Keeping Sex Alive in Marriage: The Solution

July 15, 2013 by Gary Davis  
Published in Marriage

Sex seems to wane as our marriages age. Why is that? Can we do anything about it? Read on.

In my last article on this subject I concentrated on the problems of continued intimacy in marriage.

Okay, so what are the solutions?

The very first thing is to go to bed together all the time. Bed time needs to be “couple time”. Additionally, the bedroom should be for two things. One is sleeping, and, the other is making love. It is a mistake to put a computer; a sewing machine, and, a television in there. All of those things encourage distance between the partners. This room is for bonding and intimacy and rejuvenation.

Get a lock on the bedroom door. Also, make it a habit to have getaway weekends periodically. You can lock the kids out of the bedroom, but, you’ll be amazed at how much more relaxed you’ll feel in “expressing” your love when you don’t have to worry about the constraints of your home.

That brings up the next and extremely important point. Sex is to be enjoyed. There is something exciting and endearing about exploration. My wife and I never do anything that makes the other one feel uncomfortable. The act of sharing your thoughts on the subject with your spouse creates a type of communication that draws you as close as the physical act does. Think about it, if you feel at ease sharing your innermost thoughts on this subject with your spouse, it creates an incredible trust and respect.

You know you’re going to be tired. Use babysitters, family and close friends to give you time away from your life. Time to revive and get your energy back isn’t only good for your sex life; it is also good for you.

Lastly, the way you treat each other during the day has a lot to do with the way you’re going to feel that night when it comes to romance. There is a saying that sex starts with breakfast. I believe that is true. If you intersperse that with thoughtful remembrances such as cards and an occasional flower, or, other thoughtful gift, you’ll see amazing results. I would urge you to add to this attitude, a new and improved attitude on how you present yourself to your spouse. Make it a point to “attract” them all over again. Maybe throw on a tie for dinner, or, wear that new dress to a play; learn to flirt again; start trying to make each other feel special again. You know, just as an aside, I read where little touches throughout the day; like when you pass each other in hall or kitchen, create incredible intimacy.

Reclaiming your sex life should be one assignment that a couple is happy to try to complete. It has been my experience that intimacy only gets better with both chronological age and the age of the relationship.

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