Long Distance Relationship

November 26, 2012 by Allen Teal  
Published in Marriage

This article describes ways to assure that your spouse is not having infidelity issues when your relationship has to be long distance for a while.

Cover of Husbands and Wives

Long distance marriages are hard. The sense of family and togetherness that bond husbands and wives is difficult to maintain when hundreds or thousands of miles are between the two of you. It takes hard work and a plan to make it work and keep infidelity at bay. While there is no perfect method, taking some well planned solid steps can lessen the chances of unfaithfulness by a large amount.

Talk frequently.

In marriage whether you are together or separated, good communication is vital. Since being a long distance from each other adds a new level of difficulty, you need to talk as often as you can for as long as you can. It is really tough to cheat on someone while you are talking on the phone to them. Using a visual form of communication like Skype is even better. The conversation does not have to be profound. Just keeping your spouse in the family information loop is a big deal. You do not want your spouse to feel like his or her presence from day to day in the family is unimportant.

Agree to ask each other the hard questions.

You not only need to talk, but you need to ask each other questions. Agree to ask each other regularly about being faithful. Cheating is not as much fun if you know someone is going to confront you with the question: Were you faithful to me since we last talked? This is not an attempt to accuse or challenge. It is an agreement to make each other accountable.

Develop accountability friendships on both ends.

It is critical that each of you development friendships with people nearby who are willing to hold you accountable for your actions. Meet in person with your accountability friend at least once per week. Construct a list of questions together to be asked at each meeting. This friend is to contact your spouse with the outcome of the weekly meeting. As each partner learns to value the faithfulness of the other one, it will strengthen each of you to stay away from sexual temptations.

Find ways to be together often.

Whenever possible, you and your spouse need to arrange to be in the same place at the same time. This can be traveling to your spouse’s location or vice versa. You can also plan to meet somewhere in the middle if is practical. It may prove to be too expensive to do this a lot, but make it happen as much as you can. Use these times to keep up the physical side of your relationship.

Occasionally, show up unannounced.

Your spouse needs to know that you may want to sometimes make a surprise visit. This is not only a morale booster for both of you, it should encourage faithfulness. Try to find a way to be sure that your spouse is not going to obligated by job responsibilities without making your intentions known.

Keep the separations as short and seldom as possible.

As separations get more frequent and longer in duration, the ability to maintain faithfulness to each will become even more strained. Short infrequent separations should not create fidelity issues for couples with a reasonably strong marriage. Even short frequent separations can be tolerated pretty well. However, when the separations become longer and more often, your marriage can be in danger before you know it. It may require a job change or a relocation, but find a way to reduce the length and number of separations as soon as possible.

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